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Bundesliga Report: Goals, goals and more goals

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Sick and tired of people talking about how soccer is such a dull sport, with games ending in goalless draws or, at best, with a single goal being the deciding factor? Point those doomsayers in the direction of German football. In the seven matches played thus far in the Bundesliga, there’ve already been 24 goals — that’s more than three per match, in case you’re feeling lazy and don’t want to do any maths.

Read on for a quick glance around the German top division.

Friday

Stuttgart 1-1 Nurnberg
The hosts took an early lead after Niklas Stark brought down Alexandru Maxim inside the area. It was Vedad Ibisevic that put in the resulting penalty, but the Bosnian’s goal was cancelled out three minutes later when Josip Drmic got on the end of a ball from Timothy Chandler to put in the equalizer. Stuttgart fall out of the European places after the draw, and could fall further should Gladbach get a result on Sunday.

Saturday

Bayer Leverkusen 2-1 Augsburg
It looked as though this would be the week Leverkusen would slip up, allowing both Bayern and Dortmund to pull further ahead. Andre Hahn put the visitors ahead, but a goal from Simon Rolfes had Leverkusen even before the break. It was a nervy second half for the hosts, however — at least until Emre Can found the back of the net in the 83rd minute. Leverkusen remain one point behind leaders Bayern Munich, while Augsburg edge closer to the relegation zone.

Bayern Munich 3-2 Hertha Berlin
Newcomers Hertha Berlin got off to a great start at the Allianz Arena, with Adrián Ramos scoring before five minutes had passed. But, as we all know, Bayern Munich don’t much care for that sort of challenge. Mario Mandzukic equalized in the first half, then put the hosts ahead early in the second. Mario Götze added an insurance goal three minutes later — fortunately for Bayern, because Hertha had another in them as well, with Änis Ben-Hatira adding his team’s second.

Hannover 1-4 Hoffenheim 
This was an absolutely brutal match for the hosts, who ultimately finished the game with nine men. Mame Biram Diouf picked up two yellows inside two minutes, putting Hannover down to ten by the 12th minute. Sejad Salihovic had already converted a penalty prior to the sending off, and Kai Herdling added a second shortly after. Somewhat surprisingly, Salif Sané scored to put Hannover back into the match, but then Roberto Firmino put in Hoffenheim’s third, and then their fourth. Marcelo received a straight red with 25 minutes left to play, but by that time Hoffenheim were out of goals.

Mainz 2-0 Braunschweig
Definitely the Bundesliga’s most straightforward match of the weekend. Shinji Okazaki grabbed two, furthering Braunschweig’s misery as they continue to struggle to climb from the bottom of the table.

Schalke 04 1-3 Borussia Dortmund
The Revierderby should’ve been more exciting than this, no? Two Champions League sides going head-to-head? Except Schalke have failed to impress thus far, winning just four of their ten matches. In this one, Kevin-Prince Boateng missed a penalty that would’ve put the hosts on level terms after Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored the opener. Instead, Nuri Sahin grabbed Dortmund’s second before Max Mayer finally knocked one in for Schalke. But Jakub Blaszczykowski put in Dortmund’s third as the visitors claimed victory, both on the pitch and in number of letters used when writing match reports.

Wolfsburg 3-0 Werder Bremen
The two sides were on level terms before the start of the match, but now Wolfsburg sit in fifth, just out of the Champions League places, while Werder Bremen are down in 12th. Maximillian Arnold, Ivica Olic and Ivan Perisic put in the goals for Wolfsburg.

Still to come — Sunday

Freiburg vs. Hamburg
It’s a battle at the bottom, but even a win won’t lift Freiburg out of the drop zone. However, they may feel safer in 16th, as the Bundesliga features a playoff to determine who gets sent down.

Borussia Mönchengladbach vs. Eintracht Frankfurt
A home win will lift Gladbach into fourth place after Hertha fell against Bayern. That’ll make for good revenge after the Foals lost at Hertha just last week. But with Eintracht having drawn their last four, it won’t be easy for the hosts to grab all three points.

FA in “advanced talks” with Tottenham over move to Wembley

LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 04:  An aerial view of Wembley Stadium on November 4, 2009 in London, England. The UK's capital city is home to an population of over 7.5 million people, it has the world's oldest and most extensive underground train network and it's airspace is the busiest of any city.  (Photo by Oli Scarff/Getty Images)
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Tottenham Hotspur look set to play at Wembley Stadium while White Hart Lane is reconstructed.

Spurs will be without a stadium for the entire 2017-18 campaign as their current home will be demolished and a new $600 million stadium holding 61,000 will be built in its place.

[ MORE: Mourinho forced to wait? ]

The Chairman of the English FA, Greg Dyke, believes a deal with Spurs will get over the line soon and he also claims they Spurs are also in talks about playing their UEFA Champions League games at the 90,000 capacity stadium next season.

[ MORE: Leicester news after PL win ]  

Speaking on Sky Sports News in the UK on Thursday, Dyke revealed that talks with Tottenham were at an advanced stage.

“We’re in discussions with Tottenham that they should come in for a full season when they’re building their new stadium, and we are a long way down the path on reaching agreement,” Dyke confirmed.

“I think there are some discussions about whether they will play Champions League games at Wembley next year but I don’t know much about that. But on the full season (2017-18), I think we’re quite close to a deal.”

So, as expected, Spurs will likely pay the FA a fee to rent the stadium — the FA then plan to reinvest it at the grassroots level — and play temporarily away from White Hart Lane.

