Snap Judgments: Quick reactions to Wednesday’s UEFA Champions League results

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Three huge upsets on Champions League Wednesday fulfilled yesterday’s promises. In the process, English Premier League teams took a big hit. Arsenal and Manchester City’s losses combined with Chelsea’s defeat in Donetsk left Manchester United as England’s only mid-week winner.

Spanish and German teams combined for six wins in seven games, the only loss coming when the leagues’ champions faced off in Dortmund. English and Italian teams? One win in five games.

Group A

Porto 3-2 Dynamo Kyiv – Give credit to Dynamo, because this game wasn’t supposed to be this competitive. After Porto beat Paris Saint-Germain at home on matchday two, their visit from Ukraine’s runners up was expected to go smoothly. Oleh Blokhin’s team had different ideas, equalizing twice before Jackson Martínez’s second goal of the night gave Porto three points.

What a signing the Colombian’s turned out to be, scoring eight times in 10 appearances since moving from Mexico this summer.

Dinamo Zagreb 0-2 Paris Saint-Germain – On Monday, Carlo Ancellotti called for big games from Jeremy Menez and Javier Pastore. Menez responded with a goal and an assist. Pastore registered a helper of his own. Up two at intermission, the Parisians were never threatened, putting forth what’s become a typical, controlling PSG performance.

Impact – Porto stays perfect and on top of the group with only their 1-0 win on matchday two separating them from PSG. Dynamo Kyiv looks like the clear third-best team, but they’ve gotten their two hardest matches out of the way (at Porto, at PSG on matchday one). Playing better under Oleh Blokhin, they can still be a factor.

Group B

Arsenal 0-2 Schalke – An amazingly inept performance from Arsenal, who showed none of the qualities that fuel their reputation for playing one of the most attractive (and successful) styles in the world. They were bad, and Schalke took advantage. Klaas-Jan Huntelaar put them in front near the hour mark, with Ibrahim Afellay’s late goal ensuring Arsenal’s doom.

Montpellier 1-2 Olympiacos – A good performance by Montpellier was left unrewarded when substitute Konstantinos Mitroglou gave Olympiacos their first lead in second half stoppage time. The Greeks managed only two shots on frame, but both got past Laurent Pionnier. Montpellier held the lead and 63 percent of the possession but are left empty handed.

Impact – Arsenal could very well rebound in Gelsenkirchen, but Wednesday result puts Schalke in the driver’s seat. A draw in Germany and they likely win this group. The Gunners may have to be more worried about Olympiacos. With a loss in Germany, Arsenal bring the Greek champions into frame for second, with a trip to Pireaus still on the schedule.

Group C

Málaga 1-0 Milan – A dull game fell to the Andalusians when Joaquin made up for a missed penalty kick with a second half winner. Max Allegri’s shift to a 3-4-3 formation worked to limited degree, limiting Málaga to two shots, though his team is still unable to find ay consistency in attack. Except the rumors about Allegri’s job security to persist.

Zenit 1-0 Anderlecht – This was the absolute minimum Zenit should have expected against a team that still hasn’t scored in the competition. The Russians again failed to show their potential. If it weren’t for a Milan Jovanovic transgression, Aleksandr Kerzahkov wouldn’t have been able to win it from the spot in the second half.

Impact – We didn’t learn anything about Group C. We knew Málaga were the best team. We knew Milan was probably next in line. Though today’s results keep Zenit close enough to matter, it’s hard to get too excited about a team playing so poorly.

Group D

Borussia Dortmund 2-1 Real Madrid – Breakthrough. Huge breakthrough for Jurgen Klopp’s team. They got a thoroughly deserved three points from one of the world’s elite teams, in the process making their 2011 group stage results off limits. No more “can they step up” analyses. Borussia Dortmund not only beat Real Madrid, they outplayed them. Thoroughly.

More: Breaking down BVB’s big day against Real Madrid.

Ajax 3-1 Manchester City – Congratulations are due Ajax, who score the biggest win of the Frank de Boer era, but Roberto Mancini deserves all the criticism he’s destined to receive. Beyond having the vastly more talented team, he didn’t have his players ready to match Ajax’s intensity. They were second best all night, and for a team that aspires to be a major factor in Europe, the performance was not only unacceptable, it played into the perception Mancini is not a good coach for this competition.

Impact – With Dortmund stepping up and City faltering, BVB and Real Madrid are destined to advance. It’s just a matter of deciding who wins the group.

Wigan player races off for son’s birth after scoring 2 goals

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WIGAN, England (AP) It was better than a hat trick.

