Newcastle 1-0 Fulham: Finally, goal to Newcastle (Video)

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It took a long time. Most of the match wasn’t pretty. In fact, Newcastle supporters looked to be in utter agony as they watched their players send in shot after shot, few of which actually came close to goal. But by the end of the 90 minutes, Newcastle not only had recorded their first goal of the season, but also notched their first win, bringing relief to those frustrated fans at St. James’ Park.

The most that can be said for Newcastle during the first half is that they managed to get in eight shots — that’s six more than the Magpies had had in their first two matches. However, only two of those shots were on target. Oh, and we should probably mention the fact that the most promising of those shots, from Fabricio Coloccini, was blocked by his own teammate. As the whistle blew for the break, it was clear that everyone at St. James’ Park was thinking the same thing: were Newcastle ever going to score this season?

But to be fair to Newcastle, Fulham were actually upstaging the home side in the “who can make this game even less interesting?” challenge. The visitors had a mere one shot in the first half, with Darren Bent setting up Brian Ruiz, but the ball went so high that Tim Krul didn’t bother waking up from his nap. Or, at that point, it may have been more properly described as a coma.

In fact, the Newcastle goalkeeper was permitted to sleep until the 68th minute, when Yohan Cabaye fouled Alexander Kacaniklic. Ruiz took the resulting free kick, putting his shot on target to force a save from the sleepy Dutchman. Then Fulham settled down and Krul was permitted to catch up on his rest once again.

The Magpies, however, continued to press for their first goal of the season, peppering David Stockdale’s goal again and again. A header from Yoan Gouffran forced the Fulham keeper into an impressive save. Soon after, Papiss Cissé hit the bar, and with Stockdale’s ears still ringing,  the keeper blocked a shot from Hatem Ben Arfa with his foot.

Ben Arfa found his revenge minutes later. Loïc Remy, on in the 74th minute, sent in the cross, which Ben Arfa neatly chested down before taking on two Fulham defenders. Rather than go through the red and white shirts, Ben Arfa dinked the ball up and over their heads, with Stockdale unable to do anything but watch. It may have taken 86 minutes, but Newcastle finally had their first goal of the season — and their first win to go with it.

Celebrate, Newcastle fans. You’ve earned this one.

Lineups

Newcastle: Krul; Debuchy, Coloccini, Yanga-Mbiwa, Santon; Ben Arfa, Anita (Cabaye 65), Sissoko, Marveaux (Remy 74); Shola Ameobi, Cissé

Subs not used: Gosling, Dummett, Elliot, Ameobi

Fulham: Stockdale; Riether (Briggs 73), Hangeland, Hughes, Riise; Kacaniklic, Sidwell (Rodallega 89), Parker, Ruiz; Berbatov, Bent (Taarabt 82)

Subs not used: Duff, Boateng, Karagounis, Etheridge

Daly collapses during match, treated for heat illness

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HOUSTON (AP) Houston Dash forward Rachel Daly collapsed during the final minute of a National Women’s Soccer League match against the Seattle Reign as temperatures climbed into the 90s.

The 25-year-old Daly was stretchered off the field and taken to the hospital, where the team said she was being treated for heat illness.

The temperature at BBVA Compass Stadium was 92 degrees at the 3 p.m. kickoff. The Reign won 2-0.

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The NWSL issued a statement that said the league had worked with the Dash before the season to schedule any afternoon games early in the year to help avoid heat issues. The teams took a hydration break late in the match.

“We will immediately review these measures to prevent this situation from occurring in the future,” the statement said.

Reign coach Laura Harvey posted to Twitter: “Proud of the team today. Some of the hottest conditions I’ve seen. Road games are tough but that was crazy.”

MLS roundup: Outrageous dive, posts doom ‘Caps; Ramirez stays red hot

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Six matches are in the books on a busy Saturday in Major League Soccer, and five of them finished 1-0.

How they got there? Much different stories. With the Cali Clasico still to play, let’s dig into the five that followed Seattle 1-0 Portland.

[ MORE: Perisic to Man Utd? ]


Vancouver Whitecaps 0-1 DC United

It’s especially difficult to win on the road in Major League Soccer, unless the hosts fritter away four good chances off the woodwork — including a Cristian Techera PK — and give away a spot kick of their own. Lamar Neagle converted the 61st offering after a sinister dive from Jose Guillermo Ortiz. He was taken off soon after, and is probably going to miss sometime when the DisCo is done with him. Outrageous.

New York Red Bulls 2-1 New England Revolution

Not one, not two, nor three, but four New England players saw a low cross slide by them for Daniel Royer to finish as New York came from behind to take all three points at Red Bull Arena. Cody Cropper committed a gaffe that allowed Bradley Wright-Phillips to equalize after a Lee Nguyen PK had put the Revs ahead early.

Colorado Rapids 1-0 Sporting KC

Homegrown defender and University of Denver product Kortne Ford has his first MLS goal, as the Rapids surprised the Western Conference leaders on Saturday. SKC outshot Colorado by nearly 20 attempts (Shoulder shrug emoji).

Minnesota United 1-0 Orlando City

There were questions as to whether NASL superstar Christian Ramirez could translate his game to Major League Soccer.

Yes. The answer is yes.

Ramirez has eight goals in 13 MLS matches, and should be hearing his name from a certain Bruce Arena around Gold Cup time. Those USMNT dreams of last season should come true.

Bobby Shuttleworth made six saves for his third shutout of the season. All have come at home.

Real Salt Lake 1-0 Philadelphia Union

Joao Plata keeps shooting, and the tiny Ecuadorian menace keeps scoring, too. His 36th minute goal was enough for the hosts at Rio Tinto.

Raiola: Zlatan to “100 percent” stay in Europe for two seasons

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic may be 35 and coming off major knee surgery, but that isn’t stopping suitors from lining up across Europe.

[ MORE: Perisic to Man Utd? ]

Ibrahimovic’s agent, Mino Raiola, says that MLS is not an option for the Swede over the next two seasons. From Sky Sports:

“Many clubs have asked for Zlatan. He can play two more years and will stay in Europe, 100 per cent.”

It would make sense for Ibrahimovic to stay around Manchester United, where he is admired by Jose Mourinho and coming off a season that showed he’s still capable of contributing at a high level.

But he remains beloved in Italy, and would be effective for most clubs in the Top 5 leagues should he return at even 75 percent of the Zlatan we’ve seen regularly.

Report: Manchester United, Inter Milan keen on Perisic deal

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Manchester United wants Ivan Perisic, and both the player and his current club are all about it.

Perisic, 28, is ready to leave Inter Milan, and the Serie A mainstays are happy to accept $46 million for his services according to Sky Sports.

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Primarily a left winger, Perisic moved to Inter from Wolfsburg at the start of the 2015-16 season. He scored 10 goals and added nine assists in Serie A play this season, and has kept up his production pace since moving from the Bundesliga to Italy.

United needs stars and depth for its Champions League campaign, and Perisic would buttress an attack with Marcus Rashford, Henrikh Mkhitaryan amongst others. He was a difference maker for Croatia at EURO 2016, and can do the same at Old Trafford.