Barcelona v FC Bayern Muenchen - UEFA Champions League Semi Final: Second Leg

Highlights and context: Bayern Munich complete transcendent semifinal, eliminate Barcelona

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This game wasn’t supposed to play out like this. Over the first 45 minutes, sure, Bayern Munich had the better chances, but they weren’t attacking with the same abandon that they did in Germany. Theirs was a restrained imposition – a team more intent on containing than exploiting, tactics born out of the 4-0 lead they carried into the Nou Camp.

But most machines have but a few functions. Bayern’s has two that most soccer teams share, even if they seem to do both better than any other team in the world. They prevent goals, and they score goals, and through 45 minutes at the Nou Camp, they were only performing one of those tasks.

In the second half at Barcelona, they got back to business. Three minutes in, Arjen Robben scored as Arjen Robben of a goal as you will ever see. Left-footed curler from the right of the area? Nobody would be surprised if the Dutch winger literally did that in his sleep. The only marvel on Wednesday was how he was allowed to do that while he’s awake.

Twenty-four minutes later, Bayern forced Gerard Piqué into an own goal — the low-point of Barcelona’s 180-minute nightmare –before Thomas Müller headed home Bayern Munich’s seventh goal of the tie. For the home team, the night couldn’t end soon enough.

Independent of what happened last week in Munich, this was an embarrassing result. Barcelona? Losing 3-0 at home? That just doesn’t happen. And it wasn’t meant to happen. Bayern were playing nice at the beginning, going into halftime without scoring a goal.

But perhaps Bayern can’t stop themselves. They’re addicted, left in withdrawals when they’re not being dominant to the point of pressing our imaginations: When have we ever seen a team perform at this level? Because Bayern just completed one of the more memorable routs in Champions League history.

Highlights courtesy of FOX Soccer.

Men In Blazers podcast: Mourinho’s Chelsea return; Bradley’s 1st point

Men In Blazers
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Rog and Davo break down Jose Mourinho’s return to Chelsea with Manchester United, another stumble for Manchester City and Bob Bradley’s first Premier League point.

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VIDEO: Altidore, Giovinco combine for TFC’s first-ever playoff goal

Sebastian Giovinco
Chris Young/The Associated Press via AP
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It’s been 10 years in the making, and Toronto FC finally have their first-ever goal in the MLS Cup Playoffs.

[ MORE: All of PST’s MLS Cup Playoffs preview coverage ]

After failing to qualify for the playoffs in each of their first eight seasons, 2015 saw the Reds venture into the postseason for the first time ever, only to be thumped in the knockout round, 3-0, by their 401 derby rival Montreal Impact, of all sides.

This is the year, though, or so we’ve said and been told all season long. While it remains to be seen how deep of a run TFC can muster in 2016, they’ll always have the Jozy Altidore‘s terrible first touch; Altidore’s wayward second and third touches; Altidore’s overhead cross; and Sebastian Giovinco’s strike, all of which you can watch in all its hilarity glory below.

[ MORE: Power rankings — Playoffs edition | MLS Cup predictions ]

Julian Green’s historic first start, goal for Bayern Munich

Julian Green, Bayern Munich (Photo credit: Bundesliga / Twitter)
Photo credit: Bundesliga / Twitter
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FRANKFURT, Germany (AP) United States international Julian Green scored in his first official start as title holder Bayern Munich eased to a 3-1 win over Augsburg to reach the third round of the German Cup on Wednesday.

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Green’s first goal in a competition match for Bayern came in the 42nd minute with a header off a cross by Thomas Mueller.

The 21-year-old American winger played in the previous German Cup round, coming off the bench in a 5-0 win over Carl-Zeiss Jena. Green has been in coach Carlo Ancelotti’s squad several times this season but this was his first start.

Green made headlines by scoring a hat trick against Inter Milan in a pre-season tour of the United States, then scored in back-to-back matches for the United States against Cuba and New Zealand.

[ MORE: MLS Power Rankings — Going to the playoffs edition ]

Ancelotti left many of his regulars on the bench against Augsburg and Green got his chance.

Another player made a comeback with defender Holger Badstuber coming off the bench late in the match. Badstuber had not played since an ankle injury in February.

Bayern, an 18-time German Cup winner, went ahead through Philipp Lahm in the second minute and David Alaba completed the victory in injury time.

[ MORE: MLS Cup predictions ]

Ji Dong-won had cut Augusburg’s deficit with fine angled shot above Manuel Neuer’s arms into the roof of the net in the 69th.

Both teams missed penalties, with Mueller shooting high for Bayern and Neuer saving the spot-kick taken by Koo Ja-cheol.

EFL Cup QF draw: Man United-West Ham; Arsenal-Saints in all-PL ties

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 23:  The League Cup trophy on display prior to the Capital One Cup third round match between Tottenham Hotspur and Arsenal at White Hart Lane on September 23, 2015 in London, England.  (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images
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Following the conclusion of Wednesday’s Manchester derby in the fourth round of the 2016-17 EFL Cup, the draw for the quarterfinal round presented a pair of all-Premier League clashes.

[ MORE: All of PST’s PL coverage ]

Manchester United will take on West Ham United at Old Trafford, while Arsenal will welcome Southampton to the Emirates Stadium. All quarterfinal fixtures will be played the week commencing Nov. 28.

As for the other two matchups, Liverpool host Leeds United at Anfield, and Hull City will face one of the three clubs they replaced in the PL this season, recently relegated Newcastle United, at the KCOM Stadium.

Full EFL Cup quarterfinal draw

Liverpool vs. Leeds United
Manchester United vs. West Ham
Hull City vs. Newcastle United
Arsenal vs. Southampton