Premier League Playback: The Wizard of Oz-il, refs get it wrong and sad Jonjo Shelvey

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“COMPLETE THE PERFECT JOB… SEND ME OFF”

“The problem is he [the referee] told me, ‘If you keep going with your manner, I send you off. I send you up to the stand,’”, Paolo Di Canio said. “My mistake was that I invited him and say, ‘that if you want to complete the perfect job today, you have to send me off.’ And then he said ‘go off.’”

I am not going to check the stats on this one, because this was a first in the 22 year history of the Premier League.

A manager asked to be sent off and referee Martin Atkinson duly obliged. Take a bow Di Canio, you never fail to disappoint. Luckily I spoke to him after Sunderland’s controversial 3-1 defeat to Arsenal as he retold his discussion with Mr. Atkinson.

THE WIZARD OF OZ-IL

Meanwhile, as Spurs fans gushed over Christian Eriksen, in the red half of North London, Mesut Ozil was busy tearing it up on his debut. The German international looked like yawning for the entire first half as he ripped open Sunderland at will. He looks like an Arsenal player, knowing where to pass the ball before he even receives it, flicks, tricks, he’s got the lot. And he does it all with such nonchalance that it makes you wonder if he’s even trying. (Think Dennis Bergkamp, but smaller, and German… you get the picture)

His 10th minute assist on Olivier Giroud’s opener was thing of beauty. As Ozil somehow delicately controlled the looping left-wing  pass from Kieran Gibbs out of the air like an experienced ballerina. Watching it live, I haven’t heard a gasp like that at a stadium for quite some time. The wizard of Oz-il had entranced everyone. The ‘King of the Assist’ had worked his magic once again to record his 73rd helper in the last five seasons, as he leads assists over all players in Europe’s top five leagues. At $60million and on this showing, Ozil will turn Arsenal from top four hopefuls to title contenders.

Watch his wizardry.

TOP PERFORMERS

Aaron Ramsey’s name is popping up here on a regular basis now, but he keeps scoring and pushing the Gunners forward from midfield. Another impressive box-to-box display brought this response from Wenger post-game deep in the dungeons of the Stadium of Light. “He has intelligence, a desire to improve and listen. He has a very learning attitude, and he has a fantastic engine.”

Premier League Schedule – Week 4

Result Recap & Highlights
Aston Villa 1-2 Newcastle United Recap and watch here
Everton 1-0 Chelsea Recap and watch here
Fulham 1-1 West Brom Recap and watch here
Hull City 1-1 Cardiff City Recap and watch here
Man United 2-0 Crystal Palace Recap and watch here
Southampton 0-0 West Ham Recap and watch here
Stoke City 0-0 Manchester City Recap and watch here
Sunderland 1-3 Arsenal Recap and watch here
Swansea City 2-2 Liverpool Recap and watch here
Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 Norwich Recap and watch here

Elsewhere, Jussi Jaskealinnen earned West Ham a point at rainy Southampton after pulling off a number of fine saves. The 38-year-old Finn rolled back the years. And Everton’s Gareth Barry, on loan from Man City, shone on his Toffees debut with a workmanlike display that proved just how good he is. Christian Eriksen delighted Tottenham fans (more on that later) and Spurs’ Gylfi Sigurdsson rounds off the top five after two tidy finishes.

TOP FIVE GOALS

Watch them below, Arlo White and the boys on production do the rest to explain the importance, beauty and sheer splendor of these strikes. (Apart from Steven Naismith’s goal, can’t quite understand why that’s in there…)

THE ERIKSEN SHOW

Life without Gareth Bale should make things more difficult for Tottenham Hotspur. But if Christian Eriksen starts as he means to go on, the Danish starlet could be Spurs’ next star. Eriksen was the pick of the debutants as Marouane Felliani did okay in a cameo and Ozil dazzles for the first half and faded in the second, while Samuel Eto’o missed a couple of sitters for Chelsea.

Sneaking in just before the transfer deadline from Ajax for $18million, Andre-Villas Boas told me after the North London derby that he thought he’d got a steal. “Eriksen is a wonderfully creative player,” AVB said. “He is a great solution for our number 10 position. I think Christian brings that flair and creativity that we saw at Ajax for these last few years, great ability to see a pass and a player that is used to playing in a high level in Europe. I am extremely pleased to have him.”

So are all the Tottenham fans, after he single-handedly tore apart Norwich City in the 2-0 win on Saturday. Just watch below. Eriksen, despite his receding hairline at the age of 21, is a young star who is set to shine in the PL this season. Spurs bought Bale from Southampton for $11 million in 2007. Looks like they’ve unearthed another gem in Eriksen. Bargain bucket alert.

REFS GET IT WRONG

Oh dear, oh dear. It wasn’t a good weekend for the officials in the Barclays Premier League. We all have off days, but these guys were all over the place. Where to start… John Moss at Old Trafford on Saturday. His ‘was he, wasn’t he’ routine surrounding the delayed penalty kick he awarded to Manchester United was like a Benny Hill sketch. He didn’t know whether or not to give a penalty and then suddenly decided that ‘yes… it must’ve been…oh, I’ll have to send that bloke off now.” That ‘bloke’ was Crystal Palace midfielder Kagisho Dikgacoi and he was unlucky as the original tackle was outside the box.

