Fulham v Blackpool - Premier League

Time defeats tradition as Fulham’s MJ statue comes down


Traditions become traditions the same way that people win dance marathons. Traditions simply outlast detractors. A tradition simply keep going, through all of the “that’s stupid” and “we should stop doing that” and “can’t we just find something new?” that everyone casts its way. Tradition’s aren’t necessarily SMARTER or BETTER than the fads that disappear. Traditions are just more stubborn.

I remember the first time I heard Kansas’ “Rock Chalk Jayhawk” chant. It is really kind of a creepy thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love it for the history and the passion it evokes, it’s absolutely one of my favorite things in college sports. But objectively, let’s be honest here, it’s a bit disturbing, you know, the way everyone does those yoga motions and moans “RAAAAAAAAACK … CHAWWWWWWWWWWK …. JAYYYYYY … HAWWWWWWWWK …. KAAYYYYYYY … YUUUUUUUUUUUUU.” If you saw and heard people doing that anywhere but a basketball game, you’d be convinced you walked in on a weird cult meeting.

But it has lasted. They’ve been chanting Rock Chalk Jayhawk since the 1880s. At no point through it all has one generation of kids said, “Naw, let’s try something else.” That’s what makes it a tradition. Conversely, a few years ago Kansas tried this other chant where they brought out a garbage can they called “The Sound Machine” and told fans to cheer when the lid was open and stop the instant the lid was closed. If I remember right, they called it “Kansas’ newest basketball tradition.” This game but absurd effort lasted exactly one game.

MORE: Michael Jackson statue set to be removed from Fulham FC

Was the Sound Machine any less viable a concept than Rock Chalk Jayhawk? Maybe, maybe not. But it did not come close to standing the tradition time test.

That’s really what’s happening. A tradition time test. A tradition survival of the fittest. Time is a harsh judge. When I was a kid, we used to attack each other with various insults based on “Welcome Back Kotter’s” classic “Up your nose with a rubber hose” banter. You know: In your ear with a chandelier. In your face with a a brown briefcase. Up your butt with a … we fully expected that stuff to last forever. Shockingly it did not. Time took one look at that bit of stupidity and said, “Um, let me just erase that nonsense from the world as soon as possible.”

Time defeated parachute pants. Time defeated golf knickers. Time defeated the tennis victor leaping over the net and baseball players leaving their gloves out in the field between innings. Time defeated people dressing up and wearing cool hats to sporting events. Time defeated barefooted kickers and long hook shots and high jumpers who tried to leap forward over the bar and the Macarena. Charlie Finley gave the Kansas City A’s a mule mascot named Charlie-O. Time stepped in. Bill Veeck tried to dress up the White Sox in shorts. Time stepped in. The Yankees used to play “Cotton Eyed Joe” at every seventh-inning stretch. Time stepped in.

But here’s the other side of time: Once something DOES defeat time, once it crosses that finish line and become a tradition — not unlike that cartoon bill becoming a law in “Schoolhouse Rocks” — it becomes pretty close to invulnerable. Take the Washington football team. They’re just sticking with the name. They know the history. They know the meaning. They know that Washington Hogs would be such an awesome name. Doesn’t matter. It’s a tradition. And like all traditions, once they’re in, they’re in. Traditions get “Favored nation” status. Time has been trying to wipe out the wave for decades … hasn’t done it yet.

All of which leads to this sad bit of news: They’re moving the Michael Jackson outside the stadium at Fulham of the Premier League.

I like Fulham. A few years ago, I asked Brilliant Readers to send in their suggestions for which Premier League team I should root for, and the Fulham fans were convincing. Fulham is the friendly team in London. While Tottenham and Arsenal rage at each other and Chelsea spends billions of dollars, Fulham just plugs happily along at Craven Cottage, the Wrigley Field of England, which is charming and old and right by the River Thames. Everyone has a good time. Fulham has never actually won a Premier League championship or any other major trophies, but they keep going, happy to be a part of things. optimistic that someday they’ll have their big moment, welcoming to all. They are the only Premier League team to have a section reserved for neutral fans who just want to enjoy themselves. Yes, I like Fulham a lot.

About two and a half years ago, they put this Michael Jackson statue outside Craven Cottage. It’s not a statue as you might imagine one would look outside a stately place like Craven Cottage — you know, made of white stone or dark bronze or whatever. No, really, it looks more like something you would see in Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum. It’s colorful and gaudy, MJ is holding a microphone and wearing one glove and tight pants and apparently is about to moonwalk.*

*Another tradition time defeated — we used to try and moonwalk all the time!

The statue is there because Fulham’s former chairman, Mohammed Al-Fayed, wanted it there. He was friends with Michael Jackson. He brought Michael Jackson to a Fulham game, I guess, or maybe even more than one, and the King of Pop had a good time or something. To be honest with you, I don’t see why this kind of madness doesn’t happen more in sports. If I spent hundreds of millions (or a billion) to buy a sports team, you better believe I would do all kind of crazy stuff like this. I’d put statues of Bugs Bunny and Duane Kuiper and Ric Flair at the entrance. I’d have them play “Badlands” twice every game. I’d have my baseball players wear those old wool uniforms and my basketball players wear those really short 1970s shorts every so often. The question to me is not how Bill Veeck or Charlie Finley ever got to own baseball teams. The question is why there haven’t been many more like them.

