Look, an anti-soccer sermon! What, is it 1992 again?

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We reached a point somewhere along our grassy-pitch way that these anti-soccer sermons are just amusing.

Whereas I once just shook my head and moved along, now I feel a bit sorry for the dinosaurs who cannot see their own extinction. I mostly just pat them on their silly and fearful heads, figuratively so, and move on.

(I have long stopped defending soccer in any passionate way; I mostly just say “You like what you like, I’ll happily do the same.” Mostly. But since it’s meatless Monday, and that always puts me in a mood … )

Seriously, I could live 1,000 years and not fully understand why anyone devotes time, energy and effort to telling the rest of us why we should not like something.  Truth is, these dated and toxic discharges of anti-soccer venom aren’t for soccer fans. This is the fearful, anti-change faction of the Baby Boomer set, writing with wounded monotony in newspapers for the only people who still read newspapers: other Baby Boomers who like to believe that 1982 might just happen all over again. Good times!

With informed content providers, this kind of thing crumbled not long after the Berlin Wall. But not for Matt Zencey of the Philadelphia Inquirer, apparently.

Ever notice these things almost always come from an older, white, male baseball lovers?  Hmmmm.  Changing world … Evolving likes and dislikes in our own, wonderful country … Baseball as metaphor for “good old days syndrome.”  … Yes! There is something there.

At any rate, Zencey’s work checked all the usual boxes:

Vast over-generalization. Check.

Factual inaccuracy. (Usually in the lack of goals, assertions that scoreless draws are far more frequent than they are. Never mind the data, my man. Carry on.)

Helpful suggestions of rule changes. Check.

Sophomoric sarcasm disguised as actual description of the game. Yup …

The teams run around for an hour and a half and if the fans are lucky, their team may – hold your breath! – score a goal or two.

Zing! Good one, dude!

Other ignorant, America-centric ideas on how to improve a sport that’s doing just fine in almost every corner of the world (including our own, I say). Got it.

Ridiculously dated references to hooliganism and tragedy (like Andres Escobar’s horrible death), obtusely uninterested in the reality that every sport comes attached to a few darker elements. Check.

Zencey did provide some nod to the game’s continued growth and popularity. That represents some improvement, at least, from the typical exercise in convenient oblivion.

Still, it hit most of the usual tone-deaf notes. (He did miss the old “enlarging the goal” tender, a staple of the 1970s era helpful suggestions from American newspaper sporties.)

Should I mention quickly that all this was written after a very entertaining match at sold-out PPL Park in the man’s hometown, where the Union fell to Sporting Kansas City? A match the former Philly Inquirer editorial board member failed to attend. (Too bad, too. It honestly was quite a match.) That fact wasn’t lost on the Brotherly Game site that went to whuppin’ on Zencey.

I suppose the only thing more cliché than anti-soccer rants is … yes, guys like me who point out the nincompoopery of it all. But, so long as I’m at it, I have one more thing to say:

By the way, dude … soccer will be around in this country far, far longer than your newspaper industry in its current incarnation. But you probably know that.

Transfer Rumor Roundup: Aurier to Man United; Wilshere to West Ham

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The Independent is reporting that Manchester United is set to make a move for Serge Aurier with a deal for Monaco’s Fabinho taking too long to finalize.

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Aurier, 24, is a powerful defender who can play at right back or center back and he has excelled for Paris Saint-Germain in recent seasons despite issues off the field as he was fond guilty of assaulting a police officer in Paris and was also suspended by PSG for allegedly mocking teammate Angel di Maria and then manager Laurent Blanc in a periscope session.

The Ivory Coast international is said to be available for $31 million, with PSG and Real Madrid in the running for Fabinho as his price is now said to have rocketed to past $51.9 million.

Jose Mourinho has been speaking about the spiraling costs for “good players” and not “big players” as said he may now have to settle for three new signings than the four he targeted at the start of the summer. With Romelu Lukaku and Victor Lindelof coming in for over $135 million combined, United were said to have been agonizingly close with a deal for winger Ivan Perisic and a move for Chelsea’s Nemanja Matic is also said to still be a possibility.

Quick, strong and an all-out defender, Aurier is a solid Mourinho player. Antonio Valencia had a fine 2016-17 season but he will soon be 32 years old, so United have to look for other options at right back with both Matteo Darmian and Timothy Fosu-Mensah not doing enough to usurp Valencia last season.

All in all, this seems like a sensible solution rather than breaking the back for Fabinho who can play at both right back and as a holding midfielder.


The Daily Star claim that Arsenal have told West Ham United they’ll have to pay $28 million for Jack Wilshere and insert a buy-back clause in any deal.

Wilshere, 25, spent last season on loan at Bournemouth and although he impressed in spells he ended the season with yet another injury after suffering a left leg fracture against Tottenham Hotspur in April.

The academy product has 12 months left on his current contract and his future at Arsenal remains uncertain with Serie A side Sampdoria also said to be interested in his services, but is now the time for Wilshere to move on permanently?

Once the greatest hope of the English national team, Wilshere’s career has been ravaged by injuries and although Arsene Wenger rates him highly (hence the buy-back clause report) the Gunners have Granit Xhaka, Aaron Ramsey, Francis Coquelin, Santi Cazorla and Mohamed Elneny in central midfield.

With Arsenal having a Europa League campaign this season perhaps Wilshere will get plenty more games with the Gunners under his belt to try and impress, but surely he wants to be playing week in, week out in the Premier League.

