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Sports Illustrated names their top 10 most powerful people in soccer (and one’s not even real)

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Roger Goodell is the most powerful man in sports, according to Sports Illustrated.

Allow me to pause and record your utter lack of shock. Simultaneously, I’m moving the to soccer side of the equation, where Grant Wahl has expanded the four listed in the broader 50 to a soccer Top 10.

Read the piece for explanations, but here’s his 10:

1. Sepp Blatter, FIFA President

2. Richard Scudamore, chief executive of the English Premier League

3. The Glazer Family, owners of Manchester United

4. Sheikh Mansour, owner of Manchester City

5. Qatari Royal Family, owners of Paris-Saint Germain, BeIN Sport, the power behind the successful 2022 World Cup bid

6. “Corrupt Guy” (see below)

7. Lionel Messi, attacker for FC Barcelona

8. Michel Platini, president of UEFA

9. David Beckham, midfielder for Paris Saint-Germain

10. U.S. TV Bosses

Some of these aren’t actual people, but that’s the nature of these lists. Qatari Royal Family, Glazer Family, U.S. TV Bosses? Sure, they could have picked Nasser Al-Khelaifi, Malcolm Glazer, or John Skipper*. But I get the point.

(Note: John Skipper was named in the more general top 50)

I’m having a little trouble with No. 6, though, something that appears to be an amalgam of complaints. Here’s how Wahl defines it:

How many sports are dirtier than soccer? Not many, that’s for sure. A recent Europol investigation revealed what most of us already knew: Match-fixing is rampant around the world. Meanwhile, FIFA has yet to rid itself of its reputation as an unclean organization, highlighted by the fiasco surrounding the bid process for World Cups 2018 and 2022. How serious are the people in charge about fighting it?

Corruption is a huge problem in soccer, but I’m having trouble seeing the justification for creating something like Corrupt Guy and putting him above Platini, the unranked Jerome Valcke (FIFA General Secretary), CONCACAF president Jeffrey Webb, or somebody like Cristiano Ronaldo, since the list deigned to rank players.

source: Getty ImagesHow about the President of Hawk-Eye, a company whose goal technology could answer a lot of fans’ biggest on-field concern? No mention of Nike or adidas here? And what about Alex Morgan, now the face of a growing women’s game?

It’s not that corruption isn’t important. It’s just arbitrary to choose that issue to create an amalgam to represent the totality of the issue’s influence.

Is Corrupt Guy really more important that Soccer Player Dude? You know – the guy who scores, creates, and saves all the goals? How about Tactics Man, somebody who is not only an underrated comic book hero but also raising the level of fan dialog around the game? Then there’s Analytics Boy, the young sprite who could Billy Beane this thing in the next 15 years.

What about Controversial Officially Type who sometimes gives Nani a red card, other times gives Nigel de Jong a yellow?

And given the attention women’s soccer receives, how about Female Icon? And maybe there’s room for Youth Soccer Hopeful?

I get this is an issue close to some people’s hearts. Perhaps I’m being too cavalier about this. Grant Wahl ran for FIFA president on a reform platform, and although he didn’t get nominated, the publicity around his campaign showed his affinity for these issues. And they’re issues to care about.

But for some reason, main stream sports media in this country is quick to define soccer by the outrageous: The fabulous David Beckham; puckish Mario Balotelli; racism and fans rioting at random location. And yes, corruption.

Even the mundane, day-to-day annoyances get more attention in soccer: Referee errors; on-field player behavior; and handshakes. When was the last time we truly obsessed over equivalent stories in football or basketball?

It would be nice if what happened in the game was covered with the same gravity as what happened around it.

As somebody who has had a little bit of experience in media, I take these things to heart. Soccer’s rise to the fringe of the main stream means finding a niche in a crowded cultural landscape. But thus far that niche has only been open to the sensational. What did Hope Solo do now? Did Mario Balotelli ignite something new? Where did that Paraguay fan put her cell phone?

It’s a bias. It’s understandable, given the huge attention those stories get. But for soccer fans, it’s unfortunate. It means while we watch match after match and share our love for the game with each other, the sensational defines the sport. That means Hope Solo becomes Dancing Goalkeeper, Mario Balotelli becomes Disgruntled Talent, and Corrupt Guy becomes a face of the sport.

Corrupt Guy is definitely important, but that amalgam wouldn’t even be number six on the list of fictional soccer characters. Dedicated Fan is far more important. International Apparel Giant is more influential. Nefarious Agent also deserves a shout, but so does Emerging Asian Soccer Lover.

Oh, don’t forget Soccer Player Dude. And Manager Man. And Front Office Decider and Stripe-y Guy With A Whistle. They’re all pretty powerful, too.

WATCH: Leicester’s Mahrez picks up where he left off with splendid goal

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Don’t stab at the ball!

It’s a cry that echoes from youth matches to the upper reaches of the game, but Riyad Mahrez has a tendency to force defenders into forgetting fundamentals.

