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Premier League Playback: The Wizard of Oz-il, refs get it wrong and sad Jonjo Shelvey

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“COMPLETE THE PERFECT JOB… SEND ME OFF”

“The problem is he [the referee] told me, ‘If you keep going with your manner, I send you off. I send you up to the stand,’”, Paolo Di Canio said. “My mistake was that I invited him and say, ‘that if you want to complete the perfect job today, you have to send me off.’ And then he said ‘go off.’”

I am not going to check the stats on this one, because this was a first in the 22 year history of the Premier League.

A manager asked to be sent off and referee Martin Atkinson duly obliged. Take a bow Di Canio, you never fail to disappoint. Luckily I spoke to him after Sunderland’s controversial 3-1 defeat to Arsenal as he retold his discussion with Mr. Atkinson.

THE WIZARD OF OZ-IL

Meanwhile, as Spurs fans gushed over Christian Eriksen, in the red half of North London, Mesut Ozil was busy tearing it up on his debut. The German international looked like yawning for the entire first half as he ripped open Sunderland at will. He looks like an Arsenal player, knowing where to pass the ball before he even receives it, flicks, tricks, he’s got the lot. And he does it all with such nonchalance that it makes you wonder if he’s even trying. (Think Dennis Bergkamp, but smaller, and German… you get the picture)

His 10th minute assist on Olivier Giroud’s opener was thing of beauty. As Ozil somehow delicately controlled the looping left-wing  pass from Kieran Gibbs out of the air like an experienced ballerina. Watching it live, I haven’t heard a gasp like that at a stadium for quite some time. The wizard of Oz-il had entranced everyone. The ‘King of the Assist’ had worked his magic once again to record his 73rd helper in the last five seasons, as he leads assists over all players in Europe’s top five leagues. At $60million and on this showing, Ozil will turn Arsenal from top four hopefuls to title contenders.

Watch his wizardry.

TOP PERFORMERS

Aaron Ramsey’s name is popping up here on a regular basis now, but he keeps scoring and pushing the Gunners forward from midfield. Another impressive box-to-box display brought this response from Wenger post-game deep in the dungeons of the Stadium of Light. “He has intelligence, a desire to improve and listen. He has a very learning attitude, and he has a fantastic engine.”

Premier League Schedule – Week 4

Result Recap & Highlights
Aston Villa 1-2 Newcastle United Recap and watch here
Everton 1-0 Chelsea Recap and watch here
Fulham 1-1 West Brom Recap and watch here
Hull City 1-1 Cardiff City Recap and watch here
Man United 2-0 Crystal Palace Recap and watch here
Southampton 0-0 West Ham Recap and watch here
Stoke City 0-0 Manchester City Recap and watch here
Sunderland 1-3 Arsenal Recap and watch here
Swansea City 2-2 Liverpool Recap and watch here
Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 Norwich Recap and watch here

Elsewhere, Jussi Jaskealinnen earned West Ham a point at rainy Southampton after pulling off a number of fine saves. The 38-year-old Finn rolled back the years. And Everton’s Gareth Barry, on loan from Man City, shone on his Toffees debut with a workmanlike display that proved just how good he is. Christian Eriksen delighted Tottenham fans (more on that later) and Spurs’ Gylfi Sigurdsson rounds off the top five after two tidy finishes.

TOP FIVE GOALS

Watch them below, Arlo White and the boys on production do the rest to explain the importance, beauty and sheer splendor of these strikes. (Apart from Steven Naismith’s goal, can’t quite understand why that’s in there…)

THE ERIKSEN SHOW

Life without Gareth Bale should make things more difficult for Tottenham Hotspur. But if Christian Eriksen starts as he means to go on, the Danish starlet could be Spurs’ next star. Eriksen was the pick of the debutants as Marouane Felliani did okay in a cameo and Ozil dazzles for the first half and faded in the second, while Samuel Eto’o missed a couple of sitters for Chelsea.

