UEFA Champions League roundup: Milan tosses PSV aside; Lyon out; Celtic dramatically through

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PSV were supposed to be a significant test for Milan, and at times during today’s first half, the possession the Dutch runners-up held hinted they could knock the Italian giants out of Champions League. Unfortunately, the final score ended as you might have predicted when an Italian side faces a Dutch team in Europe. Despite some engaging skill from PSV’s enviable young talent, they were relegated to Europa League after today’s 3-0 loss at the San Siro, the 4-1 aggregate costing them a chance at Champions League’s group stage.

Last week’s 1-1 in Eindhoven already put Phillip Cocu’s club in a difficult situation, requiring them to get a result out of Italy. After eight minutes, their situation got worse, with a Kevin Prince Boateng blast from outside the penalty area eluding Jeroen Zoet, sneaking inside the right post to make it 2-1. Boateng added a second after half time, adding to Mario Balotelli’s 55th minute goal from Stephan El Shaarawy to give Milan their three-goal win.

The final score was deceiving, though, as the numerous tests PSV put on Christian Abbiati would have landed them on the scoresheet most nights. But it’s always a bit disingenuous to separate a goalkeeping performance from a team’s overall quality. Abbiati is, after all, a well-tenured Rossoneri player – a vice-captain, even. Better to note that a performance like today’s hints PSV’s draw may have been an unlucky one. Had they gone up against one of the other “seeded” teams, Cocu’s team would have been more likely to go through.

Instead, Milan joins Juventus and Napoli as Serie A’s representatives in group stage, though the playoff round’s other third place teams were unable to up their leagues’ allotments. Both Lyon (France) and Paços de Ferreira (Portugal) will play in Europa League, each on the wrong side of lopsided aggregates:

Real Sociedad 2-0 (4-0) Lyon

The ease with which La Real took a two-goal win out of Stade de Gerland was one of the first legs’ more surprising results, given OL’s strong start in France. But Spain’s fourth place finishers took a commanding lead in their road leg, leaving them only to hold out at home to qualify for the full competition.

Initially, it seem as if they were going to merely hold out, with Lyon controlling much of the early play before Sociedad came into the match. In the second half, La Real asserted themselves, got a double from Mexican not-so-international Carlos Vela, are cruised to a surprisingly easy 4-0 win.

Zenit St. Petersburg 4-2 (8-3) Paços de Ferriera

Paços were always over their head in this one, and after losing 4-1 last week in Portugal, the Beavers were already practically eliminated. Today Portuguese international Danny had two goals by the 48th minute, giving Russia’s runners-up a 6-1 lead. Goals by Manuel José and Carlão balanced tallies from Aleksandr Bukharov and Andrei Arshavin over the final 24 minutes, putting Luciano Spalletti’s team into group stage.

Celtic 3-0 (3-2) Shakhter Karagandy

The Kazakhstani club was unknown in Western Europe before being drawn against the Celtic, but after taking a two-goal win from their tie’s first leg, their sheep-sacrificing ways became well-known throughout the British Isles. Jokes about Celtic manager Neil Lennon hiding all the sheep in Scotland, preventing his visitors from completing their pre-match, good luck ritual, made light of the tradition, but given the Hoops’ big turnaround, perhaps Lennon was successful.

Kris Commons pulled the first back from 25 yards out just before halftime, with Greece international Georgios Samaras equalizing in the 48th. Tied 2-2 and seemingly headed for extra time, Shakhter were shockingly shown out of the competition when James Forrest scored in the second minute of stoppage time, sending the Scottish champions through.

Maribor 0-1 (1-4) Viktoria Plzen

Maribor’s hopes of turning around their two-goal deficit were squelched in the third minute, with Stanislav Tecl’s early goal not only pushing the Czechs to a three-goal lead but also canceling out the Slovenians’ road goal. The current Czech league-leaders return to Champions League’s group stage after a one-year absence, having qualified for Europa League with a third place finish in 2011-12.

Barcelona’s Twitter hacked to claim Di Maria signing

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FC Barcelona had eyeballs popping across the Twitterverse for a solid 90 seconds there.

La Liga’s giants Tweeted out a welcome to Angel Di Maria, the current PSG and former Real Madrid star, with the hashtag #DiMariaFCB.

[ MORE: EFL Cup Tues. wrap ]

It was an odd Tweet for 4 a.m. local time, as humourously pointed out by our Andy Edwards, and the hackers were quick to claim credit before any Tweets could be deleted.