Premier League Star Performers

Player Reason
1. Aaron Ramsey (Arsenal) Once again, Arsenal’s hero
2. Christian Eriksen (Spurs) Dane tore Norwich apart
3. J. Jaaskelainen (West Ham) 4 great saves, clean sheet
4. Gareth Barry (Everton) At his solid best, reliable
5. Gylfi Sigurdsson (Spurs) 2 cool finishes to seal win

Then, there was Martin Atkinson’s terrible decision to pull the play back as Jozy Altidore outmuscled Bacary Sagna and tucked the ball into the old onion bag for what he thought was his first Black Cats goal… But poor Jozy didn’t hear the ref’s whistle and was already celebrating behind the goal as Atkinson pulled the play back to give Sagna a yellow card (should have been a red) and Sunderland an unwanted free kick.

Cue pandemonium at the Stadium of Light. Di Canio wasn’t happy.

“10, 8.5, 7 FROM THE SWEDISH JUDGE…”

Those were the marks Ashley Young got from the judges at the European Diving Championships on Saturday. Oh, wait, there was no meet in Manchester, but it would explain Young’s ridiculous dive (watch above) in the first half against Palace. This sort of behavior needs to be eradicated from the game. More on that here.

SOMEONE GIVE JONJO A TISSUE…

Please, someone. Never have I seen such a disconsolate young soul being interviewed following a Premier League game. 21-year-old Shelvey started off so well, he scored Swansea’s opener against his former team Liverpool after just two minutes. But then imploded by handing his old employers two goals (Shhh, conspiracy theorists) however he made amends by setting up Michu for the second half equalizer. Either way, watch the interview below to see how down Jonjo is. It’s as strange as it is absorbing, this youngster has experienced the highs and lows of professional soccer all in a few minutes.

If you see this usually cheeky cockney wallowing in the street this week, go up and give him a hug or something. Chin up, Jonjo.

Frank de Boer named new Crystal Palace manager

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The Eagles have gone Dutch.

Crystal Palace appointed Frank de Boer as its new manager Monday, announcing the Dutch legend has signed a three-year deal at Selhurst Park.

De Boer, 47, previously won four consecutive Dutch titles in charge of Ajax from 2010-16 before a less successful spell in charge of Inter Milan last season as he lasted just three months (and just 14 matches) in charge of the Italian giants.

“I am thrilled to be appointed as manager of Crystal Palace Football Club. It is a great honor to take charge of such an historic club, a club that is known around the world for its hugely proud and passionate fan base,” De Boer said. “This role is a hugely exciting opportunity for me, and I cannot wait to get started in the Premier League with the players and staff here in south London.”

There’s no doubt De Boer’s playing career means he will demand the utmost respect from Palace’s players — he won five Dutch titles, a UEFA Champions League and Europa League at Ajax, a Spanish title at Barcelona and was capped 112 times by the Netherlands — but adapting to a new league may be difficult for the Dutchman, although he did spend time with Glasgow Rangers and had stops in Turkey and Qatar during his illustrious playing career. He’s no stranger to change.

Palace chairman Steve Parish revealed that De Boer’s arrival aligns with the ambitious plans for the club who also aim to develop their young players.

“We have undertaken a thorough interview process to ensure we are in a position to appoint a manager of the caliber and experience that Frank brings with him,” Parish said. “I am pleased to welcome him to Crystal Palace and I know he cannot wait to get started and prepare for our record breaking fifth season in the top flight.”

After Sam Allardyce announced his retirement at the end of the 2016-17 season after keeping Crystal Palace up in the Premier League, the Eagles have been searching for a new boss diligently. Parish is said to have favored former Hull boss Marco Silva to take charge of the south London club, but Silva opted for Watford.

Palace stretched out their managerial search with Mauricio Pellegrino, appointed by Southampton on Friday, also on their shortlist, but De Boer has now arrived to take charge of the ambitious London club.

With big money spent on the likes of Christian Benteke and Yohan Cabaye in recent seasons, the Eagles were supposed to be challenging for a top 10 finish. The past two seasons they’ve flirted with relegation under Alan Pardew and then Allardyce, with new American majority owners Josh Harris and David Blitzer yet to see the success they’d hoped for.

De Boer stated he would give every player at Palace a chance before making signings, but judging by the inconsistent displays by a squad largely built by Pardew and then patched up by Allardyce the Dutch coach will have a big job on his hands to turn the squad around and create a new identity for the Eagles.

He is a big name in the soccer world and Palace’s passionate fans will no doubt be excited by the prospect of De Boer bringing a new possession-based playing philosophy to Selhurst Park.

Alexis Sanchez, Sergio Aguero swap deal in place?

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A huge swap deal for two of the Premier League’s biggest stars is reportedly being discussed.

[ MORE: Mourinho’s father dies ]

The Daily Star reports that Alexis Sanchez and Sergio Aguero could involved in a swap deal between Arsenal and Manchester City this summer.