Sneaking in just before the transfer deadline from Ajax for $18million, Andre-Villas Boas told me after the North London derby that he thought he’d got a steal. “Eriksen is a wonderfully creative player,” AVB said. “He is a great solution for our number 10 position. I think Christian brings that flair and creativity that we saw at Ajax for these last few years, great ability to see a pass and a player that is used to playing in a high level in Europe. I am extremely pleased to have him.”

So are all the Tottenham fans, after he single-handedly tore apart Norwich City in the 2-0 win on Saturday. Just watch below. Eriksen, despite his receding hairline at the age of 21, is a young star who is set to shine in the PL this season. Spurs bought Bale from Southampton for $11 million in 2007. Looks like they’ve unearthed another gem in Eriksen. Bargain bucket alert.

REFS GET IT WRONG

Oh dear, oh dear. It wasn’t a good weekend for the officials in the Barclays Premier League. We all have off days, but these guys were all over the place. Where to start… John Moss at Old Trafford on Saturday. His ‘was he, wasn’t he’ routine surrounding the delayed penalty kick he awarded to Manchester United was like a Benny Hill sketch. He didn’t know whether or not to give a penalty and then suddenly decided that ‘yes… it must’ve been…oh, I’ll have to send that bloke off now.” That ‘bloke’ was Crystal Palace midfielder Kagisho Dikgacoi and he was unlucky as the original tackle was outside the box.

Premier League Star Performers

Player Reason
1. Aaron Ramsey (Arsenal) Once again, Arsenal’s hero
2. Christian Eriksen (Spurs) Dane tore Norwich apart
3. J. Jaaskelainen (West Ham) 4 great saves, clean sheet
4. Gareth Barry (Everton) At his solid best, reliable
5. Gylfi Sigurdsson (Spurs) 2 cool finishes to seal win

Then, there was Martin Atkinson’s terrible decision to pull the play back as Jozy Altidore outmuscled Bacary Sagna and tucked the ball into the old onion bag for what he thought was his first Black Cats goal… But poor Jozy didn’t hear the ref’s whistle and was already celebrating behind the goal as Atkinson pulled the play back to give Sagna a yellow card (should have been a red) and Sunderland an unwanted free kick.

Cue pandemonium at the Stadium of Light. Di Canio wasn’t happy.

“10, 8.5, 7 FROM THE SWEDISH JUDGE…”

Those were the marks Ashley Young got from the judges at the European Diving Championships on Saturday. Oh, wait, there was no meet in Manchester, but it would explain Young’s ridiculous dive (watch above) in the first half against Palace. This sort of behavior needs to be eradicated from the game. More on that here.

SOMEONE GIVE JONJO A TISSUE…

Please, someone. Never have I seen such a disconsolate young soul being interviewed following a Premier League game. 21-year-old Shelvey started off so well, he scored Swansea’s opener against his former team Liverpool after just two minutes. But then imploded by handing his old employers two goals (Shhh, conspiracy theorists) however he made amends by setting up Michu for the second half equalizer. Either way, watch the interview below to see how down Jonjo is. It’s as strange as it is absorbing, this youngster has experienced the highs and lows of professional soccer all in a few minutes.

If you see this usually cheeky cockney wallowing in the street this week, go up and give him a hug or something. Chin up, Jonjo.

Mourinho’s agent: Coach paid $27 million in taxes in Spain

LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND - DECEMBER 04:  Jose Mourinho manager of Manchester United stands alongside his substitute Marouane Fellaini of Manchester United during the Premier League match between Everton and Manchester United at Goodison Park on December 4, 2016 in Liverpool, England.  (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)
Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images
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MADRID (AP) Jose Mourinho’s agent says the Manchester United manager paid more than 26 million euros ($27 million) in taxes when he lived in Spain from 2010-13.

The information was made public on Tuesday by Gestifute, a company run by Mourinho’s agent, Jorge Mendes.

[ MORE: Pulisic wanted by Arsenal, Spurs ]

The Portuguese company has been releasing details about its clients’ tax declarations after European media outlets published what they claimed were details of apparent tax arrangements made by top soccer players and coaches, including Mourinho, Cristiano Ronaldo and Mesut Ozil.