So if someone tells you Angel Di Maria is the latest member of Barcelona, be sure to stop the spread of fake news.

On a day where Barca’s reportedly ready to up their bid for Liverpool’s Philippe Coutinho, something tells us someone at the Camp Nou is turning over their keys to the club’s social media.

Rescheduled Yankees game moves NYCFC-Houston to Connecticut

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A rescheduled New York Yankees game is moving New York City FC to Connecticut.

Relax, it’s only for a day.

NYCFC will entertain the Houston Dynamo at Rentschler Field at 3 p.m. on Sept. 23 instead of their regular home of Yankee Stadium.

[ MORE: EFL Cup Tues. wrap ]

The club will offer tickets to another match to current ticket holders, and will also discount tickets to the game in East Hartford for fans who hold tickets to the Yankee Stadium game and want to travel for the Dynamo match (More info here, if you are in either of those camps).

This is the third of three scheduled seasons NYCFC will play at Yankee Stadium, and it doesn’t look like it’ll find a new home any time soon.

Given the everyday nature of Major League Baseball, it’s surprising there have not been more conflicts for NYCFC. We just remain hopeful for the day we can watch NYC’s star-studded roster play on a bigger home field.

“Injustice.” “Incomprehensible.” Ronaldo again protests suspension

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The five-game suspension Cristiano Ronaldo received for making contact with an official is not sitting well with the forward.

Better put: it’s still not sitting well.

Six days ago, Ronaldo took to Instagram to say he was being persecuted after his red card in the Spanish Super Cup.

[ MORE: EFL Cup Tues. wrap ]

Tuesday afternoon, he kept up the strong words by saying the suspension is “incomprehensible” and “an injustice.”

Roughly translated, Ronaldo posted, “One more incomprehensible decision. From injustice to injustive, they will never overcome me. And as always I will come back stronger. Thank you to all who have supported me.”

We’ll say this: He’s a really good soccer player.

Barca to offer Liverpool $176M for Coutinho

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Barcelona is insane.

Desperate following a rough two-legged loss to Real Madrid in the Spanish Super Cup, the Blaugranas are reportedly ready to offer $176 million to Liverpool for Philippe Coutinho.

Read it again: $176 million for Philippe Coutinho. It’s about $126 million with $12 million more when Barca clinches a UCL spot over the next four seasons (which they have done every year since finishing sixth in 2002-03).

[ MORE: EFL Cup Tues. wrap ]

Even in this transfer market, that’s nuts. Crazy to offer, and maybe even crazier not to accept.

That’s pretty much two-thirds of the Neymar money. Two-thirds (I keep repeating myself with this story)

It’s even a convenient out for Jurgen Klopp, who’s said Liverpool is not a selling club. Here, he can say with a straight face that the club can improve with this money by selling a player who has — and I recognize it’s not all about goals and assists — one double-digit goal season in his career and a career single-season high of seven PL assists (done thrice).

Almost anyone who’s had the audacity to say the Reds should accept the bid has often been shot down by the Anfield faithful online. “It’ll ruin our season” and “How do we replace him this late?” are the common cries.

To the first question: No, it won’t. To the second: Easy?

It’s not like-for-like, but nearly every player in the world is available for $176 million. It’s not like-for-like, but here’s a short list: Antoine Griezmann, Gareth Bale, Paulo Dybala, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Marco Reus… Shoot! Klopp could sign 2-3 of his favorite BVB alums.

With this fee, Coutinho would become the second-highest transfer fee of all-time, behind only Neymar. There are makeweights Barcelona could offer that would make the deal even more intriguing to the Reds: Arda Turan, Andre Gomes, Denis Suarez.

Look at it from a neutral’s eyes — which I know is hard from the number of times I’ve read @ Tweets that say, “The only people who would like this deal are fans of Chelsea or United!” — at some point, it becomes unreasonable to not take advantage of Barcelona’s desperation. Maybe Coutinho is worth the “fit” for Barca, but rejecting this fee is more illogical than the offer itself.

At the risk of inflaming every more Liverpool supporters, Ross Barkley is probably going to cost someone $35 million and he’s a year and a half younger (Coutinho is a superior player right now, but we’re talking about the market here).

And, lastly, at some point you’re telling your entire team room that you’re willing to turn down near record money — it would be the highest non-buyout clause transfer ever — to keep a player from his dream club.

Take the money. Use it. Move on.