2014 World Cup

The best night ever in CONCACAF qualifying? How the historic drama unfolded on Twitter …

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A trio of matches in the final night of regional qualifying kicked off simultaneously in Panama City, Panama, in Kingston, Jamaica and in San Jose Costa Rica:

It all started at 9:30 p.m. ET … but it didn’t really start until Panama’s Gabriel Torres (who plays in MLS for the Colorado Rapids) curled a real beauty past U.S. goalkeeper Brad Guzan. And the night was on!

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And then it was Costa Rica’s turn, as things got worse and worse for Mexico. Remember, this was the sum of all awfulness for Mexico … El Tri trailed while Panama led, which meant Mexico out of the World Cup.

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But Mexico lives! Oribe Peralta bangs one off the underside of the crossbar. It’s Costa Rica 1, Mexico 1 … which means Mexico has the fourth spot and the playoff, for the time being, at least.

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The Mexicans are in it … but their fallen hero, Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez, is having a Costa Rican nightmare. In fact, his whole final round of World Cup qualifying has been one big bag of nothing.

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And lest we forget about Los Catrachos, who needed only a draw in Jamaica to qualify for their second consecutive World Cup: Maynor Figueroa has scored to put his team ahead of the home team, 2-1. This is getting fun, eh?

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Now it’s halftime at all three spots. The United States is missing six or seven starters, but the backups should be holding up a little better against Panama, the side with all the motivation. Credit to Panama, though. And at least the United States looks better than Mexico … which looks absolutely nothing like a team that deserves to be in the World Cup.

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Thing is, the real craziness is just getting started. Rafa Marquez tries to stomp his way into the World Cup — only a Costa Rican player happens to be on the bottom of this stomping shenanigan. It’s another ridiculous moment from a guy whose career is full of them.

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Not long after, Chicharito answers the growing Chicharito question: he gets a yellow card for a little dust-up off the ball inside Costa Rica’s penalty area:

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Holy Cow! Michael Orozco scores a goal for the United States down in Costa Rica. He’s the same guy that scored a goal last year when the United States beat Mexico at Azteca Stadium, a historic win for Jurgen Klinsmann and his team.

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It would be “Advantage, Mexico.” But almost simultaneously, Real Salt Lake and Costa Rican goal-getter Alvaro Saborio gets free inside the penalty area, heading past a helpless Mexican goalkeeper. And who was waaaay out of position?

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So … uh … wait … who is in the World Cup from our CONCACAF region at this point? … It’s the United States and, uh … so confusing … Can Canada still get in?

Thing is, the madness is just getting started.

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Seriously, at this point Mexico trails to a Costa Rican team with nothing really to play for (having already qualified). And yet, it’s Mexico and not Panama in that fourth-place playoff. SI.com’s Grant Wahl has a good idea (just as we get a little goal-mouth action in San Jose):

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Oh, for the accountants out there, don’t forget about the massive financial implications. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just conflicted:

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Or, are we? Conflicted, that is. More and more, people are suggesting that Mexico doesn’t deserve further World Cup opportunity. After all, Costa Rica looks far more likely to score a third goal than Mexico does to getting an equalizer.

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And then “it” happened. Luis Tejada scores for Panama, which leads the United States, 2-1. So at this point, with about 15 minutes remaining, the CONCACAF automatic qualifiers are the United States, Costa Rica and Honduras, with Panama in position for fourth-place and that playoff against New Zealand. Yes, it is stretching the realms of belief.

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Who doesn’t love them some Andres Cantor, who is alerting Mexico-Costa Rica viewers of the critical happenings in Panama City with an unmistakable urgency:

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And did we mention we love these simultaneous kickoffs for final day. We’re looking at you, Major League Soccer. Make this thing happen! It’s better than ketchup on french fries, sweeter than Vermont maple, more outstanding than … well, you get the idea:

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So it looks like … wait … WHAT? Graham Zusi shatters Panamanian hearts. The home team was riding out a 2-1 win, dreaming the World Cup dream, minding its own doggone business when Zusi puts Mexico back into play in the World Cup.

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Don’t forget, that home-and-away series with Mexico is going to make a whole bunch of TV money here in the United States. Soccer United Marketing, attached to MLS, owns the U.S. rights for Mexico matches.

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It’s still sinking in, even as Aron Johannsson scores another goal for the United States to make the final out of Panama 3-2. But that goal doesn’t really matter for World Cup places. It was Zusi’s tying goal that changed fortunes, setting up this theater of the bizarre, this day the United States kept Mexico alive in a World Cup.

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Well said, sir.

As for the rest of us, the emotions are pouring forth as we all contemplate the best night in CONCACAF qualifying history, the night a bunch of soccer folks fell hopelessly in love. We’ll always have 15-October.

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There really was so, so much more to it all. But that gives you an idea, at least.

We’ll let these two have the last words on a memorable, surreal night:

WATCH: Julian Green bags first-half hat trick for Bayern Munich

Julian Green, Bayern Munich (Photo credit: Bayern Munich / Twitter: @FCBayernEN)
Photo credit: Bayern Munich / Twitter: @FCBayernEN
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Julian Green celebrated his 21st birthday six short weeks ago, which is context that’s easy to forget when a player goes to the World Cup and scores a goal at the age of 19.

