FIFA Ballon d'Or Gala 2012

Random notes from Monday’s FIFA ceremony in Zurich

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Leave it to FIFA to create an hour of needless content around two revelations that could have been zipped up in about four minutes – and that’s with both acceptance speeches!

But never mind that. Abby Wambach won her first FIFA Women’s player of the Year honor (congrats!) and Leo Messi claimed his unprecedented fourth Ballon d’Or.

Yup … dancers, weird mascots, bad speeches (along with a few worthy moments, if should be said) all to find out that Messi had outdistanced Cristiano Ronaldo (the only real competition, it should be said) for the 2012 world honor.

(MORE: No suprises, as Leo Messi wins at unprecedented fourth)

Here are some other memorable moments and facts to consider (of the completely random nature):

Messi was not listed on 52 of the 508 official ballots. Fools. Just fools.

For the record, Ruud Gullit is the only former MLS manager to ever host a FIFA Ballon D’Or ceremony.

Sepp Blatter’s speech to open the ceremony would have raised indignant cries of “hypocrisy” or even “ignorance” … if it wasn’t just so comically bad.

If you’re interested, U.S. manager Jurgen Klinsmann voted Messi first, Andrea Pirlo second and Cristiano Ronaldo third. All the ballots are here.

If I find the man or woman who said, “Dancing! We need more dancing at the ceremony! … Maybe even some shirtless men throwing fake kung-fu!” … we are going to have words.

So as not to sound like a total FIFA basher, the video mash-up of former player of the year winners, which included some wonderful, old footage, was pretty sweet.

In case you were wondering, the man conducting interviews for FIFA’s official feed on the red carpet before Monday’s announcement thought U.S. women’s national team players Alex Morgan and Hope Solo were beautiful and were wearing beautiful dresses. He didn’t feel the need to say something similar about the handsome, fit and well-dressed men he interviewed. It seems that the sexist attitudes around world soccer’s governing body trickle down from the top.

I’m not quite sure what to say about Messi’s seriously fancy outfit. Polka dots, yo!

Speaking of wardrobe, here’s what blogger-funny man-good dude Shawn Francis said about Brazil’s Marta, who was up for Female Player of the Year: “Marta wearing Tina Turner’s dress from the Private Dancer tour, I see.” Good one, Shawn!

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s stunning goal against England wasn’t even among the nominees for FIFA Goal of the Year … which delegitimizes the award in my mind. No reason to even talk about it.

Spain’s Vicente Del Bosque was named Men’s Coach of the Year.

Former U.S. manager Pia Sundhage was named Women’s Coach of the Year.

Singing! Of course, there had to be singing!  At least one tune was of the unscripted variety, as Sundhage sang out a nice, quick little tribute to Alex Morgan and Wambach in the audience, essentially saying she was there because of players like them. A very nice touch. And very, uh, “Sundage.”

source:  Someone said the song was Olivia Newton John’s “If Not For You.” I cannot confirm this. And if I could, I certainly would not admit it.

Two-time Ballon D’Or winner and former Brazilian great Ronaldo (pictured) is only 36, but he has added so much weight, he is nearly unrecognizable.

Gullit, 49 minutes into the ridiculously, overly long ceremony: “The tension is mounting!” Uh, no … it really wasn’t. Whatever tension might have been linked into this one (truly, not so much) leaked about around the time the Brazil 2104 mascot went bouncing around on the stage. Or when Gullit put on a Gullit wig. (He really did that.) Or when some lady nobody knew sang a song nobody knew. Or when … oh, you get the message.

Serie A roundup: Fiorentina edges Chievo, Roma coughs up lead, Inter held

ROME, ITALY - AUGUST 20:  Kevin Strootman of AS Roma in action during the Serie A match between AS Roma and Udinese Calcio at Olimpico Stadium on August 20, 2016 in Rome, Italy.  (Photo by Paolo Bruno/Getty Images)
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An early header by Aston Villa loanee Carlos Sanchez gave Fiorentina its first win of the season in their home opener, a 1-0 result over Chievo Verona.

The Villa midfielder rose high above Dario Dainello to smash home the only goal of the match. Unfortunately, there was a catch as starting goalkeeper Ciprian Tatarusanu was forced off just before halftime with an injury. The 30-year-old Romanian international took a kick to the head and could not continue.

Roma was left highly disappointed after coughing up a 2-0 lead, finishing 2-2 on the road at Cagliari. Diego Pierotti gave the visitors the lead at Stadio Sant’Elia just six minutes in by slotting home a penalty. Just after halftime, Kevin Strootman doubled Roma’s lead with his first goal since February of 2014 by poking in Edin Dzeko‘s headed assist from point-blank range.

However, it would come undone. Marco Borriello would pull Cagliari back within one just 10 minutes after Strootman’s score by tapping in a rebound, and Marco Sau poked one in at the far post to equalize in the 87th minute, sending Roma back with just a point.

Frank de Boer’s debut at the San Siro ended in a 1-1 draw with Palermo as Mauro Icardi headed home completely unmarked in in the 72nd minute to cancel out Andrea Rispoli’s opener just after halftime.

Torino pummeled Bologna at home 5-1 behind a hat-trick from Andrea Belotti. The trio is the first hat-trick of the 22-year-old’s professional career. Josef Martinez and Daniele Baselli also found the scoresheet for Torino who earned their first points of the season.

Elsewhere, Udinese used a goal in the first five minutes and another late in stoppage time to beat 10-man Empoli 2-0. Genoa scored three goals in an 11-minute span early in the second half to top Crotone 3-1. Sassuolo grabbed all three points at home with a 2-1 defeat of Pescara. Finally, Sampdoria came back from an early deficit to top 10-man Atalanta 2-1. Fabio Quagliarella scored from the spot to level things up and Sampdoria grabbed the winner a minute before halftime behind Paraguayan Edgar Barreto.

