Barcelona v FC Bayern Muenchen - UEFA Champions League Semi Final: Second Leg

Highlights and context: Bayern Munich complete transcendent semifinal, eliminate Barcelona

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This game wasn’t supposed to play out like this. Over the first 45 minutes, sure, Bayern Munich had the better chances, but they weren’t attacking with the same abandon that they did in Germany. Theirs was a restrained imposition – a team more intent on containing than exploiting, tactics born out of the 4-0 lead they carried into the Nou Camp.

But most machines have but a few functions. Bayern’s has two that most soccer teams share, even if they seem to do both better than any other team in the world. They prevent goals, and they score goals, and through 45 minutes at the Nou Camp, they were only performing one of those tasks.

In the second half at Barcelona, they got back to business. Three minutes in, Arjen Robben scored as Arjen Robben of a goal as you will ever see. Left-footed curler from the right of the area? Nobody would be surprised if the Dutch winger literally did that in his sleep. The only marvel on Wednesday was how he was allowed to do that while he’s awake.

Twenty-four minutes later, Bayern forced Gerard Piqué into an own goal — the low-point of Barcelona’s 180-minute nightmare –before Thomas Müller headed home Bayern Munich’s seventh goal of the tie. For the home team, the night couldn’t end soon enough.

Independent of what happened last week in Munich, this was an embarrassing result. Barcelona? Losing 3-0 at home? That just doesn’t happen. And it wasn’t meant to happen. Bayern were playing nice at the beginning, going into halftime without scoring a goal.

But perhaps Bayern can’t stop themselves. They’re addicted, left in withdrawals when they’re not being dominant to the point of pressing our imaginations: When have we ever seen a team perform at this level? Because Bayern just completed one of the more memorable routs in Champions League history.

Highlights courtesy of FOX Soccer.

VIDEO: T&T women’s team gives away one of the most bizarre PKs

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Play until you hear the referee’s whistle. In theory, so simple. In practice, it only takes a single second of concentration lapse to become an internet sensation for all the wrong reasons.

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Such is life for Karyn Forbes, member of the Trinidad and Tobago women’s national soccer team. In the above video, you’ll observe Forbes, a 24-year-old midfielder, giving away perhaps the most bizarre penalty kick you’ll ever see. You’ll have to watch for yourself to believe it.

[ MORE: USWNT opens Olympic qualifying with 5-0 victory ]

Unfortunately for Forbes, though the whole of the ball might have crossed the whole of the end line, the referee did not blow her whistle… not until Forbes picked the ball up with her hands and carried it to her goalkeeper.

Bundesliga to go ahead with video replay tests over two years

FILE - In this Saturday, Dec. 8, 2012, file photo, a Hawk-Eye camera is set up at Toyota stadium in Toyota. For the first time at a World Cup, technology will be used to determine whether a ball crosses the goal line during matches at the upcoming tournament in Brazil. With vanishing spray also being used to prevent encroachment by defenders making up a wall during free kicks, officials at the highest level of the world’s most popular sport are finally getting some assistance. (AP Photo/Shuji Kajiyama)
AP Photo/Shuji Kajiyama
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BERLIN (AP) The German Football League (DFL) has given the go-ahead for the possible testing of video replays in the Bundesliga over a two-year pilot phase.

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The DFL says it will be lodging an application with FIFA to take part if the pilot phase is approved by the International Football Association Board at its next annual general meeting on March 5.

The DFL says video replays could be used by a “team of impartial match officials for the purpose of avoiding any evidently incorrect decisions” and that the pilot phase would be preceded by “intensive preparations.”

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These would include the settlement of costs among FIFA, the IFAB, the DFL and German football federation, as well as training for the candidates.

West Ham extend Payet’s contract in “enormous show of faith”

West Ham’s Dimitri Payet celebrates after scoring while soap bubbles are blown during the English Premier League soccer match between West Ham and Newcastle at Boleyn Ground in London, Monday, Sept. 14, 2015.(AP Photo/Frank Augstein)
AP Photo/Frank Augstein
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West Ham United hope Dimitri Payet is going absolutely nowhere after the club announced on Thursday the 28-year-old Frenchman has signed a contract extension through the summer of 2021.

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Payet’s current contract was scheduled to keep him at the Premier League club through the summer of 2020, but a series of standout performances (6 goals, 4 assists so far this season, mostly during the season’s opening three months) and rumors of interest from “bigger” clubs meant tacking on another year — and plenty more cash — was the best way to keep Payet in east London for the foreseeable future. The club confirmed earlier this week that negotiations over an extension were underway.

“He’s the best player I’ve signed in 25 years,” said West Ham co-owner David Sullivan. “He’s a [$43 million] player. He’s a supreme footballer. He makes every player in our side play better. On his day, he’s world class, he’s unstoppable.”

Payet, who’s been at West Ham just eight months after signing last summer, could still depart in the summer should he finish the current season strong and/or show up and show out at the European Championship, which kicks off in June. In that event, West Ham would now bag a much heftier transfer fee than they would have done prior to the extension.

VIDEO: Dele Alli’s magnificent juggling goal recreated in hand-drawn crayon

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Remember that Dele Alli goal? No, not that one… that one. Of course you remember it. How could you not?

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How often does a player receive the ball out of the air, flick it over his head, spin 180 degrees and hit an inch-perfect volley from 20 yards out to secure all three points for his team? The answer is, of course, not very often.

[ MORE: Top 5 Premier League storylines — Sunday’s top-four battle royal

Thus, a goal such as Alli’s stunning winner against Crystal Palace last month has been, and will continue to be, immortalized through numerous recreations in this Digital Age. Above is Alli’s goal recreated in hand-drawn crayon.