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Nigerian teams suspended after “scandalous” 79-0 and 67-0 wins

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This has to be one of the most ridiculous stories I’ve ever heard.

In Nigeria, four teams have today been suspended after two playoff matches ended up as 79-0 and 67-0 wins.

I’ll do the math for you on that one, that is 146 goals in just two games…. talk about getting your money’s worth.

But it seems as though it wasn’t just a goal fest. Something was up, you guessed it, with those utterly ridiculous scorelines.

First Plateau United Feeders beat Akurba FC 79-0, then Police Machine FC battered Bubayaro FC 67-0.

Chairman of the Nigerian Football Federation (NFF) Organising Committee, Mike Umeh,

“It is unacceptable – a scandal of huge proportions,” said Umeh, “The teams are suspended indefinitely, pending further sanctions. We will investigate this matter thoroughly and get to the bottom of it.”

So why did this happen? Well, promotion to the Nationwide League Division was at stake folks and when that comes up, it seems people go crazy. Police Machine and Plateau United Feeders were level on points going into their last game of the season. Only goal differential separated them.

Then the craziness occurred, as after half time the Feeders scored 72 times and Police Machine scored 61 times. How that’s possible is beyond me. Is there even enough time to keep going back to the center circle and kicking off for that?

After those 146 goals were smashed home, Plateau moved just above Police Machine on goal difference and were promoted. But didn’t they think something would be up?

Surely they to think that someone, somewhere would raise a red flag about the ridiculous nature of the scores? Obviously not.

The NFF have promised heavy bans, fines and sanctions on the players, coaches and individuals involved. Quite right. There is no place in the beautiful game for obvious acts of match-fixing.

I just would have loved to have seen both games going on and witness how the information was transmitted between the two games.Was their one man with a cell phone at each match shouting out “Hey, they are winning 54-0 now, score another 10!” Or were both games being played on pitches next to each other?

How bad were the other players, did they just stand there? Or was the team made out of guys who had never kicked a ball before? If that wasn’t the case, how much were they paid and what was the huge incentive, no offense to Nigerian soccer, to go to such great lengths to get promoted to the ‘Nationwide League Division?’

Whatever happened, someone could make a movie about this. There is sure to be some incredible wide-ranging and shady back story that is befitting of a Hollywood drama.

My mind is boggling just trying to imagine how so many goals were scored in 90 minutes. Think about it. How did they do that?

Manchester United said to be offering $12 million bonus to Zlatan Ibrahimovic

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - APRIL 12:  Zlatan Ibrahimovic of Paris Saint-Germain beats Eliaquim Mangala (20) and Joe Hart of Manchester City to score, but his goal is disallowed during the UEFA Champions League quarter final second leg match between Manchester City FC and Paris Saint-Germain at the Etihad Stadium on April 12, 2016 in Manchester, United Kingdom.  (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)
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The Premier League sometimes seems to deal in funny money, and it might take just that to bring Zlatan Ibrahimovic across the English Channel.

The Swedish superstar, 34, is leaving Paris Saint-Germain this summer and is reportedly being targeted by several Premier League clubs.

[ MORE: LVG issues statement ]

With his old pal Jose Mourinho expected to take over at Manchester United, there’s been a natural batch of gossip linking the pair. Goal.com has claims of extraordinary dollar signs for the trophy-collecting Ibrahimovic.

Goal’s French site claims that Ibrahimovic would get close to a $12 million signing bonus to go with a huge weekly salary of approximately $363,000. Add that up, and you’re talking more than $560,000 a week.

The report spreads rumors of a $400,000-per-week offer from Major League Soccer for Zlatan, and that acquisition would certainly quell the minor storm caused by China’s acquisition of many big names.

We’ve always thought Ibrahimovic was more an Arsenal-style player, but imagine Mourinho running the Swede with Anthony Martial and Marcus Rashford? Bonkers.

Ajax hires Peter Bosz as new coach to replace Frank de Boer

SOUTHAMPTON, ENGLAND - JULY 30:  Peter Bosz manager of Vitesse looks on ahead of the UEFA Europa League Third Qualifying Round 1st Leg match between Southampton and Vitesse at St Mary's Stadium on July 30, 2015 in Southampton, England.  (Photo by Jordan Mansfield/Getty Images)
Photo by Jordan Mansfield/Getty Images
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AMSTERDAM (AP) Ajax has signed Peter Bosz as its new coach, replacing Frank de Boer who announced earlier this month he was leaving the club after nearly six years in which he won four Dutch league titles.

Bosz, a former player and technical director at Ajax’s arch rival Feyenoord, is leaving Maccabi Tel Aviv to join the Amsterdam club on a three-year contract.

[ MORE: USMNT-Ecuador preview | Klinsmann eyes semis ]

In a statement late Tuesday, Bosz says it is an honor to join Ajax. He says, “I am very ambitious and so is Ajax.”

Ajax director Edwin van der Sar says that in Bosz, Ajax has hired a coach “who can make our talented squad even better.”

Ajax finished second behind PSV Eindhoven in the top flight Eredivisie season that has just ended.

WATCH: Neymar caught a bit offguard in first look at his wax figure

MADRID, SPAIN - MAY 22:  Neymar of FC Barcelona celebrates aftr scoring Barcelona's 2nd goal during the Copa del Rey Final between Barcelona and Sevilla at Vicente Calderon Stadium    on May 22, 2016 in Madrid, Spain.  (Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images)
Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images
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I remember the first time I saw the first of many life size wax replications of my body.

That is a sentence I am unlikely to ever utter, but Neymar is a different story.

[ MORE: USMNT-Ecuador preview | Klinsmann eyes semis ]

The 24-year-old Brazilian superstar was caught on camera witnessing his wax figure for the first time, and we can watch it thanks to FC Barcelona.

Look at this guy, looking at that guy. The most interesting part for me is his fascination with how well they did with his tattoos, which of course are easier to duplicate than, you know, a face:

Morris “completely respects” Klinsmann’s keeping him off USMNT roster

SEATTLE, WA - APRIL 20:  Seattle Sounders FC forward Jordan Morris speaks on stage during We Day at KeyArena on April 20, 2016 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Mat Hayward/Getty Images for We Day)
Photo by Mat Hayward/Getty Images for We Day
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Seattle Sounders striker and USMNT star-in-waiting Jordan Morris struck a mature note when asked about his exclusion from Jurgen Klinsmann’s 23-man roster for this summer’s Copa America Centenario.

Some will have considered the youngster a lock for the roster, with Morris already boasting rarefied air as a college player to become something close to a national team regular while still in school.

[ MORE: USMNT-Ecuador preview | Klinsmann eyes semis ]

But Klinsmann opted for in-form San Jose striker Chris Wondolowski, and it has become old hat for MLS players to gripe when their name is not called by the German boss (See: Benny Feilhaber, Brad Evans and Landon Donovan).

Don’t count Morris in that group. Of course the youngster doesn’t have the tenure to rally against the man who gave him his shot in the first place, but that hasn’t stopped others from acting entitled to a roster spot.

From MLSSoccer.com:

“[Klinsmann] told me not take it too hard and that there was a lot of competition,” Morris said. “I completely respect his decision. There were a lot of good forwards playing and they’re all playing really well. I wish those guys all the best. It’s going to be a lot of fun to watch this summer.”

Morris can still end up on the roster through injury, and it’s easy to see him as the next name up should an attack-minded player take a knock. Stefan Frei told us last week that Morris is remarkably professional, and this is no exception.

The youngster did admit increased motivation from his omission, stating that “it gives you fuel to your fire to try and get back in the mix a little bit”. We have a feeling he won’t be out of that mix for long.