Per the report, the deal would be a straight-swap and when you think about it for a moment, it would be the perfect solution for almost everyone involved and with Aguero aged 29 and Sanchez 28, it’s a close to a perfect swap as you’ll find for both clubs.

The South American superstars are both in tough situations with their current teams, but this would also be a tough deal to get done.

Arsenal do not want to sell Sanchez, especially to a Premier League rival, but with the Chilean superstar having just 12 months left on his contract his transfer value is rapidly diminishing each week he doesn’t sign a new deal. And with Aguero dropped by Pep Guardiola on multiple occasions last season despite scoring 33 times in all competitions, the Argentine would get the chance to be the main man at Arsenal.

Everything should be on board with this, right?

Well, Aguero would have to sacrifice UEFA Champions League action for at least one season with Arsenal in the UEFA Europa League in 2017-18 which could throw a considerable spanner in the works of this rather outrageous deal. However, Arsenal would be getting one of the greatest finishers of his generation, and in Premier League history, which would mean they’d finally have the prolific forward they need to finish off the multiple gilt-edged chances per game they create.

Wenger went after Jamie Vardy last summer but failed and with Danny Welbeck, Olivier Giroud and Theo Walcott around, all three are far from prolific. Aguero would be one of the missing pieces of the jigsaw for Arsenal but both clubs would argue they’d want to keep their stars and add the other. The only way City would be able to add Sanchez is if they offer up Aguero.

Sanchez was signed by Guardiola at Barcelona and the Chilean would perfectly slot into City’s fluid front three alongside Gabriel Jesus, Leroy Sane and Raheem Sterling. Aguero didn’t fit that system well last season and despite Pep stating the Argentine striker would be at the club in 2017-18, you have to think he’d pick Alexis over Aguero.

Although this swap deal seems to suit almost everyone, it still seems incredibly far-fetched. That said, both Premier League clubs would save face in losing a star name and financially there would be no huge losses.

Hmmm. The more you think about it, the more this makes sense.

Jose Mourinho’s father dies in Portugal

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Jose Mourinho’s father has passed away at the age of 79.

Vitoria Setubal confirmed in a statement that Felix Mourinho had died in Portugal and will be buried in the City of Setubal, 25 miles south of Lisbon, on Tuesday.

No cause of death has been given.

Mourinho’s father played as a goalkeeper for Vitoria Setubal before going on to be a coach and club director, while also playing for the Portuguese national team in 1972.

Felix won the Portuguese cup in 1965 and heavily influenced Mourinho’s career with Jose scouting for his father and observing his training sessions from an early age.

The Manchester United manager, who has won the UEFA Champions League with FC Porto and Inter Milan, as well as domestic titles in Portugal, England, Italy and Spain, posted the following photo of himself and his father on Instagram late Sunday but didn’t include a comment.

A post shared by Jose Mourinho (@josemourinho) on

Several of Jose Mourinho’s former clubs have also passed on their condolences to Mourinho via their social media accounts.

Dempsey, Sounders steal a point on wild night in Portland

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The game in 100 words (or less): An entire game can change in the blink of an eye. For the Seattle Sounders, that blink came in the 44th minute of Sunday’s 2-2 draw with the Portland Timbers. Up 1-0 by way of Joevin Jones’ opener in the 27th minute, the defending MLS Cup champs were poised to head into halftime with a one-goal advantage and every belief imaginable that they’d been the better team for the entire first half. Blink. Brad Evans wrapped his legs around Darlington Nagbe, giving away a penalty and earning himself a red card, just like that, in the blink of an eye. Fanendo Adi stepped up to convert from the spot, but it still was to be a hard-fought 1-1 scoreline from Seattle’s perspective. Then, Dairon Asprilla got loose, completely unmarked atop the six-yard box, on a corner kick, and it was 2-1 after four minutes of first-half stoppage time. 45 more minutes pass, and the Timbers… blink. Clint Dempsey, 34 years old but fresh off the bench 40 minutes earlier, out-leaps everyone in the box and heads past Jake Gleeson to steal a point for Seattle.

[ MORE: San Jose fire Kinnear after 2.5 seasons ]

Three Four moments that mattered

27′ — Jones gets two chances, puts the second away — It’s a classic case of “I dropped my controller” from Alvas Powell, who just stops as Jones cuts across the penalty area. There’s no reason Jones should get a second look on this one.

44′ — Evans brings down Nagbe in the box, sees red — Goodbye, lead. Goodbye 11 versus 11. Things would unravel very quickly for Seattle.

45+4′ — Asprilla rises above to make it 2-1 — Seattle’s marking of Asprilla was nonexistent, and the Colombian showed off some serious hops to get his head to David Guzman’s corner kick.

90+4′ — Dempsey heads home deep in stoppage time — A costly turnover by Asprilla, a hit-it-and-pray cross by Roman Torres, and Dempsey snatches a point at the death.

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s MLS coverageStandings | Stats | Schedule ]

Man of the match: Cristian Roldan

Goalscorers: Jones (27′), Adi (45′ – PK), Asprilla (45+4′), Dempsey (90+4′)