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Putting another way, he’s still extremely young and far from a finished footballing product. On Saturday, in the penultimate friendly of Bayern Munich’s preseason, the Tampa Bay-born German-American attacker bagged a first-half hat trick against Inter Milan.

From the deftest of touches on the first goal, to the outside-of-the-box power and precision (with his left foot) on the second, to the authoritative slam home on the third, Green might just be working his way into a regular substitute’s role behind star striker Robert Lewandowski this season.

Saturday marked the second exhibition in which Green scored a goal this preseason, having netted in Ancelotti’s first game in charge, against German fifth-division side SV Lippstadt, two weeks ago.

MLS Snapshot: New York City FC 5-1 Colorado Rapids (video)

New York City FC's Frank Lampard reacts after scoring during the second half of an MLS soccer game against the Montreal Impact, in Montreal, Sunday, July 17, 2016. (Graham Hughes/The Canadian Press via AP)
Graham Hughes/The Canadian Press via AP
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The game in 100 words (or less): No David Villa? No problem, apparently. Playing without their star man — and 2016 Golden Boot leader (13 goals – yellow card accumulation) — New York City FC cruised to a 5-1 drubbing of the Colorado Rapids, who entered Saturday’s contest 15 games without a loss (last loss: April 9). Frank Lampard bagged the first hat trick in NYCFC history, giving the Chelsea legend 10 goals on the season (in just 11 games played). It’s just the fourth home win of the season for NYCFC, who have won more points (19) away from home than any other team in MLS this season. The victory increases NYCFC’s hold on the Eastern Conference’s top spot to five points above the New York Red Bulls. The Rapids, meanwhile, have left the door wide open for the LA Galaxy, winners of four straight, to go second in the Western Conference with a victory over the Seattle Sounders on Sunday.

[ MORE: Previewing the weekend in MLS ]

Three Four moments that mattered 

28′ — Lampard turns it home at the far post — Few, if any, of Lampard’s goals this season have been beauties, but he just keeps on scoring. Nothing else really matters, especially as NYCFC keep winning.

37′ — Azira sees a second yellow — There was little question about the card-worthiness of Michael Azira’s open-field take-down of Jack Harrison, and just like that, the Rapids found themselves a goal down, and a man down.

42′ — Taylor beats Howard for 2-0 — One chance, two chances, three chances. The Rapids seemed content on allowing the home side however many looks they needed to make it 2-0. Eventually, Tony Taylor finished the job.

81′ — Lampard finishes a counter, and the beat-down — So, that thing I said about the “quality” of Lampard’s goals this season. Scratch that thought.

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Man of the match: Frank Lampard

Goalscorers: Lampard (28′, 81′, 84′ – PK), Taylor (42′), Mendoza (75′), Gashi (90+2′)

WATCH: Zlatan scores on Man Utd debut; Rooney gets two as Man United win big

Manchester United, with Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Photo credit: Manchester United / Twitter: @ManUtd)
Photo credit: Manchester United / Twitter: @ManUtd
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Zlatan Ibrahimovic is off and running for Manchester United.

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The big Swede was fully expected to immediately provide a Zlatan-sized impact from the outset of his time in the Premier League, but four minutes into his Man United tenure? It was unthinkably quick, even by Zlatan’s otherworldly standards and expectations. Good to see the scissor-kick make an appearance so far in advance of the PL season, which kicks off two weeks from today.

As for the rest of Jose Mourinho’s Red Devils, seeing Wayne Rooney bag a second-half brace, just three minutes between goals, could well be the most welcome sign of all for the red half of Manchester. His positional deployment on this day? The no. 10 role, just behind Zlatan.

Man United went on to defeat Galatasaray by the final score of 5-2.

New video arrives showing Lloris injured before Eder’s EURO goal

PARIS, FRANCE - JULY 10: Hugo Lloris of France dives in vain as Eder of Portugal scores the opening goal during the UEFA EURO 2016 Final match between Portugal and France at Stade de France on July 10, 2016 in Paris, France.  (Photo by Matthias Hangst/Getty Images)
Photo by Matthias Hangst/Getty Images
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At the risk of tooting my own horn, count me among the few who thought Hugo Lloris might’ve done a bit better on Eder‘s EURO winning goal.

It wasn’t a howler. But the French goalkeeper, one of the best in the world, seemed a tad slow to explode toward the right post when Eder let rip with a new legendary Portuguese shot.

[ MORE: Gameiro joins new club ]

It seems there’s good reason for this, as Lloris was injured just before the goal. Raphael Guerriero bent a gorgeous free kick off the cross bar, as you might remember, one that sent the goalkeeper clattering into the goal post.

This new video shows the Spurs goalkeeper favoring his right side or leg for the next minute, and that’s the leg he uses to drive his body low toward Eder’s bounding shot.

What do you think? Did it make a difference? Or was Eder’s shot plenty good on merit?