Five MLS club who could surely use Victor Valdes

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Beating the transfer rumor monster is simply not possible. Not for a mere mortal journalist, at least.

So, we may as well have a little fun with it. Perhaps you’ve heard that Barcelona goalkeeper Victor Valdes is pimping himself for a new address. Joe Prince-Wright wrote about it earlier today at PST.

All the usual caveats apply here. Remember, what most internationals mean when they say “MLS” is New York, L.A. or Seattle, a.k.a. the teams known to pay for top talent. And some of these guys simply aren’t up to speed on the economics, meaning they fail to understand that only a select few foreign bright lights can truly rake it the green on MLS shores.

Most “rumored MLS men” couldn’t even tell you what the acronym stands for and will never play here. But, again, none of this matters the second these guys say “MLS” and this stuff ignites in the media spin cycle.

So … I’ll take Joe’s previous PST post one step further and give you the fivesome of MLS clubs that could most use a figure like Valdes. (They are listed alphabetically.)

Colorado – No offense to rookie Clint Irwin, but Valdes has approximately 100,000 more hours of top level experience, or something like that.

D.C. United – Yes, Bill Hamid is a fine, young goalkeeping prospect. But let’s not pretend like all the wobbles in goal from the 22-year-old ‘keeper have not contributed to the Black and Red’s awful season.

Los Angeles Galaxy – Let’s not sugar coat it: Carlo Cudicini has been a disappointment. Halfway through the season, he’s not “still adjusting” and he’s not “getting his form,” he just isn’t quite cutting it. For best chances of a championship defense, Bruce Arena’s team needs to improve at this spot.

New York – I keep hearing that Ryan Meara will provide great competition for Luis Robles when he gets healthy. In fact, I wrote that myself – last February! Poor Meara just cannot seem to get there. Meanwhile, Robles is a mixed bag at best.

Vancouver – Between Joe Cannon and Brad Knighton (and even Jay Nolly before that) the organization just cannot make up its mind. And you know what that means: they need a lock-solid No. 1 around BC Place.

VIDEO: Gerrard’s juggle and finish leads Liverpool legends past Real Madrid

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Scoring at Anfield doesn’t get old, especially when your name is Steven Gerrard.

The English midfielder was playing in a friendly match between Liverpool and Real Madrid “legends” on Sunday, when he delivered this tasty goal (and assists to Michael Owen, Robbie Fowler, and John Aldridge).

[ MORE: Under-the-radar Premier League XI ]

Gerrard redirects a cross over a lunging defender and into a place where he can lash a goal home to put the Reds up 4-0. He dedicated his Man of the Match performance to club legend Ronnie Moran, who died earlier this week.

Real’s comeback came up just short in a 4-3 final, with Fernando Morientes, Ruben de la Red, and Edwin Congo scoring for the visitors.

On a Sunday waiting for the international matches to begin, Gerrard supplies a nice highlight for the rest of us (Extended highlights free on Liverpool’s site).

Ozil bristles at talk of Arsenal selling him

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Mesut Ozil is on international break, and bristling at reports that Arsenal is going to sell him.

The midfielder’s absence from the lineup last week had plenty speculating on his future, even more than usual. His contract expires in 2018, and several reports claimed he’d join Alexis Sanchez as players destined for elsewhere.

[ MORE: Under-the-radar Premier League XI ]

Ozil was not called up by Germany, and has missed four of his last nine Premier League matches. Three of those were for illness, and he missed last week’s loss to West Brom with a hamstring injury.

From Metro:

“And you think Wenger tells the journalist before he tells me? Then I know him differently,” Ozil told German outlet Welt.

“I have a contract until 2018 in London and I feel very comfortable there. We’ll talk soon and then make a decision.”

Metro notes that Ozil also said he wants to win the Champions League, something that can only happen with Arsenal remaining in the Top Four. We suppose you could make snarky inferences from his “comfortable in London” phrasing, but we’ll leave it there.

Sydney FC clinches first place in A-League

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SYDNEY (AP) After clinching first place in Australia’s A-League without taking the field, Sydney FC enhanced its record achievement with a 3-0 win over the Perth Glory on Sunday.

Sydney FC won the Premiers Plate as regular-season champions after the second-place Melbourne Victory lost 1-0 to Brisbane on Saturday, when Sydney had a night off.

The Brisbane win left Sydney with an unassailable 11-point lead in first place with three rounds to play.

[ MORE: An under-the-radar Premier League XI ]

The Sydney side also created some history: it became the only team to have remained in outright first position in the standings for an entire season.

In the other match Sunday, the Wellington Phoenix beat Newcastle 5-0 to remain within five points of sixth-place Western Sydney for the final playoff spot.

Walking Dead? Star fittingly sees Exeter’s implausible comeback (video)

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As Rick Grimes, actor Andrew Lincoln regularly battles the undead on his show “The Walking Dead”.

As a friend of Exeter City manager Paul Tisdale, Lincoln was probably pretty happy to watch a team that would not die.

Exeter went down 3-0 when Yeovil Town broke a scoreless drought with a trio of tallies between the 62nd and 78th minutes.

[ MORE: An under-the-radar Premier League XI ]

But Exeter’s David Wheeler scored in the 88th minute, and Troy Brown and Reuben Reid scored a minute apart at the beginning of stoppage time to earn a point for the League Two playoff hopeful.

Couple things on this video, too:

— Check out the shove on the goalkeeper when trying to collect the ball after the first goal of the fight back.

— Watch the man with his baby behind the net after the third goal. Did Mom know how safe her little one was?