Manning the MLS preview and prediction watchtower

Leave a comment

Secret to life: You should take what you do in this world seriously … but never take yourself too seriously.

I’d say the talented pranksters over at The Shinguardian get it about right.

Great site. Some good laughs. Glorious pop culture references. All built on a sturdy and bountiful foundation of thoughtful analysis when it comes to the beautiful game.

I won’t go so far as to say that “If you only read one MLS preview, make it this one.”  Then again, if I had said that, it would hardly qualify as my worst moment in life.

Oh, if you like a little more meat in your stew, there’s plenty of “the serious” out there. You can find solid sentence structure and ample info (facts, figures, predictions, the whole nine analytical yards) at all the usual soccer stops along the Cyber Express.  You know where they are.  If you don’t have time to digest a Hungry Man’s portion of online material before tomorrow’s MLS first kick (#CantWait!) may I suggest you have a listen to MLS Extra Time (click the March 5 edition).

But for a perfectly balanced cocktail of entertaining enlightenment, you could do a lot worse than the gentlemen of Shinguardian and what they have cooked up. It’s clever stuff – but, again, not merely comic relief. For instance:

The “I should’ve been a DP” award

Jay Bell: Joel Lindpere. New York’s talisman will vastly outshine Marquez yet again, proving that $6 million more per year does not make someone a better player.

Biggerstaff: Javi Morales, who I am least 51% convinced is not a DP and am at least 51% convinced should be a DP. RSL will do some work this year in all competitions.

JRodius: Edson Buddle – by the end of the season he will look a steal at $200k.

Price: This is the Joel Lindpere story.

TSG: Taylor Twellman? So last decade. Andrew Wenger.  1st draft pick. Duke education. Montreal strip joints? Wait, son, you ARE a designated player. Big, big, big And again, it’s not just

Couldn’t. Agree. More. On Joel Lindpere that is. Talk about the straw that stirs the Red Bulls midfield, and someone who has every right to have his soccer shorts in a twist about the club’s raging salary inequities. Lindpere earns so much less money, and yet does more work for the Red Bulls midfield during pregame warmups than Marquez does over all 90 minutes. (I know I promised to lay off Marquez already, but I retain the right to hammer away at his on-field quality.) Heck, when it comes to tracking and tackling and doing the dirty work in the center of the park, Teemu Tainio looks like Michael freakin’ Essien compared to Marquez. (Marquez also earned a couple of panel votes as Most Overrated; I’ll have a quiet word with the three panelists who aimed their poison pens elsewhere in that category.)

I can’t quite get on board with Jay Bell’s choice of Benny Feilhaber as Best American this year in MLS. He’s gonna leave a mark on some teams, for sure. But won’t a certain Landon “Toffeeman” Donovan have something to say about that?

And one other little nitpicky thing: I was slightly surprised there wasn’t just a little more love in the Shinguardian preseason opus for Seattle Sounder mighty mite Osvaldo Alonso. Just when I thought I was making some headway on my one-man mission to get people to stop calling the Sounders’ midfield destroyer “underrated,” evidence drops that he might actually still be a little … nah, never mind.  He’s not underrated. Forget I even went there.

Mexico captain Guardado suffers hamstring injury

Getty Images
Leave a comment

With the World Cup still half a year away, there’s plenty of time to heal from injuries and get the body right after tweaking things during the club season.

And yet, there will still be some concern among Mexico fans.

Team captain Andres Guardado suffered a hamstring tear, his club Real Betis confirmed on Monday, and is expected to miss 3-4 weeks. That’s nothing to write home about when it comes to preparing for the big tournament, but with Guardado 31 years old and struggling with injuries in recent years, Mexico fans will be keenly aware that hamstring injuries can return with a vengeance if not given the right time to heal.

Guardado has shown his age in recent times, not necessarily with his play on the field, which has been critical to his country, but with his fitness. Guardado has just four full 90 minute performances for Mexico dating back to October of 2016, missing time with ankle, leg, and now hamstring injuries in that span.

The 31-year-old has had a fine season so far for Real Betis, scoring one goal and assisting six while appearing in all 15 La Liga matches for the club thus far. The club sits 12th in the La Liga table with 18 points.

Guardado will be fine with plenty of time to spare, but if not fully healed properly, there’s always the risk that muscle injuries can flare back up, and Mexico fans will hope that their captain’s club gives him plenty of rest to recover.

Mark Hughes wants Stoke City to “suck it up”

Getty Images
Leave a comment

Mark Hughes is under fire at Stoke City with the Potters firmly entrenched in the relegation battle, and with that he’s charging his players, staff, and himself to gut the rest of the season out.

