Sweden's Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who scored four goals, celebrates after their international friendly soccer match against England at the Friends Arena in Stockholm

Without Ibrahimovic, PSG can’t beat nine-man Stade Rennes

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If you were looking to catch Zlatan Ibrahimovic in action after his mid-week spectacle, you were out of luck. ‘Ibra’ was suspended on for Paris Saint-Germain’s Saturday match against Stade Rennes.

Yes, I was also surprised to learn this wasn’t legal:

I guess you can only get away with that in a World Cup final.

Ibra got a two-match ban, the first game illustrating just how important he’s become to his new team. PSG struggled to a 1-1 draw with 14th place Montpellier, and result that looked worlds better after the Parisians’ performance on Saturday.

MORE: Ibra? Or … Michael Bradley?

Hosting surging Rennes, PSG was given an early gift. After the teams had traded early goals, goalkeeper Benoit Costil saw red for taking down Jeremy Menez (who later had to leave with a leg injury). Returning the favor, PSG set up a terrible wall on a 34th minute free kick, allowing Rennes’ Julian Féret to curve his shot around the wall and past Salvatore Sirigu.

Given the Parisians’ talents, the 2-1 halftime deficit seemed a minor inconvenience, particularly with Rennes determined to have the last laugh in the teams’ battle of stupid offenses. Early in the second, midfielder Jean Makoun’s ill-advised foul on Nene (going through the back of the PSG attacker) drew a second yellow card, leaving Rennes to play out the final 40 minutes with nine men. Surely, even an Ibrahimovic-less PSG – a team that had Ezequiel Lavezzi, Javier Pastore, Nene, Guillaume Hoarau and Kevin Gamiero on the field at match’s end – could find a way to get two goals against nine men.

They didn’t even get one, allowing a nine-man Rennes to take three points from the Parc de Princes, extended PSG’s winless streak to three. Now wins from any of Marseille, Lyon, Saint-Etienne, Valenciennes or Bordeaux will cost PSG Ligue 1’s top spot. If the planets align, Carlo Ancelotti’s team will be in fifth come Monday morning.

All of which brings us back to Ibrahimovic. Ibra has 10 goals in as many league appearances since moving to France, but the rest of the team’s only scored nine goals despite play three games without him. With all the money PSG’s spent over the last two years, who would have thought they’d end up a one-man team?

MORE: You can win Ibra’s four-goal boots.

When Ibra’s out, however, PSG’s a zero man team, one incapable of besting a nine-man side at home. It makes you wonder what would become of PSG’s season is the 31-year-old Swede got hurt.

Fortunately for the Parisians, Ibrahimovic has been very durable. Since moving from the Dutch league to Italy in 2004, Ibrahimovic has averaged 31 league games per year, never appearing in fewer than 26.

Puksas Award finalists: Somehow absent is USWNT’s Carli Lloyd

Carli Lloyd, USWNT
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FIFA announced on Monday its three-man list of finalists for the 2015 Puskas Award, handed out each year to the player who scored the “most beautiful” goal of the past calendar year.

[ MORE: 2015 Ballon d’Or finalists ]

The three men up for this year’s honor are Alessandro Florenzi (WATCH HERE), Lionel Messi (WATCH HERE) and Wendell Lira (WATCH HERE) — all scorers of fantastically beautiful goals this year.

That means Carli Lloyd, who made the original list of nominees before being whittled down to just three, is shockingly tragically scandalously criminally not a finalist for this year’s award. Reminder: This is the goal we’re talking about.

[ MORE: Timbers reach first MLS Cup | Crew SC to host MLS Cup 2015 ]

So, here’s the case for Lloyd:

  • She scored from midfield
  • She scored the winner from midfield in a World Cup final
  • She scored the winner from midfield in a World Cup final to complete a hat trick
  • She scored the winner from midfield in a World Cup final to complete a hat trick in the 16th minute

How in the world is Carli Lloyd’s midfield goal to complete a 16-minute hat trick and win a World Cup final not a top-three goal of the year? You got some (more) explaining to do, FIFA.

Beckham group abandons latest plans for Miami MLS stadium

David Beckham
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All signs seemed to point toward an all-too-familiar outcome for the David Beckham-led investment group hoping to bring a Major League Soccer franchise to the city of Miami: another failed plan in their bid to build a brand new stadium.

