Lionel Messi

Let’s just sit back and watch Lionel Messi score 91 goals

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Lionel Messi scored 91 goals in 2012, which is 68 more than the United States national team.

It was, quite simply, one of the more ridiculous outpourings of skill we’ve seen in the past decade. Or ever, really. Richard Farley went with the “Playstation” analysis, and I’m inclined to agree. Except I think if you asked someone to do what Messi does on the field on a Playstation, the gaming system would melt.

Luckily for us, we have the Internet, which produced a wonderful compilation of the little Argentine’s 2012 output. You may have seen it, you may not have seen it; either way, it’s worth watching again. It’s not like you’re doing actual work today.

One thing that always surprises me about these types of Messi-focused clips: The amount of goals he scores with his head. That fact, more than anything I think, shows what a ridiculous player he is. Not only does he have the best footskills in the game, but he has such a good sense of where the ball is going to be that the dude — who is tiny — always finds himself wide open for headers. And he has to be wide open because you know he’s not going to win the ball in the air against most 10th graders.

Watch below. To borrow a phrase from another young genius of sport, we are all witness.

Norwich City 2-2 West Ham United: Payet drags Irons out of first half hole

NORWICH, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 13: John Ruddy (L) of Norwich City catches the ball under pressure of Michail Antonio (C) of West Ham United during the Barclays Premier League match between Norwich City and West Ham United at Carrow Road on February 13, 2016 in Norwich, England.  (Photo by Stephen Pond/Getty Images)
Photo by Stephen Pond/Getty Images
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  • Payet shines again with goal, assist
  • Norwich blows 2-0 lead
  • Hammers move into fifth place

West Ham United overcame another sleepy first half, with goals from Dimitri Payet and Mark Noble leading the Irons back for a 2-2 draw versus Norwich City at Carrow Road on Saturday.

Robbie Brady and Wes Hoolahan scored to stake Norwich to a lead that looked set to boost them out of the drop zone, but the draw keeps them behind Newcastle on goal differential.

[ MORE: Watch full PL match replays ]

It was Brady who punished West Ham’s lackluster first 45 with a 20-yard laser in the 55th minute.

And after Slaven Bilic made a pair of attacking substitutions, Steven Naismith and Hoolahan made the Irons pay dearly for a partially blocked shot.

Naismith’s shot deflected into the 18, and Hoolahan was within a hair’s length of onside as he buried a low shot past Adrian. 2-0 on two shots on target. Wow.

[ MORE: Latest Premier League standings ]

[ MORE: Full lineups, stats, box score ]

A poor touch or bounce, your call, for Michail Antonio stopped West Ham from getting a breakaway goal as John Ruddy had time to parry Antonio’s rip in the 69th minute.

Payet pulled one back with a rebound goal 17 minutes in scheduled time, after Victor Moses caused a turnover and took a quick shot.

And the newly-extended Payet continued his season wizardry with great vision to spot Noble from the end line. It was 2-2 within minutes after Noble blasted his shot home.

Swansea City 0-1 Southampton: Sixth-straight shutout; Long’s header wins it

SWANSEA, WALES - FEBRUARY 13:  Southampton players celebrate their team's first goal by Shane Long (obscured) during the Barclays Premier League match between Swansea City and Southampton at Liberty Stadium on February 13, 2016 in Swansea, Wales.  (Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images)
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  • Saints now six games without conceding
  • Up to 6th, 1 point behind United in 5th
  • Swansea 3 points off bottom three

Southampton beat Swansea City 1-0 at the Liberty Stadium on Saturday with Saints recording their sixth-straight shutout and Shane Long heading home the winner 20 minutes from time.

A tight game played out in South Wales but the away team had the better chances and Long’s flick proved to be enough to seal a fifth win in their last six games for Ronald Koeman‘s side.

With the victory Saints climb to sixth place on 40 points, while Swansea remain on 28 points.

[ RELATED: Watch full match replays

The first real chance of the game fell to Graziano Pelle but his volley on goal was saved down low by Lukasz Fabianski after the goalkeeper initially missed a punch when he came charging out.

Saints had another chance early when James Ward-Prowse‘s teasing free kick was headed just wide by Jose Fonte at the back post.

[ VIDEO: Premier League highlights ]

The game then calmed down as Gyli Sigurdsson had an effort from distance which flew over and Ryan Bertrand‘s effort looped onto the top of the net. Saints looked dangerous on the break with Long having a shot blocked and Oriol Romeu twice being denied by brave Swansea defending.

Alberto Paloschi’s flick-on found Sigurdsson but he volleyed way over and then Long should’ve done better when unmarked six-yards out but headed straight at Fabianski.

[ RELATED: Latest Premier League standings ]

In the second half Saints continued to push forward as Romeu glanced a header wide and then Pelle had a goal disallowed as Fabianski appeared to drop the ball under the challenge of Fonte but the replay showed it was a poor decision by referee Jon Moss.

