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Brighton & Hove Albion formally apologize to Crystal Palace over ‘excrement’ incident

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You know, Major League Soccer can’t say it’s truly made it until it’s had a big feces incident between rivals. It that respect, the English Championship is light years ahead of MLS, with somebody having smeared excrement on the walls of the Crystal Palace locker room ahead of Monday’s second leg of their playoff semifinal at Brighton & Hove Albion.

Really.

Crystal Palace went on to defeat Brighton, 2-0, advancing to the Championship’s playoff final by the same score, but before the two rivals walked onto the pitch at the Amex stadium, Palace manager Ian Holloway informed his counterpart, Gus Poyet, of the state of his dressing room. Poyet was reportedly so upset about the situation after that game that he sent an email to staff demanding the culprit be found and fired, an email that has since been cited as a factor Poyet (and his staff’s) suspension.

Really.

Today, news of the locker room vandalism finally broke, with club chief executive Paul Barber taking to email to explain the incident to season ticket holders:

“It’s clearly been a challenging week for our club: defeat at home to our biggest rivals in a play-off semi-final; the suspension from work and pending investigation of three members of our staff; and the revelation of an unsavoury incident that took place in our visitors’ dressing room last Monday.

“I can assure you that we will address each of these challenges as you would expect and want us to: namely, professionally and with as much dignity as possible. We apologised to Crystal Palace as soon as the vandalism in their dressing room was discovered, and again more formally a few days after the match. As a result of what happened, please rest assured we have reviewed our internal procedures to guard against this ever happening again.”

So at some point, somebody got into the visitor’s locker room and smeared waste on the walls. But at no point did anybody notice (or smell) the damage until Crystal Palace arrived?

That, to me, it more incredible than any other aspect of this story. Somebody tries to do something stupid? Yeah, whatever. Welcome to sports. He initially gets away with it? Sure. Streakers still happen. I don’t know why, but they do.

But nobody notices until Crystal Palace arrives? Nobody did a walk-through? There wasn’t a cleaning crew that checked the trash cans or the showers?

Boy, the things we miss out on in Major League Soccer.

VIDEO: T&T women’s team gives away one of the most bizarre PKs

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Play until you hear the referee’s whistle. In theory, so simple. In practice, it only takes a single second of concentration lapse to become an internet sensation for all the wrong reasons.

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Such is life for Karyn Forbes, member of the Trinidad and Tobago women’s national soccer team. In the above video, you’ll observe Forbes, a 24-year-old midfielder, giving away perhaps the most bizarre penalty kick you’ll ever see. You’ll have to watch for yourself to believe it.

[ MORE: USWNT opens Olympic qualifying with 5-0 victory ]

Unfortunately for Forbes, though the whole of the ball might have crossed the whole of the end line, the referee did not blow her whistle… not until Forbes picked the ball up with her hands and carried it to her goalkeeper.

Bundesliga to go ahead with video replay tests over two years

FILE - In this Saturday, Dec. 8, 2012, file photo, a Hawk-Eye camera is set up at Toyota stadium in Toyota. For the first time at a World Cup, technology will be used to determine whether a ball crosses the goal line during matches at the upcoming tournament in Brazil. With vanishing spray also being used to prevent encroachment by defenders making up a wall during free kicks, officials at the highest level of the world’s most popular sport are finally getting some assistance. (AP Photo/Shuji Kajiyama)
AP Photo/Shuji Kajiyama
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BERLIN (AP) The German Football League (DFL) has given the go-ahead for the possible testing of video replays in the Bundesliga over a two-year pilot phase.

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The DFL says it will be lodging an application with FIFA to take part if the pilot phase is approved by the International Football Association Board at its next annual general meeting on March 5.

The DFL says video replays could be used by a “team of impartial match officials for the purpose of avoiding any evidently incorrect decisions” and that the pilot phase would be preceded by “intensive preparations.”

[ MORE: 17-year-old American MF Pulisic gets Bundesliga debut for Dortmund ]

These would include the settlement of costs among FIFA, the IFAB, the DFL and German football federation, as well as training for the candidates.

West Ham extend Payet’s contract in “enormous show of faith”

West Ham’s Dimitri Payet celebrates after scoring while soap bubbles are blown during the English Premier League soccer match between West Ham and Newcastle at Boleyn Ground in London, Monday, Sept. 14, 2015.(AP Photo/Frank Augstein)
AP Photo/Frank Augstein
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West Ham United hope Dimitri Payet is going absolutely nowhere after the club announced on Thursday the 28-year-old Frenchman has signed a contract extension through the summer of 2021.

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Payet’s current contract was scheduled to keep him at the Premier League club through the summer of 2020, but a series of standout performances (6 goals, 4 assists so far this season, mostly during the season’s opening three months) and rumors of interest from “bigger” clubs meant tacking on another year — and plenty more cash — was the best way to keep Payet in east London for the foreseeable future. The club confirmed earlier this week that negotiations over an extension were underway.

“He’s the best player I’ve signed in 25 years,” said West Ham co-owner David Sullivan. “He’s a [$43 million] player. He’s a supreme footballer. He makes every player in our side play better. On his day, he’s world class, he’s unstoppable.”

Payet, who’s been at West Ham just eight months after signing last summer, could still depart in the summer should he finish the current season strong and/or show up and show out at the European Championship, which kicks off in June. In that event, West Ham would now bag a much heftier transfer fee than they would have done prior to the extension.

VIDEO: Dele Alli’s magnificent juggling goal recreated in hand-drawn crayon

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Remember that Dele Alli goal? No, not that one… that one. Of course you remember it. How could you not?

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How often does a player receive the ball out of the air, flick it over his head, spin 180 degrees and hit an inch-perfect volley from 20 yards out to secure all three points for his team? The answer is, of course, not very often.

[ MORE: Top 5 Premier League storylines — Sunday’s top-four battle royal

Thus, a goal such as Alli’s stunning winner against Crystal Palace last month has been, and will continue to be, immortalized through numerous recreations in this Digital Age. Above is Alli’s goal recreated in hand-drawn crayon.