Holy Eight-Spot! Chelsea’s 8-0 day at the races vs. Villa

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You got the feeling even Chelsea felt a little bad for the visitors by the end of this one, among the worst shellackings in Premier League history as the suddenly resplendent Blues roared in an 8-0 win over in-shock Aston Villa.

Chelsea really was in dazzling form, abetted surely by a young Aston Villa team that simply could not find its balance after conceding right away; Fernando Torres’ sensational header came just two minutes after kickoff.

By the time American goalkeeper Brad Guzan picked the ball from his net for the final time, Chelsea had zoomed from seventh to third place in the table – and still with a game in hand over the field due to that recent trip in Japan for the FIFA Club World Cup.

This was just the fifth time a Premier League team has won by eight or more goals, and it could have been even worse but for some of Guzan’s good work in goal. Yes, Guzan managed to the nearly impossible, having a “respectable” day in terms of skillful saves while allowing a hideous eight-spot.

(MORE: Narratives invert after Chelsea routs Aston Villa)

How The Guardian described it: “The goals plundered at will as Villa wilted. Such riotous victory will serve to spur on this side. Manchester United are still 11 points clear but Chelsea, risen from seventh back to third, boast a game in hand and an injection of form. They were irrepressible, an eight-goal margin hardly flattering.”

Other talking points here:

  • Was Guzan at fault on any of the eight? Not really, although the final shot blew by him suspiciously close. Another one came on a rebound the American ‘keeper left in a bad place, but it was off a point-blank shot that he did well to save in the first place.
  • He saved one of two Chelsea penalty kicks, so there’s that.
  • Guzan wasn’t the only American on the bad side of this lopsided crusher; U.S. defender Eric Lichaj was also in the Villa starting XI.
  • Seven different men scored for Chelsea. The last team to have as many scorers in a top-flight game in England: Liverpool, with eight men to find goal in a 9-0 win over Crystal Palace back in 1989.
  • Aston Villa has played in 3,936 top-flight games, yet this is the first time to have conceded eight goals. (Thanks to Opta Sports for those two little statistical gems.)
  • It’s not like Villa was reeling before this one. Paul Lambert’s young side was unbeaten in six straight coming into West London on Sunday.

Daly collapses during match, treated for heat illness

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HOUSTON (AP) Houston Dash forward Rachel Daly collapsed during the final minute of a National Women’s Soccer League match against the Seattle Reign as temperatures climbed into the 90s.

The 25-year-old Daly was stretchered off the field and taken to the hospital, where the team said she was being treated for heat illness.

The temperature at BBVA Compass Stadium was 92 degrees at the 3 p.m. kickoff. The Reign won 2-0.

[ MORE: Perisic talking with Man Utd? ]

The NWSL issued a statement that said the league had worked with the Dash before the season to schedule any afternoon games early in the year to help avoid heat issues. The teams took a hydration break late in the match.

“We will immediately review these measures to prevent this situation from occurring in the future,” the statement said.

Reign coach Laura Harvey posted to Twitter: “Proud of the team today. Some of the hottest conditions I’ve seen. Road games are tough but that was crazy.”

MLS roundup: Outrageous dive, posts doom ‘Caps; Ramirez stays red hot

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Six matches are in the books on a busy Saturday in Major League Soccer, and five of them finished 1-0.

How they got there? Much different stories. With the Cali Clasico still to play, let’s dig into the five that followed Seattle 1-0 Portland.

[ MORE: Perisic to Man Utd? ]


Vancouver Whitecaps 0-1 DC United

It’s especially difficult to win on the road in Major League Soccer, unless the hosts fritter away four good chances off the woodwork — including a Cristian Techera PK — and give away a spot kick of their own. Lamar Neagle converted the 61st offering after a sinister dive from Jose Guillermo Ortiz. He was taken off soon after, and is probably going to miss sometime when the DisCo is done with him. Outrageous.

New York Red Bulls 2-1 New England Revolution

Not one, not two, nor three, but four New England players saw a low cross slide by them for Daniel Royer to finish as New York came from behind to take all three points at Red Bull Arena. Cody Cropper committed a gaffe that allowed Bradley Wright-Phillips to equalize after a Lee Nguyen PK had put the Revs ahead early.

Colorado Rapids 1-0 Sporting KC

Homegrown defender and University of Denver product Kortne Ford has his first MLS goal, as the Rapids surprised the Western Conference leaders on Saturday. SKC outshot Colorado by nearly 20 attempts (Shoulder shrug emoji).

Minnesota United 1-0 Orlando City

There were questions as to whether NASL superstar Christian Ramirez could translate his game to Major League Soccer.

Yes. The answer is yes.

Ramirez has eight goals in 13 MLS matches, and should be hearing his name from a certain Bruce Arena around Gold Cup time. Those USMNT dreams of last season should come true.

Bobby Shuttleworth made six saves for his third shutout of the season. All have come at home.

Real Salt Lake 1-0 Philadelphia Union

Joao Plata keeps shooting, and the tiny Ecuadorian menace keeps scoring, too. His 36th minute goal was enough for the hosts at Rio Tinto.

Raiola: Zlatan to “100 percent” stay in Europe for two seasons

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic may be 35 and coming off major knee surgery, but that isn’t stopping suitors from lining up across Europe.

[ MORE: Perisic to Man Utd? ]

Ibrahimovic’s agent, Mino Raiola, says that MLS is not an option for the Swede over the next two seasons. From Sky Sports:

“Many clubs have asked for Zlatan. He can play two more years and will stay in Europe, 100 per cent.”

It would make sense for Ibrahimovic to stay around Manchester United, where he is admired by Jose Mourinho and coming off a season that showed he’s still capable of contributing at a high level.

But he remains beloved in Italy, and would be effective for most clubs in the Top 5 leagues should he return at even 75 percent of the Zlatan we’ve seen regularly.

Report: Manchester United, Inter Milan keen on Perisic deal

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Manchester United wants Ivan Perisic, and both the player and his current club are all about it.

Perisic, 28, is ready to leave Inter Milan, and the Serie A mainstays are happy to accept $46 million for his services according to Sky Sports.

[ MORE: No China for Costa ]

Primarily a left winger, Perisic moved to Inter from Wolfsburg at the start of the 2015-16 season. He scored 10 goals and added nine assists in Serie A play this season, and has kept up his production pace since moving from the Bundesliga to Italy.

United needs stars and depth for its Champions League campaign, and Perisic would buttress an attack with Marcus Rashford, Henrikh Mkhitaryan amongst others. He was a difference maker for Croatia at EURO 2016, and can do the same at Old Trafford.