[ MORE: Full lineups, stats, box score

Saints did take the lead with 20 minutes to go as Ward-Prowse’s inch-perfect cross from the right found Long and he headed home into the corner as Fabianski failed to clear the ball away. 1-0 to Southampton and that’s how it finished with goalkeeper Fraser Forster keeping his sixth consecutive clean sheet since returning from injury.

A remarkable defensive run continues as Saints also continue to cement their spot in the top six.

Crystal Palace 1-2 Watford: Deeney adds to Eagles miserable run

LONDON, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 13: Troy Deeney of Watford celebrates scoring his team's first goal during the Barclays Premier League match between Crystal Palace and Watford at Selhurst Park on February 13, 2016 in London, England.  (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)
Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images
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  • Palace has lost 6 of 7
  • Deeney braces move Watford eighth
  • Adebayor scores for Eagles

Troy Deeney won and converted a PK, then scored a late winner as Watford took all three points from Selhurst Park in a 2-1 win on Saturday

Palace’s 2016 struggles continued, with Emmanuel Adebayor‘s equalizer going for naught. The Eagles now have one point in seven matches and continue their free fall down the PL table.

Papa Souare took a late red for a hard tackle, to add insult to Palace’s injury.

[ MORE: Watch full PL match replays ]

It took just a quarter-hour for Watford to seize the lead, as Mile Jedinak wrapped up Deeney with both arms, and the Hornets captain tumbled in the box to earn a PK he’d finish to make it 1-0.

But Palace equalized just before halftime, working hard to keep a long throw in play before crossing for Adebayor to put a looping header past Heurelho Gomes.

[ MORE: Latest Premier League standings ]

[ MORE: Full lineups, stats, box score ]

Adebayor could’ve made it 2-1 if not for a sweeping single leg save from Gomes after a dangerous Wilfried Zaha sent a low ball through the six.

With Palace looking okay to pick up another needed point, Deeney was Johnny-on-the-spot to trap and belt home an ineffective header from Damien Delaney.

Bournemouth 1-3 Stoke City: Potters punish Cherries

BOURNEMOUTH, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 13:  Joselu (2nd R) of Stoke City celebrates scoring his team's third goal with his team mates Ibrahim Afellay (1st L), Jonathan Walters (2nd L) and Dionatan Teixeira (1st R) during the Barclays Premier League match between A.F.C. Bournemouth and Stoke City at Vitality Stadium on February 13, 2016 in Bournemouth, England.  (Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images)
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  • Imbula nets 1st Stoke goal
  • Potters secure first win in 5
  • Cherries 4 points off bottom 3

Stoke City beat Bournemouth 3-1 at the Vitality Stadium on Saturday with the Potters starting strong and pouncing three times within the opening hour to secure their first win in five games.

Giannlli Imbula lashed in a superb volley for his first Stoke goal, then two goals in quick succession at the start of the second half put them 3-0 up with Ibrahim Afellay and Joselu scoring but to their credit Bournemouth kept plugging away with Matt Ritchie pulling one back and the Cherries going close on multiple occasions to making it 3-2.

Stoke held on in the end and the win moves them onto 36 points for the season, while Bournemouth remain on 28 points and are now just four points above the drop zone.

[ RELATED: Watch full match replays

A tense start saw both teams cancel each other out and then the game exploded into life in the 9th minute when Imbula volleyed home.

Stoke’s record $26 million signing latched onto a loose ball and volleyed home first time past Artur Boruc and into the far corner. 1-0 to the Potters.

[ VIDEO: Premier League highlights ]

Bournemouth responded well to going behind as Afobe was found in the box but he completely missed the ball. Stoke had another good chance but Jonathan Walters‘ effort went into the side-netting and Xherdan Shaqiri had another effort which struck Boruc and was cleared.

Stoke continued to push forward and Bournemouth struggled to contain them as Mame Diouf Walter and Shaqiri all went close to doubling the Potters’ lead. But Charlie Daniels did go close for Bournemouth as Jack Butland cleared away his effort which looked destined for the top corner, then Afobe went down on the edged of the box after contact from Marc Muniesa but no foul was given.

[ RELATED: Latest Premier League standings ]

At half time Bournemouth brought on Josh King and Matt Ritchie and came flying out of the traps but soon after Stoke were 2-0 up. Afellay doubled the Potters lead as Walters raced clear down the right and set up the Dutch attacker to stroke home.

[ MORE: Full lineups, stats, box score

Stoke made it 3-0 before the hour mark as Shaqiri danced down the right and clipped in a perfect ball for Joselu to head home. 3-0. Game over.

Or maybe not. King crossed and Ritchie slammed home to make it 3-1. A fine finish and hopes of a comeback were rising among the home fans.

Afobe flashed a volley just wide from close range and Ritchie almost bundled home another at the back post from King’s cross with the Cherries well on top late on. Junior Stanislas then somehow missed the ball at the back post after another superb cross from King as it was all Bournemouth.