Victor Valdes

Five MLS club who could surely use Victor Valdes

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Beating the transfer rumor monster is simply not possible. Not for a mere mortal journalist, at least.

So, we may as well have a little fun with it. Perhaps you’ve heard that Barcelona goalkeeper Victor Valdes is pimping himself for a new address. Joe Prince-Wright wrote about it earlier today at PST.

All the usual caveats apply here. Remember, what most internationals mean when they say “MLS” is New York, L.A. or Seattle, a.k.a. the teams known to pay for top talent. And some of these guys simply aren’t up to speed on the economics, meaning they fail to understand that only a select few foreign bright lights can truly rake it the green on MLS shores.

Most “rumored MLS men” couldn’t even tell you what the acronym stands for and will never play here. But, again, none of this matters the second these guys say “MLS” and this stuff ignites in the media spin cycle.

So … I’ll take Joe’s previous PST post one step further and give you the fivesome of MLS clubs that could most use a figure like Valdes. (They are listed alphabetically.)

Colorado – No offense to rookie Clint Irwin, but Valdes has approximately 100,000 more hours of top level experience, or something like that.

D.C. United – Yes, Bill Hamid is a fine, young goalkeeping prospect. But let’s not pretend like all the wobbles in goal from the 22-year-old ‘keeper have not contributed to the Black and Red’s awful season.

Los Angeles Galaxy – Let’s not sugar coat it: Carlo Cudicini has been a disappointment. Halfway through the season, he’s not “still adjusting” and he’s not “getting his form,” he just isn’t quite cutting it. For best chances of a championship defense, Bruce Arena’s team needs to improve at this spot.

New York – I keep hearing that Ryan Meara will provide great competition for Luis Robles when he gets healthy. In fact, I wrote that myself – last February! Poor Meara just cannot seem to get there. Meanwhile, Robles is a mixed bag at best.

Vancouver – Between Joe Cannon and Brad Knighton (and even Jay Nolly before that) the organization just cannot make up its mind. And you know what that means: they need a lock-solid No. 1 around BC Place.

Juan Carlos Osorio to become new Mexico boss

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Mexico looks to have found a new manager in Juan Carlos Osorio.

Osorio, who had stints managing in Major League Soccer with the Chicago Fire and New York Red Bulls, was most recently coaching in Brazil with Sao Paulo.

However, the Brazilian club released a statement today that Osorio had decided to step down from his position in order to take the Mexico job.

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s USMNT coverage ]

Following Miguel Herrera’s firing in July, Ricardo Ferretti was named interim manager of El Tri, and will coach the side in Saturday’s CONCACAF playoff match against the United States. However, Ferretti has stated he will not stay with Mexico past that match, and will return to Liga MX, where he serves as manager of Tigres UANL.

Osorio had recently been linked with the Mexico job, but said he would take his time in making a decision.

His only other exposure to Mexican football came during a short stint in Liga MX managing Puebla. He lasted just seven matches before resigning and returning to manage in his native Colombia.

[ RELATED: Donovan says Klinsmann should be fired if USMNT loses to Mexico ]

He was in line to take charge of the Honduras national team in 2011, but he was unable to get out of the contract with the Colombian team he was managing at the time.

There has been no official confirmation of the hiring from the Mexican Federation.

Benzema and Benitez in a war of words at Real Madrid

MADRID, SPAIN - SEPTEMBER 26: Head coach Rafael Benitez (R) of Real Madrid CF gives instructions to his player Karim Benzema (L) during the La Liga match between Real Madrid CF and Malaga CF at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu on September 26, 2015 in Madrid, Spain.  (Photo by Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno/Getty Images)
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Karim Benzema has scored six goals in his eight appearances for Real Madrid this season, and is currently the top scorer in La Liga.

Despite being in great form, Benzema has continuously been substituted by manager Rafa Benitez, which has upset the French striker.

Benzema opened the scoring for Real in the Madrid derby over the weekend, but was taken off in the 77th minute. Atletico would go on to score minutes later as the match ended in a 1-1 draw.

[ RELATED: Top moments from USMNT vs. Mexico ]

Speaking after the game, Benzema said he was “fed up” with being taken off, but will continue to work to help his team.

Substitutions are what the coach decides, I’m just there to help my teammates.

It’s true I’m fed up of being taken off. I’m calm and will continue to work so I’m not always subtituted. He took me off to get a result, for defensive reasons.

It’s true that the electronic board always shows the No.9. Ask Benitez why that is.

When told about Benzema’s comments, Benitez said he made the change for tactical reasons, as Real was in the lead and he replaced the striker with a more defensive-minded player in midfielder Mateo Kovacic.

I needed to give the team some balance at that point in the game. I’m a huge fan of Benzema. If I were Karim, I’d also be angry at being taken off when I thought I was playing well and was on a great run of form.

What I’d do if I were Karim is score more goals so that next time I don’t have to be taken off and can say, ‘Hey, here I am.’

Benitez’s response comes off as a backhanded compliment, asking Benzema to “score more goals,” despite the player leading La Liga in scoring. In fact, Benzema has averaged a goal every 84 minutes this season, an incredible strike rate.

[ RELATED: Chelsea release statement on Jose Mourinho’s future ]

Over the summer, Benzema was linked with a move away from Real Madrid, but he constantly denied the rumors and said he never thought about leaving the club, which he called the best in the world. Just a few matches into the new season, there may be some trouble in paradise.