With Stoke heading to Turf Moor to take on Burnley, they sit just three points above the drop. The players were faced with jeers from angry fans at the train station following this past weekend’s 5-1 disaster against Tottenham. The fiery Hughes is hoping to use this jarring moment to jolt his squad.

[ PREVIEW: Tuesday’s Premier League action ]

“That is still resonating. It’s good we have a game because it is still fresh in their ears probably, and they can use it as a motivating factor,” said Hughes during his pre-match press conference.

“You either suck it up and do ­something about it or you go under, and we can’t accept players like that. I don’t feel we have players like that.”

With managers nowadays often reaching into the excuses barrel as they hope to save their own skins, Hughes refuses to do just that, instead placing the decision firmly on the players shoulders, telling them they are the only ones who can save the club.

“Maybe some hadn’t ­confronted that before – but sometimes you need a reality check, and understand how our results and ­performances affect people,” Hughes said. “When people criticize you, you have to grow a thick skin in this industry. If you don’t, you’re in the wrong place.”

Louis van Gaal calls Mourinho’s United “far more boring”

Getty Images
Leave a comment

Louis Van Gaal has picked just the right time to pipe up.

The former Manchester United manager, who took flak while in charge for his side being hideous to watch, has now taken shots of his own at his successor Jose Mourinho, kicking Manchester United while they’re down after a 2-1 derby defeat at home.

The Dutchman told Fox Sports Netherlands, “If you ask me how did I do at United, I will say it was my best year ever, given the circumstances I was working under. We played football that was quite alright. But it’s not football that is appreciated in England. And yet, right now, looking at United, I have to conclude Mourinho is not being criticized while it’s far more boring football.”

[ PREVIEW: Premier League Tuesday matches, including Chelsea vs. Huddersfield ]

Van Gaal was blasted consistently for playing a boring style, especially in front of the home crowd, and now Mourinho is being criticized for the same concept. Mourinho was denounced for similar reasons while in charge of Chelsea, but with the club winning multiple titles under his leadership, the noise was always less while the team was winning. With Manchester United still unable to crack the top 4, Mourinho is feeling the heat.

“What United produce now is defensive football,” van Gaal said. “I always played attacking football. The proof is that the opposition were always parking the bus. They don’t do that now because Jose Mourinho plays so defensive.”

To van Gaal’s point, Manchester United is seventh in the Premier League in possession, holding 51% possession this season. They were out-possessed by Manchester City 65-35 at Old Trafford over the weekend. Meanwhile, van Gaal’s last full season with Manchester United, the 2015/16 season, saw the Red Devils hold 54%, which ranked third in the Premier League, just a percentage point behind leaders Arsenal. However, van Gaal’s United ranked 15th in the Premier League in total shots, while Mourinho’s United this season ranks sixth at this point.

Van Gaal made sure to point out he prefers their cross-town rivals.

“I would rather watch City play than United. You need quality in a squad and it’s clear City have a better squad.”

Conte blames fatigue for dip in Chelsea form

Getty Images
Leave a comment

Antonio Conte has figured out what is plaguing his Chelsea side as they sit 14 points back of Premier League leaders Manchester City.

“I think when you play every three days, it is impossible to have a training session and to work on the physical aspects,” Conte said in his pre-match press conference as the Blues get set to play Huddersfield Town on Tuesday. “It’s impossible. It’s impossible because you have to prepare with the players for a game every three days.”

Chelsea has yet to find itself eliminated from a single competition, drawn against Barcelona in the Champions League while navigating fixtures across all four competitions.

And yet, this is nothing new for Conte. The Blues boss is more than familiar with fixture congestion, having taken charge of Juventus and regularly competing at a high level on multiple fronts. In 2012/13, he won the Serie A title, won the Supercoppa Italia, and reached the quarterfinals of the Champions League.

However, this is new for Conte at Chelsea. Last season, the Blues did not take part in a European competition thanks to their disastrous season the previous year. While they reached the FA Cup final, they were knocked out of the EFL Cup in the 4th round.

“We have to try to do our best,” Conte said. “For sure, some players can be tired, that’s normal because some players are playing from this summer and our tours in China and Singapore. It’s normal. But I repeat we have to find the best solution. We have to find more rotations. I’m doing this, we will try and do our best with hunger and desire. We will fight.”

As an example, Conte said Alvaro Morata will miss the match on Tuesday against Huddersfield Town due to fatigue, with the Spaniard battling a slight back injury. “Morata is out. He is a bit tired and he has a problem in his back.