Anyway, Al-Fayed loved Michael Jackson, and he wanted to do something to honor his memory, and so he had this statue done and placed outside the stadium. It made no sense to anyone. I doubt that there’s a clash at any sports venue in the world quite like that ridiculous Michael Jackson statue outside charming old Craven Cottage. It would be like putting a giant Rubik’s Cube outside Fenway Park or a statue of a box of Jujubes outside Lambeau Field. It was patently ridiculous, and there was an uproar about it for a while … but that’s the amazing thing about being the owner. Nobody really could do anything about it. Al-Fayed wanted a Michael Jackson statue there. And so there was a Michael Jackson statue there.

This year, Al-Fayed sold the team to American automobile parts mogul Shahid Khan — who also owns the Jacksonville Jaguars — and almost immediately questions about the statue came up. Khan, apparently, had no idea what kind of hailstorm he had entered. He seemed to be leaning toward taking it down. Al-Fayed said if Khan even tried it, he would personally come and shave off Khan’s somewhat famous mustache. Then there was some indecision. Some worry. Khan at one point talked about praying for answers. He seemed generally distraught about it all.

And here’s the thing: I was kind of rooting for the statue to stay. It’s not that I like the statue — I don’t. It’s not like I think it belongs — I don’t. But the way I figure it, if that statue could have lasted for even five more years, it had a real shot of becoming a tradition. And once that happened, it would have to stay. People would get used to it. More, they would unconsciously begin to accept it. And then, even people who DESPISE it would fight for it. It would be a tradition. For generations of kids, that weird Michael Jackson statue by one of England’s most cherished stadiums would not represent the King of Pop but instead it would be a symbol of Fulham soccer. It would come to represent not the Thriller video and Billie Jean and the 1980s and general strangeness but great goals and outings with family and spectacular victories and horrible defeats.

Alas, it is not to be. Apparently the statue is moving to one of Al-Fayed’s countless other properties. They got rid of it just in time, just before it started to stubbornly become a tradition. And so instead of becoming an odd but gradually beloved part of Fulham Football, it will instead be remembered as this extremely weird thing one of Fulham’s more eccentric chairmen did back around 2011 or 2012. And time wins again.

Julian Green’s historic first start, goal for Bayern Munich

Julian Green, Bayern Munich (Photo credit: Bundesliga / Twitter)
Photo credit: Bundesliga / Twitter
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FRANKFURT, Germany (AP) United States international Julian Green scored in his first official start as title holder Bayern Munich eased to a 3-1 win over Augsburg to reach the third round of the German Cup on Wednesday.

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s USMNT coverage ]

Green’s first goal in a competition match for Bayern came in the 42nd minute with a header off a cross by Thomas Mueller.

The 21-year-old American winger played in the previous German Cup round, coming off the bench in a 5-0 win over Carl-Zeiss Jena. Green has been in coach Carlo Ancelotti’s squad several times this season but this was his first start.

Green made headlines by scoring a hat trick against Inter Milan in a pre-season tour of the United States, then scored in back-to-back matches for the United States against Cuba and New Zealand.

[ MORE: MLS Power Rankings — Going to the playoffs edition ]

Ancelotti left many of his regulars on the bench against Augsburg and Green got his chance.

Another player made a comeback with defender Holger Badstuber coming off the bench late in the match. Badstuber had not played since an ankle injury in February.

Bayern, an 18-time German Cup winner, went ahead through Philipp Lahm in the second minute and David Alaba completed the victory in injury time.

[ MORE: MLS Cup predictions ]

Ji Dong-won had cut Augusburg’s deficit with fine angled shot above Manuel Neuer’s arms into the roof of the net in the 69th.

Both teams missed penalties, with Mueller shooting high for Bayern and Neuer saving the spot-kick taken by Koo Ja-cheol.

EFL Cup QF draw: Man United-West Ham; Arsenal-Saints in all-PL ties

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 23:  The League Cup trophy on display prior to the Capital One Cup third round match between Tottenham Hotspur and Arsenal at White Hart Lane on September 23, 2015 in London, England.  (Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images)
Photo by Ian Walton/Getty Images
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Following the conclusion of Wednesday’s Manchester derby in the fourth round of the 2016-17 EFL Cup, the draw for the quarterfinal round presented a pair of all-Premier League clashes.

[ MORE: All of PST’s PL coverage ]

Manchester United will take on West Ham United at Old Trafford, while Arsenal will welcome Southampton to the Emirates Stadium. All quarterfinal fixtures will be played the week commencing Nov. 28.

As for the other two matchups, Liverpool host Leeds United at Anfield, and Hull City will face one of the three clubs they replaced in the PL this season, recently relegated Newcastle United, at the KCOM Stadium.

