Aston Villa Love: Jores Okore, Tony Moon and Christian Benteke’s calves

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A week and a half into the Premier League season and donners of horned-rim glasses from the coffee shops of Williamsburg to the record stores of Echo Park are already musing about a side on the rise – Aston Villa.

Perhaps that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point.

Villa are young. They’re exciting. And they’re fierce (yes, in both meanings of the word).

Throughout the course of the season a variety of clubs will rise to the forefront of intellectual football fans, it’s all about Paul Lambert’s wee Villans.

I’ve already written at length about how Aston Villa were done wrong by referee Kevin Friend in yesterday’s Chelsea match. That article got me all kinds of jazzed up so here are a few more thoughts on Villa and last night’s performance at Stamford Bridge.

Jores Okore, how I love thee

It took one and half matches and two injured defenders to get there but Jores Okore (pictured above) finally got his shot at strutting his stuff for Villa. It was an impressive display.

Entering the match in the 43rd minute for a bloodied Ciaran Clark – who had replaced the injured Nathan Baker in the Arsenal match – Okore needed no time to adjust.

No matter that it was his Premier League debut, that it was against the mighty Chelsea or that he had no time to warm-up. Okore immediately took to making life absolute hell for Demba Ba.

Following the match pundits were quick to note the obvious – that Romelu Lukaku is Chelsea’s best striking option up top. But one of the main reasons they arrived at this conclusion was because Okore marked Ba straight out of the match (and to be fair, did pretty well containing the wrecking ball that is Lukaku).

I’ll be surprised if the former F.C. Nordsjælland man doesn’t keep his spot in Lambert’s starting lineup going forward.

Welcome to the league, Tony Moon

In his Premier League debut against Arsenal last week, Spanish left-back Antonio Luna immediately became a household name after slotting home Villa’s third goal to defeat the Gunners 3-1.

It was a gut-busting, breakaway run seldom seen from a defender and a cool finish that you’d swear was hit by a striker. The effort was lauded ad nauseum and for his exploits Luna landed on just about everyone’s Team of the Week.

Six minutes into Wednesday’s game, however, and The Tale of Tony Moon took a harsh turn when the 22 year old couldn’t prevent his momentum from chesting the ball into Brad Guzan’s net.

Yes, the dreaded OG. He’s a tricky one to figure out – will sink his teeth into your tuchus when you least expect it. Welcome to the league, kid.

Christian Benteke’s calves

I’m not one who typically admires another man’s calves but when it comes to Christian Benteke, I can’t help myself.

source:  Those things are shockingly tiny.

They remind me of a woman I dated a few weeks back. Decent looking girl but a calveless wonder of the fifth dimension.

It was a bit like dating the female version of Seamus Levine but sadly, I myself was in a far worse position since like George Costanza, I had no hand.

But that’s another story.

Point is ‘Tekers may be one of the most powerful strikers in the game but one place that juice ain’t coming from are those calves. Perhaps it’s those airplane hangar shoulders.

France veteran Malouda loses appeal in Gold Cup case

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LAUSANNE, Switzerland (AP) Former France winger Florent Malouda has lost his appeal against being ruled ineligible to play for French Guiana at the 2017 Gold Cup.

The Court of Arbitration for Sport says its judges dismissed Malouda’s appeal against North American soccer body CONCACAF.

French Guiana fielded Malouda in a 0-0 draw against Honduras last July despite being told he was not eligible. CONCACAF awarded a 3-0 win to Honduras and suspended Malouda.

The Gold Cup uses FIFA eligibility rules which bar players from transferring allegiance after playing a competitive game for one country.

Malouda played 80 times for France including a 2006 World Cup final loss against Italy.

The French Guiana soccer federation hoped Malouda, now aged 37, could play in the Gold Cup because it is not a FIFA member.

Report: Bobby Wood unlikely to come to MLS this summer

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A U.S. Men’s National Team forward will probably have to wait a bit longer to come to Major League Soccer if that is the path that he chooses.

Reports have recently surfaced linking Bobby Wood to MLS at the conclusion of the Bundesliga season, however, MLSSoccer.com is reporting that a move for the American likely won’t come in 2018.

Wood, who remains under contract for three more seasons at Hamburg, is currently fighting relegation in Germany with his club side.

Hamburg currently sits 17th in the German top flight, eight points buried in the relegation zone with four matches remaining.

The MLSSoccer.com report suggests that MLS clubs aren’t willing to compensate Wood at the current rate of his contract in Germany.

Currently, Wood is making “several million dollars” per season, and even if Hamburg is relegated in 2017/18 Wood’s contract wouldn’t decrease to a number that clubs are comfortable paying.

If Wood was to join MLS, he would be considered a Discovery signing as he is not currently on the MLS player allocation list. The Washington Post previously reported that an MLS club has Wood included on their Discovery list, although the team’s identity isn’t known.

Report: Fellaini eyes MLS, China after shooting down Man United terms

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Marouane Fellaini‘s time in Manchester looks to be numbered, and a move abroad could have the Belgian in line for one last payday during his career.

The Manchester United midfielder has rejected multiple offers to stay on at Old Trafford ahead of his contract expiring this summer, which would allow Fellaini to pursue other opportunities come June.

Fellaini is being linked to moves to Major League Soccer and the Chinese Super League, as the veteran aims to secure a sizable contract upon leaving the Red Devils after over five-and-a-half years with the club.

The Daily Mail is also reporting that Fellaini would be open to hearing options that could keep him in the Premier League, although it is unclear if there is any serious interest from English sides at this time.

Since the arrivals of Paul Pogba and Nemanja Matic, Fellaini has struggled to find playing time under manager Jose Mourinho.

This season, the Belgium international has appeared in just 14 PL matches and 19 in all competitions. Fellaini has scored four goals in that span.

Chicago Fire venue to be renamed SeatGeek Stadium

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The Chicago Fire won’t be moving into a new stadium 2019, however, their venue will have a new name donned on the side of it.

For years, the Eastern Conference side has played its home matches at Toyota Park in Bridgeview, Illinois, but starting next season the Fire’s home turf will be called SeatGeek Stadium as part of a rebrand.

SeatGeek is one of the largest online after-market ticket distributors, and was created back in 2009.

Toyota Park will undergo its transformation at the conclusion of the 2018 MLS season.

The venue is also home to the NWSL’s Chicago Red Stars.