We just lived THE newsiest week through 18 years of Major League Soccer history

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The Clint Dempsey delirium was just the icing on a big newsy cake last week – although what deliciously sweet icing it was.

Fact is, last week was the newsiest 7-day stretch in Major League Soccer history. That covers 18 years now, so the size of the sample is hardly insignificant. Yes, more newsy even than the Beckham announcement tsunami, which swept noisily and yet somewhat majestically over MLS in January of 2007.

Although we’ve probably got sore-neck from all the head-spinning, let’s take a quick glance back at the head-spinning week that was. Here’s the accounting, in order:

  • The United States captured the Gold Cup on the strength of MLS men. Half of the 14 performers who got on the field for Jurgen Klinsmann at Soldier Field are under MLS employment. Of the other seven, six launched their careers in MLS. Oh, and the undisputed player of the tournament: the Galaxy’s clearly reenergized Landon Donovan.
  • Stuart Holden’s latest crushing blow cannot exactly be tagged “MLS news” at this point, but as he remains so closely linked to the league, still having done the majority of his professional midfield work for the Houston Dynamo, and considering the grim impact of it all, there was a heavy league attachment.
  • The Columbus Crew was sold, and for the first time in league history, the Hunt family does not own multiple MLS teams. That’s important as the league’s critical effort at ultimate ownership diversity is nearly complete. FYI, reported figures have put the sale price at around $65 million, and that deserves a meaningful conversation of its own – although we never really got to it. You know, because it was such a busy, newsy week!
  • source:  Major League Soccer commissioner Don Garber kicked up a huge fuss at halftime of the All-Star contest, revealing a significant, shifting philosophy on expansion. MLS would be a 24-team league by 2020, he said. Of course, it kicked up the next round of “Which city roulette,” and isn’t that always a hoot? And it leaves bigger, more weighty questions about dangerous trajectories and strategic approach, etc. Darn shame we didn’t have more time for those.
  • Stunningly, Major League Soccer summer showcase, the All-Star game, was reduced to opening act status. For the record, AS Roma ruled the night. (Photo … right)
  • We knew those unfamiliar and slightly obscure retention funds, part of the new, tricky math of MLS, had already been put to use. But did we have arms around the frequency, and know the names? Well, now we do after PST hung the names out of the line, out in public view last week.
  • The Cosmos are back! This would have been a talker – I mean, 29 years since the Cosmos of old pushed the NASL into flying too close to the sun – on any other week.
  • Clarence Goodson rejoined MLS, debuting in a San Jose Earthquakes shirt. Just a blip on the domestic soccer radar with everything else, I realize. Still, it was news.

USMNT: Brooks out with hip strain; World Cup qualifiers loom

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John Brooks is out of Hertha Berlin’s lineup “for the time being” after scans revealed a hip strain suffered in this weekend’s win over Wolfsburg.

That’s all Hertha has said, and that makes it hard to imagine whether American fans should be a little concerned or very concerned ahead of the USMNT’s World Cup qualifiers against Mexico, and Trinidad and Tobago in early June.

Brooks was unavailable for two weeks with an adductor strain in September, missing a month before returning to the starting lineup.

The U.S. center back pool isn’t teeming after Brooks and Geoff Cameron. Matt Besler, Tim Ream, Omar Gonzalez, and Walker Zimmerman were called up for the last World Cup qualifiers, and Gonzalez struggled but is a Bruce Arena favorite from their time in L.A.

WATCH: Snazzy Sargent goal leads U.S. U-17s past Mexico

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Josh Sargent scored a pretty goal as the United States Soccer program had another banner day against Mexico.

Nearly two months to the day after the U.S. U-20 side beat Mexico for the first time in 31 years, the U.S. U-17 topped El Tri for the first time ever. That win snapped Mexico’s 25-match unbeaten streak.

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The goal is the first of Sargent’s two goals, as the 16-year-old latched onto a long diagonal ball and used his right foot and head to move the ball into position for a strong shot.

The U.S. clinches a spot in the next round of U-17 World Cup qualifying with one match remaining in group play.

Sargent is from St. Louis and plays with Scott Gallagher-Missouri. Former Philadelphia Union coach John Hackworth coaches the U.S. U-17s.

Heads of South American soccer sent $128M in bank transfers

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SANTIAGO, Chile (AP) The leaders of South America’s soccer confederation transferred $128.6 million between 2000 and 2015 to personal accounts, suspicious accounts, or unauthorized third-party accounts, according to an audit released Wednesday by Ernst & Young.

According to the audit presented to the annual CONMEBOL congress in the Chilean capital, the confederation’s former president Nicolas Leoz transferred $26.9 million to his personal accounts. Leoz was the president for 27 years until resigning in 2013 for what he said were health reasons.

The audit also found $58 million in payments “to third parties without adequate documentation,” payments of $33.3 million to “unidentified accounts,” and $10.4 million to “suspicious third-parties.”

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“We had said that we would have four pillars, and the first two pillars were clear accounts and accountability,” said Alejandro Dominguez, the president of CONMEBOL who commissioned the audit last year. “Today we are accountable to the leaders and the whole world of football.”

Leoz, 88, is one of three ex-presidents of CONMEBOL accused on corruption charges by the United States Department of Justice. He is in Paraguay fighting extradition to the United States.

The South American body has been plagued by corruption, which was exposed two years ago during the FIFA scandal. Leoz’s two successors, Eugenio Figueredo and Juan Angel Napout, were both arrested on corruption charges.

“I’m here, I’m the manager” – Moyes will not quit Sunderland

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This has been one horrible stretch for David Moyes.

The Sunderland manager probably thought he’d been through the worst once he left Real Sociedad, where he went 12-15-15.

But he’s managed just seven wins and seven draws in 38 matches in charge of the Black Cats — an 18 percent win mark. He’s also been charged for threatening to slap a female journalist.

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And after Wednesday, Moyes has lost both of his derby matches against Middlesbrough.

Sunderland is 12 points back of safety with five matches left. The odds the Black Cats are headed for the Championship are somewhere north of 99 percent, and fans are calling for his job.

Well, he isn’t quitting. From the BBC:

“No, I’m here, I’m the manager, you take it on the chin. … I’m a football supporter, I know what it’s like. You don’t like seeing your team lose.

“There is nobody who wants to win more than me. I am used to winning, I’m not used to losing and I don’t want to get used to it either.”