Full EFL Cup quarterfinal draw

Liverpool vs. Leeds United
Manchester United vs. West Ham
Hull City vs. Newcastle United
Arsenal vs. Southampton

EFL Cup: Mourinho beats Guardiola; Chelsea fall to West Ham

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 26: Jose Mourinho, Manager of Manchester United (L) and Josep Guardiola, Manager of Manchester City (R) embrace prior to kick off during the EFL Cup fourth round match between Manchester United and Manchester City at Old Trafford on October 26, 2016 in Manchester, England.  (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images
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The EFL Cup quarterfinal field is set following the completion of three more fourth-round clashes on Wednesday. Manchester United, West Ham United and Southampton join the likes of Arsenal and Liveprool in the final eight. Results of the quarterfinal draw can be found here.

[ MORE: All of PST’s PL coverage ]

Manchester United 1-0 Manchester City

Not all Manchester derbies are created equally. If you watched all 90 minutes of Wednesday’s clash at Old Trafford, that’s undoubtedly your first takeaway.

Clear-cut scoring chances were very few and very far between, particularly in the first half. United had the better of the opening 45 minutes — by the narrowest of margins — but failed to hit paydirt. Attrition Persistence paid off not long into the second half, though, as Juan Mata finished a scrappy bit of build-up from 12 yards out. Zlatan Ibrahimovic tallied the assist on the goal, as Ander Herrera should also so for clearing out the penalty area with a strong shoulder into the back of Fernando.

City failed to register a single shot on target over the course of 90 minutes, as Pep Guardiola‘s side slumps to six games without a victory (all competitions), alternating draws and losses through. As for Guadriola’s personal duel with Jose Mourinho, the rivals each have one victory against the other since arriving in Manchester, with Guardiola taking the first in Premier League play.

[ MORE: Tuesday’s EFL Cup roundup — Liverpool, Arsenal move on ]

West Ham United 2-1 Chelsea

Cheikhou Kouyate and Edimilson Fernandes fired Slaven Bilic‘s West Ham past Antonio Conte‘s Chelsea at the London Stadium, as both managers opted for a mix between first-team and reserve players. It was 2-0 until the final minute of regular time, when Gary Cahill pulled one back for Chelsea, but that’s as close as they would get.

The game was, once again, marred by unsavory scenes in the stands inside West Ham’s new ground, as Blues fans in the away end clashed with Hammers supproters seated closest to them.

Southampton 1-0 Sunderland

Sofiane Boufal made his first start for Southampton since becoming the club’s new record signing this summer, and marked his full debut with a stunning goal, the only one of the game, as Saints topped Sunderland at the St. Mary’s Stadium.

Drogba likely out for Impact playoff clash with D.C. United

Montreal Impact forward Didier Drogba heads the ball in front of D.C. United midfielder Marcelo Sarvas during the second half of an MLS soccer match Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2016, in Montreal. (Paul Chiasson/The Canadian Press via AP)
Paul Chiasson/The Canadian Press via AP
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Superstar forward Didier Drogba‘s absence from the Montreal Impact roster is unlikely to end in Thursday’s Eastern Conference knockout-round playoff match against host D.C. United.

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Despite scoring 10 goals in 22 appearances, Drogba hasn’t played since the end of September – partly due to a feud over playing time with manager Mauro Biello and more recently because of a back ailment.

The 38-year-old Ivory Coast international and former Chelsea striker sat out most of training again on Tuesday. Multiple media outlets on Wednesday reported that he did not make the trip to Washington.

[ MORE: Power rankings — Going to the playoffs edition ]

“I don’t think those chances will be good,” Biello said Tuesday, according to MLSSoccer.com. “He hasn’t trained, he still feels a discomfort, so the chances are very minimal.”

Drogba is out of contract at the end of the season, and fifth-seeded Montreal is actually 6-3-3 this season when he doesn’t play.

In the latter third of the campaign, Biello appeared to be more comfortable starting mid-season loan signing Matteo Mancosu at forward and bringing Drogba off the bench. The 31-year-old Italian has three goals and four assists in 15 appearances (seven starts).

[ MORE: MLS Cup predictions ]

“(Drogba’s) a different player than Mancosu, but I don’t think much is going to change if they swap one for the other,” D.C. United coach Ben Olsen said, according to MLSSoccer.com. “So the way we go about the game isn’t going to change.”

By contrast, fourth-seeded D.C. United have very few questions surrounding their personnel for a group that had won four straight before sitting most of its regulars in a 4-2 loss at Orlando City SC on Sunday.

[ MORE: The case for (and against) every team in the East | The West ]

Midfielder Marcelo Sarvas (knee) and outside back Sean Franklin (calf) made their first appearances since September on Sunday, but seem unlikely to supplant anyone in Olsen’s starting lineup.

“We like our group,” Olsen told reporters Tuesday. “But those two players are very influential to the team. These are good choices to have, and I’m certainly not going to tell you who I’m starting.”