La Liga roundup: Barcelona squeaks out win, Villarreal and Sevilla ends scoreless

SEVILLE, SPAIN - AUGUST 14:  Ivan Rakitic of FC Barcelona in action during the match between Sevilla FC vs FC Barcelona as part of the Spanish Super Cup Final 1st Leg  at Estadio Ramon Sanchez Pizjuan on August 14, 2016 in Seville, Spain.  (Photo by Aitor Alcalde/Getty Images)
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Barcelona rode a first-half header by Ivan Rakitic the whole way to their second win in two league matches with a 1-0 win over Athletic Bilbao.

Arda Turan delivered the all-important assist, lofting the ball in from the left as Rakitic came streaking in to trail the play and climb high to meet the ball. Marc-Andre ter Stegen stood tall in goal for the visitors to San Mames, making four saves including one off his face to keep a powerful shot by Benat out of net following an embarrassing mistake from the German that opened up the chance.

Sevilla failed to keep pace with Barcelona and the rest of the teams at the top, slumping to a 0-0 draw at Villarreal. The Rojiblancos couldn’t even muster a shot on target, weathering five from the hosts among 12 overall attempts on net. Both sides wasted chances with sloppy crosses and missed shots, with Villarreal coming closest on a goal called back for offsides just before halftime. A Mateo Musacchio header found substitute Rafael Borre at the back post but the young Colombian was just past his defender.

Nabil El Zhar scored a double and Kevin-Prince Boateng found the scoresheet as well as Las Palmas hammered Granada 5-1 at Estadio Gran Canaria. The newly promoted side has now won two games in two after their return to the Spanish top flight.

Deportivo Alaves and Sporting Gijon played to a 0-0 draw at Estadio Mendizorrotza in a match that featured just three combined shots on target.

MLS Snapshot: Portland Timbers 4-2 Seattle Sounders

PORTLAND, OR - APRIL 6: Darlington Nagbe #6 of Portland Timbers lifts Diego Valeri #8 of Portland Timbers into the air after Valeri scored a goal during the first half of the game against the Columbus Crew at Providence Park on March 6, 2016 in Portland, Oregon. (Photo by Steve Dykes/Getty Images)
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The match in 100 words or less: A rivalry is meant to be a two-way street, and it was just that, albeit in the most see-saw way possible. Portland scythed, carved, and sliced up the Seattle back line with fluid movement and set-pieces in the first half, working up a 4-0 lead, and then clung on for dear life in the second, ending up with a 4-2 win at Providence Park.

Three Four moments that mattered:

16′ – Just four minutes after a seemingly disastrous miss from Liam Ridgewell, the Timbers began quickly putting that in the rear-view mirror. Vytautas Andriuskevicius earned the opener as his towering header off a corner forced Stefan Frei to make a leaping save, but he could only tip it up into the crossbar and back down into the goal. The ball bounded back out, but the linesman made sure to flag that a goal had been scored, with replays showing the ball did clearly cross the line.

21′ – Fernando Adi doubled Portland’s lead from more handy work by Valeri. The Argentinian burst his way through defenders into the box and ripped off a shot. Frei made a solid save, but the rebound fell to Adi who held strong with the ball and finally stuck it into the back of the net from point-blank range. From there, the game was effectively over, and goals from Lucas Melano and Steven Taylor extended the lead further.

44′ – With the Timbers up 3-0 after a fabulous team goal finished off by Lucas Melano, they capped the first-half with yet another set-piece score. Ridgewell swung in a free-kick from the right, and Taylor contorted his body to meet the ball, redirecting a forceful header past Frei.

51′ – Just six minutes after the break, Seattle suddenly clawed themselves back into the game with a pair of goals. A shot from Andreas Ivanschitz forced an own-goal with a looping shot that smashed into the head of a Portland defender and past Jake Gleeson, and Jordan Morris followed that up minutes later when he met a long ball from Nicolas Lodiero with his head.

Man of the Match: Diego Valeri

Goalscorers: Andriuskevicius 16′, Adi 21′, Melano 29′, Taylor 44, Ivanschitz 47′, Morris 51′

PSG mistakes lead to 3-1 loss at Monaco

CHATILLON, ITALY - JULY 14:  Joao Moutinho of AS Monaco in action during the preseason friendly match between Queens Park Rangers and AS Monaco on July 14, 2015 in Chatillon, Italy.  (Photo by Valerio Pennicino/Getty Images)
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Paris Saint-Germain has lost for just the third time in Ligue 1 play the last 17 months as they fell 3-1 to AS Monaco.

Things began to fall apart just 13 minutes in when Djibril Sidibe somehow snaked a pass in between five defenders, and Joao Moutinho snatched the lead with an effort snuck inside the post.

It got worse for the visitors with just ticks to go before halftime as David Luiz hauled down Jemerson in the box. The Brazilian defender lept on the back of Jemerson on a free-kick, and while that went unpunished, Luiz nearly gave his countrymate a piggy-back ride, forcing the referee to act. Fabinho buried the penalty, putting PSG in a precarious position headed into the break.

The defending champions gave themselves a lifeline, with the struggling Edinson Cavani scoring a fine header, assisted by the head of Serge Aurier. The hope only lasted so long for Aurier and PSG, when the Ivory Coast international put the game away with an own-goal on the other end to put Monaco 3-1 up and end things at Stade Louis II. Sidibe made it happen again, chasing a long ball forward and diving at it for a shot attempt. Instead, the ball clipped parallel to the goal and off the legs of a chasing Aurier and past Kevin Trapp.

The loss sees PSG drop off the top of the table for the first time in a long time, falling a point back of Guingamp, Nice, and Monaco all on 7 points.