His England teammate Joe Hart just signed for West Ham and with the Hammers’ rivalry with Arsenal not as intense as other London neighbors Spurs and Chelsea, this deal may work. If not permanently then on a season-long loan, but Wenger was very specific about Wilshere joining Bournemouth for the style of soccer Eddie Howe‘s men play. Under Slaven Bilic West Ham aren’t a free-flowing side but at this point Wilshere’s options in the PL seem limited.

The next 12 months are critical in shaping the rest of his career. We’ve said that many times before, but it feels like now or never for the talented central midfielder.

West Ham agree deal for Javier Hernandez

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Chicharito is heading back to the Premier League.

On Thursday West Ham United revealed they had agreed a deal with Bayer Leverkusen for the Mexico striker who will now undergo a medical and agree personal terms.

Hernandez, 29, reportedly had a $18 million release clause in his contract. If that’s correct, this is a bargain for West Ham.

Below is the statement released by the Hammers.

“West Ham United and Bayer Leverkusen have agreed terms for the transfer of Javier Hernandez to London Stadium.

“The former Manchester United and Real Madrid striker will fly to London in the coming days to finalise personal terms and undergo a medical with the Hammers.”

Hernandez became Mexico’s all-time leading goalscorer in May and the former Manchester United forward won two Premier League titles with the Red Devil’s during a five-year spell at Old Trafford before leaving for Leverkusen in the summer of 2015.

West Ham has lacked a clinical goalscorer for some time and now they have one.

Lukaku or Morata; who got the better deal?

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Romelu Lukaku or Alvaro Morata, who ya got?

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It’s one of the biggest questions swirling around after Chelsea agreed a $92 million fee with Real Madrid for striker Alvaro Morata on Wednesday, who has arrived in London and called Chelsea “the best club” for him.

He also admitted he has no idea how close he came to signing for Manchester United and Morata could have easily ended up at United and Lukaku at Chelsea, but the opposite is now true as both Premier League giants have acquired clinical strikers who will be the focal point of their respective attacks.

Both Morata and Lukaku have the potential to be the two best out-and-out strikers in the world for many years to come.

[ MORE: Lukaku promises goals for Man United

In terms of who got the better deal, financially both players will end up costing a very similar amount with the fee for Lukaku set to rise to $96.5 million and Morata’s fee just below that. Both players are 24 years of age, and both have very similar skill sets which is understandable given why both United and Chelsea went for them.

So, all square there.

In terms of Premier League experience Lukaku obviously had the edge with the Belgian now playing four full seasons in the PL, while Morata has only played in Spain and Italy. Lukaku is much more likely to hit the ground running as he knows what to expect and is settled in England.

That said, Morata’s experience in the UEFA Champions League is vastly superior to Lukaku’s and the Spanish international also has 13 trophies (including two UCL trophies) to his name already. Lukaku may have more experience in England, but Morata has more experience in elite club competitions and has scored crucial goals in title-winning seasons for both Real and Juve.

Looking at the way both of the players will fit into their teams, it’s difficult to argue that they’re not well suited to both the system and personnel around them.

Lukaku has had many seasons as a lone front man but he could play up top alongside Marcus Rashford which may actually benefit him with someone to work off of and a little more space for him to work in.

Morata will be a lone forward in Chelsea’s attack, but he is flexible and able to play out wide or drop a little deeper when needed and that will work well with Eden Hazard, Pedro and Willian buzzing around in support. Both of these players are more than a target man but you’d have to say Morata appears to be the more creative with the ball at his feet, so he gets the edge.

How can we judge these deals on some kind of scale? Well, the goal tally at the end of the season for each striker will tell the story of who was the better signing. It’s as simple as that and both will be expected to score at least 15-20 goals in all competitions.

But I know you guys don’t like simple answers, so here’s a ranking on some of the key categories which may help us to answer which club spent their $90 million-plus better.

Finishing (out of 10)
Lukaku: 8
Morata: 9

Power
Lukaku: 9
Morata: 8

Pace 
Lukaku: 9
Morata: 8

Aerial ability
Lukaku: 8
Morata: 9

Hold-up play
Lukaku: 7
Morata: 8

Mentality
Lukaku: 7
Morata: 9

Total score
Morata: 51/60
Lukaku: 48/60

Monaco report clubs to FIFA over Kylian Mbappe contact

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AS Monaco are not happy at all.

Star striker Kylian Mbappe is wanted by every top club in the world with the 18-year-old bursting onto the scenes last season as he scored 26 goals in all competitions with Monaco winning Ligue 1 and reaching the UEFA Champions League semifinals.

The French champions released the following strongly-worded statement on Thursday after they’ve already sold Tiemoue Bakayoko to Chelsea, Bernando Silva to Manchester City and both Benjamin Mendy and Fabinho are being chased by Europe’s top clubs.

“AS Monaco regretfully notice that important European football clubs made contacts with Kylian Mbappe (and his entourage) without its authorization. AS Monaco want to remind to these clubs that such actions are contrary to the article 211 of the Administrative regulation of the French Football League (Ligue de Football Professionnel) and to the article 18.3 of the Regulation of the Status and the Transfer of the Players of FIFA.

“To put an end to this unacceptable situation, AS Monaco consider asking the French Football League (Ligue de Football Professionnel) and the FIFA to commit disciplinary procedures against clubs offenders.”

Reports state that Paris Saint-Germain and Manchester City are among the clubs reported to FIFA.

Southampton had a similar situation earlier this summer where they made a complaint over the conduct of Liverpool with regards to their star defender and team captain Virgil Van Dijk. Liverpool ended up issuing a public apology and stated that would end their interest in the player.

The secret world of “tapping up” is now coming out into the open with serious sanctions potentially awaiting any parties found guilty of not following the proper procedures.