Gestifute, which also has Ronaldo as a client, has already published documents allegedly showing that Spanish fiscal authorities have certified that Mourinho and Real Madrid star Ronaldo are “up to date on … obligations.”

Mourinho coached Real Madrid from 2010-13 and took charge of United this season.

Staying in Dallas: New contract for MLS Defender of the Year Hedges

HOUSTON, TX - MARCH 12:  Giles Barnes #10 of the Houston Dynamo battles for the ball with Matt Hedges #24 of FC Dallas during their game at BBVA Compass Stadium on March 12, 2016 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images
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This is going to turn out to be one of the most exciting years of Matt Hedges’ life.

The FC Dallas man lead one of the best back lines in Major League Soccer to the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup and the Supporters’ Shield.

[ MORE: PST talks with Hedges, Zimmerman ]

He’s also likely set for a chance to return to the USMNT fold under new coach Bruce Arena, as Hedges is one of the best players to be largely ignored by Jurgen Klinsmann.

Hedges, 26, was named the MLS Defender of the Year and made the Best XI, and now he’s inked a new long-term deal with FC Dallas.

The four-year deal will keep Hedges in Dallas through his 30th birthday. Capped once, Hedges has 159 appearances with 11 goals for FCD.

Follow @NicholasMendola

Two more Pulisic suitors in North London? USMNT teen in demand

Dortmund's Emre Mor, left, celebrates with Dortmund's Felix Passlack and Dortmund's Christian Pulisic, right, after scoring during the German Bundesliga soccer match between Borussia Dortmund and SV Darmstadt in Dortmund, Germany, Saturday, Sept. 17, 2016. Dortmund defeated Darmstadt with 6-0. (AP Photo/Martin Meissner)
AP Photo/Martin Meissner
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Christian Pulisic is one of the most exciting young prospects in the world.

It’s a statement that isn’t often said without hyperbole when it comes to American standouts, but the 18-year-old Borussia Dortmund man has seen his names in the gossip pages a few times this year.

While Liverpool has often been the destination, Italian site Calcio Mercato says Premier League interest is wider than Merseyside. The clubs? Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur.

[ VOTE: Who should win USMNT player of year? ]

Dortmund doesn’t want to sell the youngster, who is locked up through 2019. The whispered price has been $31 million at a minimum, but perhaps BVB would be tempted given their wealth of young attacking options.

Pulisic has made 27 appearances for Borussia Dortmund, nabbing four goals and six assists. He has 11 caps and three goals for the USMNT as well.

Follow @NicholasMendola

Real Madrid asks for “utmost respect” to Ronaldo following tax drama

BARCELONA, SPAIN - DECEMBER 03:  Cristiano Ronaldo of Real Madrid reacts after missing a chance during the La Liga  match between FC Barcelona and Real Madrid CF at Camp Nou on December 3, 2016 in Barcelona, Spain.  (Photo by David Ramos/Getty Images)
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Cristiano Ronaldo had been linked with massive tax evasion, but Real Madrid would ask you to kindly go back to treating him like a king now that he’s proven his innocence.

In a move usually reserved for politicians aiming for high office, Ronaldo’s agent released some of his tax documents to prove everything’s above board.

It all looks good, unlike what befell Neymar and Lionel Messi, so back off, huh?

[ MORE: Wednesday’s Champions League preview ]

From Real Madrid:

In view of the stories published over recent days and in consideration of the certificate issued by the Spanish Tax Agency which confirms that our player Cristiano Ronaldo is up to date with all of his tax obligations, Real Madrid C. F. call for the utmost respect to be shown towards Cristiano Ronaldo, whose conduct has been absolutely exemplary throughout all of his time at our club.

Only the utmost for CR7.

Real Madrid hosts Borussia Dortmund on Wednesday in a match which will decide Group F of the UEFA Champions League.

Follow @NicholasMendola