Newcastle United's Papiss Cisse (L) is c

Shipped from abroad, England: League clearly irrelevant for Chelsea, Liverpool … Newcastle?

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Argue that Liverpool’s potential trophy haul (two) offsets their league swoon and you’ll likely finds new friends from Chelsea’s camp. The Blues’ disappointing home display on Wednesday almost assures they’ll finish outside the top four for the first time in 10 years. But they’re in the Champions League final, so I guess that doesn’t matter. They lost 2-0 at Stamford Bridge. Who cares?

Judging by Roberto di Matteo’s selection, he doesn’t. At least, it seems he came to grips with losing before the opening whistle. With Saturday’s FA Cup final on the horizon, Chelsea’s manager made it very clear who’ll be selected for Wembley. Didier Drogba sat. Frank Lampard sat, as did Ashley Cole and Juan Mata. John Terry played, but that’s only because Chelsea’s central defenders are nearly all tapped out. As always, Fernando Torres starting was the biggest indicator of Chelsea’s intent (no, a hat trick against QPR doesn’t change that).

But here we are, three paragraphs into an England update, and we’ve failed to mention to whom Chelsea lost. Newcastle got two more goals from Papiss Demba Cisse (who, by my erroneous count, is up to 102 goals in 14 games since moving from Freiburg), and their fifth place position (tied for fourth with Spurs, on points) justifies more than the passing phase or patronizing analysis they’ve been treated to all year. Though they still have to navigate an impending meeting with Manchester City to pose a serious challenge to Spurs, Newcastle has locked up a place in Europe, something few pegged them for before the season.

Back then, nobody had can of chestnuts to crack open for the Magpies. Who is this Yoann Cabaye guy? From Lille? He’s certainly no Joe Cole. And they’ll have to resort to Tim Krul in net? Oh, my. I’ve got nothing to say about him. Demba Ba’s their striker? Well, he couldn’t keep West Ham up. They’ll do well to survive. (Full disclose, I picked them eighth, so I both resemble this and am gloating.)

Given how much media on each side of the pond has relied on the “Moneyball” crutch for content, Newcastle should really be getting more column inches. Or whatever column inches are in the digital world. Within the last two years they’ve let Andy Carroll, Jose Enrique, Kevin Nolan, and Joey Barton go. In their place  they’ve looked abroad for value buys – players who can use Newcastle as a shop window and a foot in the door of English soccer. Ba, Cisse, Cabaye, Chiek Tiote, Gabriel Obertan, Davide Santon, Hatem Ben Arfa’s combined transfer fees come in at £5 million less than Andy Carroll’s.

In fairness, it’s difficult to trump a victor’s virtues when their opposition’s not giving their best effort. And given major media’s need to generate hits and keep promises to their advertisers, it’s no surprise that the six big boys have relegated the Magpies success to blogs and social media. Site stats bare it out: Few people go to major sites for Magpie content. Even as Newcastle looks set to spend the season’s last days fighting for a Champions League spot, only the insatiable soccer consumer is digging for more stories about the Toon. Then again, they’re insatiable.

Most sites are more interesting in looking at Chelsea and Liverpool and debating the significance of a league most see as being wrapped up on Monday. Today, Chelsea revealed their view, ting to rest the heart of their team ahead of a cup final. Yesterday, Liverpool’s latest step toward mediocrity made their feelings clear.

But if you want a real measure of how little placement in this season’s table matters, search for the adulates greeting Newcastle’s rise. Don’t waste too much time, though. Aside from the devoted fan blog or the subtly irony a mainstreamer is using to provide counter-narrative (wink), you’re unlikely to find them.

Elsewhere in England

Tuesday’s results
Liverpool 0-1 Fulham
Stoke City 1-1 Everton

Wednesday’s results
Chelsea 0-2 Newcastle
Bolton 1-4 Tottenham

Races

Champions League: Manchester City (83 points/36 games), Manchester United (83/36), Arsenal (66/36), Tottenham (64/36)*

Europa League: Newcastle (64/36) (Liverpool has already qualified by virtue of winning the League Cup; Chelsea has qualified by virtue of making the FA Cup final)

Survival (relegation): Aston Villa (37/36), Wigan (37/36), QPR (34/36), Bolton (34/36), Blackburn (31/36)

* – if Chelsea wins Champions League, they take Spurs’ spot in the 2012-13 tournament, relegating Tottenham to Europa.