A player for English soccer team Wigan had a night to remember when he scored his second goal before dashing off the field and to the local hospital, where his girlfriend was in labor.

[ MORE: Chelsea advances to UCL Round of 16 after win over Qarabag ]

A picture of Ryan Colclough holding his new-born baby, Harley, while still in his soccer uniform was shared on social media by Wigan chairman David Sharpe.

Colclough said his father, sitting in the stands on Tuesday for Wigan’s 3-0 win over Doncaster in the second division, “gave me the action that the waters had broken,” but he didn’t want to come off until the ball was out of play.

“My head was a little bit battered, but I went and scored, looked at the manager and he said we’ll bring you off now,” Colclough said Wednesday of his 58th-minute goal, which he celebrated by pretending to rock a baby. “I came off and was straight down the tunnel, grabbed my keys and my phone, and went to hospital.”

Colclough had visited the midwife that day, and was told the baby was unlikely to arrive for “another couple of days.”

Lille suspends coach Marcelo Bielsa

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LILLE, France (AP) French club Lille has provisionally suspended coach Marcelo Bielsa following a string of poor results in the top tier.

[ MORE: Basel stuns Man United late to keep UCL hopes alive ]

The northern side said in a statement that Bielsa has been suspended “as part of a procedure started by the club.” Lille did not elaborate.

Bielsa joined Lille this season but has failed to make the club competitive again, with the team second to last after 13 matches.

The 2 Robbies podcast: PL sides in the UCL, Pulis sacking and more

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In today’s Euro Pod Edition, the Robbies breakdown the latest Champions League action. Man United lose at Basel, Chelsea cruise at Qarabag, Spurs impress against Dortmund, Man City continue to win, Liverpool surrender a 3-goal lead against Sevilla. Plus, the guys weigh in on the Oumar Niasse ban for diving and the Tony Pulis sacking.

Join Earle & Mustoe on The 2 Robbies Football Show, Saturdays at 5pm ET. Listen on the NBCSports Radio App and call 855-323-4622 in the U.S. for lively passionate debate.

All of the The 2 Robbies content can be accessed by clicking on this link:

Click here for The 2 Robbies archive ]

Listen to the latest pod by clicking play below.

Follow them on Twitter @The2Robbies

Europa League preview: Arsenal looks to wrap up Group H and more

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While several teams have already booked their place in the knockout phase, the Europa League reaches its penultimate round on Thursday with many big matches in hand.

[ MORE: Yannick Bolasie finally returns to Everton training ]

Of the two Premier League sides in the competition, only one will advance to the Round of 32, as Arsenal have all but assured themselves of the top spot in Group H. The Gunners can do so tomorrow with a win over Koln or a Red Star Belgrade defeat.

The other end of the spectrum features Everton, who has already been eliminated from reaching the next round after acquiring just one point in its first four matches.

European giants AC Milan can lock up a spot in the knockout phase on Thursday despite the club’s ongoing struggles in Serie A, while fellow Italian side Atalanta can move a step closer to the Round of 32 in Group E along with Lyon.

Here’s the full rundown of Thursday’s UEL matches.

Astana vs. Villareal — 11 a.m. ET
Konyaspor vs. Marseille — 1 p.m. ET
Rosenborg vs. Real Sociedad — 1 p.m. ET
Lazio vs. Vitesse — 1 p.m. ET
Viktoria Plzen vs. Steaua Bucuresti — 1 p.m. ET
Lokomotiv vs. Copenhagen — 1 p.m. ET
Zenit vs. Vardar — 1 p.m. ET
Red Bull Salzburg vs. Vitoria — 1 p.m. ET
Athletic Bilbao vs. Hertha Berlin — 1 p.m. ET
BATE vs. Red Star Belgrade — 1 p.m. ET
Ostersund vs. Zorya — 1 p.m. ET
Koln vs. Arsenal — 1 p.m. ET
Nice vs. Zulte Waregem — 1 p.m. ET
Lugano vs. Beer-Sheva — 1 p.m. ET
Ludogorets vs. Istanbul — 3:05 p.m. ET
Braga vs. Hoffenheim — 3:05 p.m. ET
AEK vs. Rijeka — 3:05 p.m. ET
AC Milan vs. Austria Wien — 3:05 p.m. ET
Lyon vs. Apollon — 3:05 p.m. ET
Maccabi Tel Aviv vs. Slavia Praha — 3:05 p.m. ET
Sheriff vs. Zlin — 3:05 p.m. ET
Partizan vs. Young Boys — 3:05 p.m. ET
Skenderbeu vs. Dynamo Kyiv — 3:05 p.m. ET
Everton vs. Atalanta — 3:05 p.m. ET