[ MORE: Sunderland hires Moyes ]

The Leicester man, linked to Arsenal, danced through the Celtic defense in Saturday’s International Champions Cup action to whip a shot home and give the Foxes a 1-0 lead in Glasgow (The Bhoys have since tied it up).

We’ve seen this so many times from the Algerian, who hopefully sticks around Leicester for the club’s UEFA Champions League run and Premier League title defense.

What does Sunderland managerial change mean for USMNT’s, Spurs’ Yedlin?

SUNDERLAND, ENGLAND - MAY 11: DeAndre Yedlin and Patrick van Aanholt of Sunderland celebrate staying in the Premier League after the Barclays Premier League match between Sunderland and Everton at the Stadium of Light on May 11, 2016 in Sunderland, England.  (Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images)
Photo by Ian MacNicol/Getty Images
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DeAndre Yedlin left the United States for England in January 2015, the latest step in a career trajectory simply described as “Up”.

Yedlin, now 23, acclimated to life in the Premier League before making a late season appearance with Tottenham to close the 2014-15 season.

[ MORE: Sunderland hires Moyes ]

The next year saw him force into Sam Allardyce‘s Sunderland lineup, transforming his defensive acumen in a way that few USMTN fans could deny during this summer’s Copa America Centenario (That pesky red card aside).

But not only is Tottenham in the UEFA Champions League, but Yedlin’s manager at Sunderland is gone. What does this mean for Yedlin? Let’s consider three primary options:

Sunderland still buys him — New manager David Moyes loves him a mobile fullback with offensive capabilities. Not that Yedlin is Leighton Baines, but a starting right back slot in the Premier League could still be in the cards.

Tottenham keeps him around — Mauricio Pochettino likes to rotate his defenders and will have a heavy schedule on his plate. Kieran Trippier was unable to unseat Kyle Walker last season, so the No. 2 chair could be open for Yedlin (although Trippier showed he’s on the level while at Burnley, leading the league in crosses during 2014-15).

Tottenham loans him out — Speedy right backs will be in demand at several spots, and Sunderland is just one destination where fans are clamoring for reinforcements. Lack of purchases is one big reason Steve Bruce just left Hull City, and clubs like that will be aiming for relatively proven players on loan.

Clichy, Delph rave about education under Pep at Man City

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - JULY 08: Manchester City's manager Pep Guardiola poses for photographs outside the Etihad Stadium on July 8, 2016 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Barrington Coombs/Getty Images)
Photo by Barrington Coombs/Getty Images
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Fabian Delph means no offense to Martin O’Neill, Paul Lambert, and Manuel Pellegrini, but he’s never seen anything like the management of Man City boss Pep Guardiola.

“The first three weeks have been amazing. I’ve learned more than I have throughout my whole career,” he said to the BBC. “It is a big statement but it is the truth.”

[ MORE: Wenger open to big spending ]

He’s not alone in his praise for Guardiola, as defender Gael Clichy is thrilled at what’s transpiring in front of him at training.

From MCFC.com:

“That’s something new as before we were quite open and if you look at our games from last year we were conceding a lot of goals on the counter-attack because we were an offensive team and open. I guess he’s trying to make us as offensive as previous years but just as solid at the back.”

Later in the article, Clichy talked about his friendship with Delph (which really ties our post together). City’s site even used the term “bromance”. So they’ve got that going for them, which is nice.

Arsenal’s Wenger: “We will spend big” on the right players

PARIS, FRANCE - JULY 10:  Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger who is working for French TV prior to the UEFA EURO 2016 Final match between Portugal and France at Stade de France on July 10, 2016 in Paris, France.  (Photo by Lars Baron/Getty Images)
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While Manchester United and Liverpool have been the clubs grabbing headlines with transfers this summer, Arsene Wenger would like to remind you that:

A) There’s plenty of time left in the window.

B) Arsenal has a lot of money.

C) They did sign Granit Xhaka for big dollars.

[ RUMOR ROUNDUP: Mahrez to Arsenal ]

The Premier League’s longest-tenured manager opened up about the Gunners’ plans to keep looking for the right targets, and said the club is still “very active” and working with a month-and-a-half to go in the window.

From Arsenal.com:

“We are very active and if we find the right candidates, we will spend the big money. We have already spent big and, until now, nobody has made a bigger transfer than we have in the country.

He was also asked about Mauro Icardi, Arda Turan, and Alexandre Lacazette:

“I wouldn’t like to come out on names because if you don’t get them afterwards, people ask why. We are active, very active every day and it’s not over. Today we are on July 22 and the transfer market finishes on August 31. You know that a lot happens in the last week, so it’s a long time to go, but we are active and we are working.”

Arsenal could use a star striker, or at least depth behind Olivier Giroud, and have added young English back Rob Holding to go with scooping up Xhaka.

Do you think Wenger will dig into the bank again this summer for a big signing? If so, who?