Stuff that stuck out:

  • With the loss, Chelsea sits sixth, leaving the fight for fourth to Tottenham and Newcastle. A week ago Spurs were thought to be conceding fourth to the Magpies, but seemingly seconds before the specter of the England national team chalice stopped hovering over Harry Redknapp, Tottenham start winning.
  • Bolton’s games in hand are now used up, and they sit 18th and close out the season with winnable matches against West Brom and (at) Stoke. QPR hosts Stoke before visiting the Etihad. Don’t sleep on Villa. They’re winless in eight, and led by the most dispiriting manager in the Premier League, they’re far from safety.
  • Peter Crouch’s Tuesday opener may have been for the wrong team, but it was still the 10,000the goal in Premier League history. Which means nothing.
  • Papiss Demba Cissé scored both goals at Stamford Bridge, including this … this-ness. Uhhhh …
  • Fortresses aren’t made like they’re used to. Or, at least, teams are less interested in erecting them than they’re used to. Both Liverpool and Chelsea must in a couple of “meh” performances mid-week, something you can’t really fault them for in light of Saturday’s stakes. It’s still a bit strange seeing them not only lose but also be blanked.

Up next: Two huge matches this weekend: Saturday’s FA Cup final and Sunday’s visit to Newcastle from Manchester City. We’ll probably do some offshore drilling on each.

More packages – check out previous shipments from abroad.

VIDEO: T&T women’s team gives away one of the most bizarre PKs

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Play until you hear the referee’s whistle. In theory, so simple. In practice, it only takes a single second of concentration lapse to become an internet sensation for all the wrong reasons.

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Such is life for Karyn Forbes, member of the Trinidad and Tobago women’s national soccer team. In the above video, you’ll observe Forbes, a 24-year-old midfielder, giving away perhaps the most bizarre penalty kick you’ll ever see. You’ll have to watch for yourself to believe it.

[ MORE: USWNT opens Olympic qualifying with 5-0 victory ]

Unfortunately for Forbes, though the whole of the ball might have crossed the whole of the end line, the referee did not blow her whistle… not until Forbes picked the ball up with her hands and carried it to her goalkeeper.

Bundesliga to go ahead with video replay tests over two years

FILE - In this Saturday, Dec. 8, 2012, file photo, a Hawk-Eye camera is set up at Toyota stadium in Toyota. For the first time at a World Cup, technology will be used to determine whether a ball crosses the goal line during matches at the upcoming tournament in Brazil. With vanishing spray also being used to prevent encroachment by defenders making up a wall during free kicks, officials at the highest level of the world’s most popular sport are finally getting some assistance. (AP Photo/Shuji Kajiyama)
AP Photo/Shuji Kajiyama
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BERLIN (AP) The German Football League (DFL) has given the go-ahead for the possible testing of video replays in the Bundesliga over a two-year pilot phase.

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The DFL says it will be lodging an application with FIFA to take part if the pilot phase is approved by the International Football Association Board at its next annual general meeting on March 5.

The DFL says video replays could be used by a “team of impartial match officials for the purpose of avoiding any evidently incorrect decisions” and that the pilot phase would be preceded by “intensive preparations.”

[ MORE: 17-year-old American MF Pulisic gets Bundesliga debut for Dortmund ]

These would include the settlement of costs among FIFA, the IFAB, the DFL and German football federation, as well as training for the candidates.

West Ham extend Payet’s contract in “enormous show of faith”

West Ham’s Dimitri Payet celebrates after scoring while soap bubbles are blown during the English Premier League soccer match between West Ham and Newcastle at Boleyn Ground in London, Monday, Sept. 14, 2015.(AP Photo/Frank Augstein)
AP Photo/Frank Augstein
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West Ham United hope Dimitri Payet is going absolutely nowhere after the club announced on Thursday the 28-year-old Frenchman has signed a contract extension through the summer of 2021.

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Payet’s current contract was scheduled to keep him at the Premier League club through the summer of 2020, but a series of standout performances (6 goals, 4 assists so far this season, mostly during the season’s opening three months) and rumors of interest from “bigger” clubs meant tacking on another year — and plenty more cash — was the best way to keep Payet in east London for the foreseeable future. The club confirmed earlier this week that negotiations over an extension were underway.

“He’s the best player I’ve signed in 25 years,” said West Ham co-owner David Sullivan. “He’s a [$43 million] player. He’s a supreme footballer. He makes every player in our side play better. On his day, he’s world class, he’s unstoppable.”

Payet, who’s been at West Ham just eight months after signing last summer, could still depart in the summer should he finish the current season strong and/or show up and show out at the European Championship, which kicks off in June. In that event, West Ham would now bag a much heftier transfer fee than they would have done prior to the extension.

VIDEO: Dele Alli’s magnificent juggling goal recreated in hand-drawn crayon

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Remember that Dele Alli goal? No, not that one… that one. Of course you remember it. How could you not?

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How often does a player receive the ball out of the air, flick it over his head, spin 180 degrees and hit an inch-perfect volley from 20 yards out to secure all three points for his team? The answer is, of course, not very often.

[ MORE: Top 5 Premier League storylines — Sunday’s top-four battle royal

Thus, a goal such as Alli’s stunning winner against Crystal Palace last month has been, and will continue to be, immortalized through numerous recreations in this Digital Age. Above is Alli’s goal recreated in hand-drawn crayon.