19. D.C. United – They lost 4-1 to Chicago. Records of ignominy remain well within reach. What else is there to say?
18. Toronto FC – A 0-0 draw at home against New York is a good result for TFC in 2013. Sorry … but it is.
17. Chivas USA – Signs of life came via a mid-week win over Toronto at the Home Depot Center. What’s more, Erick “Cubo” Torres and former U.S. captain Carlos Bocanegra debuted for the Goats.
16. Columbus – Following season-ending injuries to a pair of central figures, Robert Warzycha’s team is sinking predictably, now with five losses in six matches. The latest was a 2-0 setback at home to New England.
15. San Jose Earthquakes – Every time Colorado or Seattle misses opportunities for points, the sun shines a teeny bit brighter around Buck Shaw. (Those two Western Conference foes played to a draw in Seattle over the weekend.)
14. Chicago Fire – Well, well, well, look who finally broke out at Toyota Park! Chris Rolfe had two goals in a 4-1 win over D.C. United. Is he about to get on one of his signature runs?
13. New England Revolution – Jose Goncalves certainly had an eventful week: gives up a killer own goal in mid-week, gets forward to score the late game-winner as his Revs sneak away from Ohio with a road win.
12. Colorado Rapids – Quite a nice round of results for Oscar Pareja’s young men, who scratched out at home against New England and then a draw at Seattle.
11. Houston Dynamo – Nice that they are meeting Stoke City and all – A chance to meet EPL opposition ain’t bad, eh? – but just three days before they host Chicago in a match with real meaning?
10. FC Dallas – Speaking of Stoke City, they move from South Texas up I-45 to suburban Dallas for a meeting with Schellas Hyndman’s team over the weekend.
9. Seattle Sounders – You have to wonder what Saturday’s result (a scoreless draw with Colorado) might have looked like had Eddie Johnson been around to score for the MLS team instead of scoring for the U.S. national team?
8. LA Galaxy – What a sweet little move from exciting young forward Gyasi Zardes. Seen it yet? Watch it here, then thanks us later. His goal helped the champs down visiting Vancouver (with neither Landon Donovan nor Robbie Keane in the Galaxy lineup).
7. New York Red Bulls – Everyone seemed upset by the scoreless draw at Toronto. No, it wasn’t the best outing from Mike Petke’s club, but a road draw is never the worst result. No, not even this one.
6. Philadelphia Union – Young goalkeeper Zac MacMath (pictured above), having gotten a bunch of those mistakes out of him in previous years, is having a nice season around PPL Park. He made four saves Saturday to earn a sixth shutout of 2013.
5. Montreal Impact – Marco Schallibaum’s team may be disappointed with a draw at home against Dallas. But consider that Schallibaum didn’t get himself in trouble, and considering they didn’t lose by four goals as the week before …yeah, not bad.
4. Vancouver Whitecaps – Martin Rennie’s team fell at Los Angeles, but Camilo scored again. He has 10 goals in the Whitecap’s last 8 games and a league-leading 13 overall.
3. Real Salt Lake – Jason Kreis had some choice words after his team’s tough (in more ways than one) loss at home to Sporting Kansas City. It snapped RSL’s 11-game unbeaten streak.
2. Sporting Kansas City – When the week’s big news is not a road win over West-leading Real Salt Lake, you know it’s significant. Sure enough, try this one: Tuesday, the club renewed manager Peter Vermes’ contract through 2017.
1. Portland Timbers – Hopefully when Caleb Porter’s Timbers visit Buck Shaw to play San Jose this week, they’ll get the thing in without a lengthy lightning delay. They couldn’t quite get there Saturday in Philadelphia, where a 0-0 draw was delayed for almost an hour.