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s MLS coverage ]

Earlier this month, newly-joined all-world sports executive Tim Leiweke warned that groups or individuals currently owning the various parcels of land surrounding the Miami Marlins’ baseball stadium, the latest site Miami Beckham United (MBU) had chosen, were making “unrealistic” demands and threatened to derail the project at that location.

Today, it’s been reported across South Florida that the group has altogether abandoned plans to build their stadium at that particular site. Miami city commissioner Francis Suarez confirmed that MBU were “moving in a different direction” — quotes from Local 10 News:

“It’s going to be withdrawn from the next agenda because the Beckham group has not acquired the private properties that are needed to construct the stadium on that site.”

“The residents expect us to hold these teams to the fire,” Suarez said. “A lot of times they’re financed by wealthy people and they want some sort of a public subsidy, which is very controversial as well, which is why we were going to take it to referendum.”

[ MORE: Timbers reach first MLS Cup | Crew SC to host MLS Cup 2015 ]

On Sunday, during halftime of the league’s Eastern Conference final, MLS commissioner Don Garber was asked about the Miami stadium situation, to which he responded, “We think Miami will be a great market. We found a reasonably good site. I’m confident that we’ll get something done there.”

MBU is reportedly being held to something of a deadline by the MLS board of governors, which meets every year ahead of MLS Cup, with this weekend’s sit-down thought of as a target date to have something concrete going forward. Meanwhile, Sacramento Republic FC, an MLS expansion hopeful currently playing in the USL (third division), announced last week they would be moving forward with building their brand new MLS-sized stadium, expansion bid or not.

“Goal” writer pitching a Jamie Vardy movie: But who would play Kaspar Schmeichel?

Jamie Vardy, Leicester City FC
AP Photo/Rui Vieira
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There are certainly already some comparisons between new Premier League record holder Jamie Vardy and fictional Santiago Munez from the “Goal!” movies.

But that isn’t going to stop “Goal” screenwriter Adrian Butchart from heading to Tinseltown and pitching the Vardy story as a basis for a new film, according to The Sun.

[ PL PLAYBACK: Vardy Party, and Costa out at Chelsea? ]

And he’s got a who’s who of young actors in mind for the role of Vardy.

From The Sun:

Butchart believes Hollywood A-listers Robert Pattinson, Andrew Garfield and Zac Efron all have potential to fill Vardy’s boots in a film version of his life.

Unfortunately, they don’t ask Butchart who should play Claudio Ranieri, or Ruud van Nistelrooy.

Fortunately, we’re here with our cast (The first one is easy):

Aaron Paul as Vardy.

Robert Downey, Jr. as Van Nistelrooy.

James Franco as Riyad Mahrez.

Tommy Lee Jones as Ranieri.

Ryan Gosling as Kaspar Schmeichel.

Liam Neeson as Nigel Pearson.

And Danny Drinkwater as himself.

Report says Impact will add 96-times capped Ivorian defender

Monaco's Bulgarian forward Dimitar Berbatov (L) challenges Montpellier's Ivorian defender Siaka Tiene (R) during the French L1 football match between Montpellier and Monaco at the Mosson stadium in Montpellier on September 24, 2014.   AFP PHOTO / BORIS HORVAT        (Photo credit should read BORIS HORVAT/AFP/Getty Images)
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The Eastern Conference’s second-stingiest team is looking to enhance its already-strong back line.

Joining MLS Best XI defender Laurent Ciman could be Siaka Tiene, a longtime international teammate of Didier Drogba on the Ivory Coast squad.

[ MORE: Timbers hold off Dallas | Crew advances past RBNY ]

The 96-times capped Tiene will be 34 when next season starts, but will have fresh legs having not played since last season ended for Montpellier.

MLSSoccer.com does the translation work for us:

A report from RDS.ca states that the Impact have signed 33-year-old left back Siaka Tiéné, an Ivory Coast international who boasts World Cup and African Cup of Nations experience.

Aside from Ciman, Ambroise Oyongo is the only Impact back currently under contract.

Tiene played relatively well last season, but was limited to just 17 appearances in Ligue 1.