That’s pretty standard and the only issue will be if Chelsea’s plans to renovate Stamford Bridge go ahead (the Blues are also looking to temporarily relocate to Wembley) but they’ll likely use it for three seasons and may not need to until 2018-19, such is the magnitude of their stadium project.

However, the real juicy bit of news here was that Spurs is looking to host Champions League games at Wembley next season.

With Mauricio Pochettino‘s men missing out on the title to Leicester, they are still guaranteed a spot in next seasons UCL and will return to play among Europe’s elite after a five-year absence.

I’m sure Spurs will get close to a sellout of 90,000 at Wembley for their UCL games and make a lot of money from it but does something about that seem a little strange? Having a season of UCL action in the old White Hart Lane stadium seems fitting and the cozy surroundings and electric atmosphere (it’s one of the loudest and best venues to watch a game in the PL) would certainly intimidate some of Europe’s big boys who may roll into town.

Yet, the fact that the Lane will only hold just over 32,000 fans next season, due to some seats being taken out for construction work, means that almost trebling crowds for big European nights makes sense. It will also give both the FA and Tottenham a chance to test out how things will work for the 2017-18 season.

Ranieri’s Champagne press conference: “I’m Thinkerman, not Tinkerman!”

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Claudio Ranieri raised a glass of champagne in his first press conference as the manager of Premier League champions Leicester.

After being applauded into the room Ranieri, 64, spoke with the assembled media on Thursday ahead of Leicester’s clash with Everton this Saturday (Watch live, 12:30 p.m. ET on USA Network and online via Live Extra)

The Italian manager confirmed that legendary Opera singer Andrea Bocelli will perform before the game and, of course, after the Everton game captain Wes Morgan will lift the PL trophy.

[ MORE: Leicester news after PL win ] 

The Foxes, in case you’ve been living under a rock, won their first-ever top-flight title in 132 years as a club on Monday.

They were 5000-1 shots with the bookies at the start of the season and speaking on Thursday, Ranieri revealed he didn’t expect any of this when he took charge last summer at the King Power Stadium.

“Never could I have imagined this,” Ranieri said. We work so hard. Everyone does, but only one can win. This year it happened to me! It’s my karma. I’ve fought so hard to achieve so this is special. I want to thank my players, chairman, staff and fans. Our Chairman gives to us calmness and positivity. Never have I seen him nervous. That is important to me.

“To the fans. They were dreaming. I say dilly-ding,dilly-dong, they woke up and the dream was a reality.”

He then delivered a line which sums up his charismatic nature perfectly.

Ranieri was asked about his previous nickname “The Tinkerman” which was given to him at Chelsea for his constant lineup changes during his time in charge of the Blues from 2000-04.

“I am the Thinkerman, not Tinkerman!” Ranieri laughed.

Now that the “Thinkerman” has delivered one of the greatest sporting stories of all time, naturally plenty of questions have turned to which players well arrive and depart this summer as the Foxes prepare to play in the UEFA Champions League for the first-time in their history and also defend their crown.

“I don’t want big names,” Ranieri said. “I don’t want it in my dressing room. My lads are special. Who arrives must have the same spirit.”

What’s that Claudio, you want some spirits to go with your Champagne?

Fair enough, you’ve earned it…

Report: Man United offer job to Mourinho but there’s a catch

Chelsea's manager Jose Mourinho, center left, makes his way from the opposition dugout after greeting Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal, centre right, during their English Premier League soccer match between Manchester United and Chelsea at Old Trafford Stadium, Manchester, England, Sunday Oct. 26, 2014. (AP Photo/Jon Super)
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Manchester United want Jose Mourinho to become their new manager.

But hold your horses, Jose. You will have to wait a while.

[ MORE: Leicester news after PL win ] 

With Louis Van Gaal‘s current contract as United’s boss running out in the summer of 2017, it is believed that executive vice chairman Ed Woodward has been sounding out Mourinho’s camp for quite some time.

Mourinho, 53, has been without a job since he was fired by Chelsea last December following a disastrous start to the Premier League campaign which saw the reigning champs lingering above the relegation zone

Journalist Duncan Castles is well known as being close to Mourinho’s camp and he reported the following late on Wednesday:

Numerous other reports are stating similar things and it is believed Mourinho isn’t happy about been asked to wait another year. Previously he’s stated he will be in a new job this July.

Mourinho is also said to have held talks with United recently and has concerns about their transfer policy and the structures in place at Old Trafford.

With Van Gaal, 64, currently steering United to fifth place and within four points of Manchester City and having a game in hand, if he manages to finish in fourth and also win the FA Cup — they play Crystal Palace in the final at Wembley on May 21 — then he could well remain at Old Trafford for another year. He’s told journalists recently that he will be back for another season and as far as he’s concerned he will honor his contract.

However if United fail to finish in the top four and qualify for the UEFA Champions League it would be a huge shock to not see Mourinho replace his old mentor, LVG, this summer.

If these antics — asking Mourinho to wait around for another year — from Woodward and United’s board are true, then it could scupper their chances of getting the “Special One” to take charge altogether.

It’s a delicate, tricky situation and after nearly six months of speculation we don’t seem any closer to seeing Mourinho taking over the Red Devils.

Bayern’s Vidal says “ugly” Atletico not deserved UCL finalists

MADRID, SPAIN - APRIL 27: Juanfran of Atletico Madrid and Arturo Vidal of Bayern Munich argue during the UEFA Champions League semi final first leg match between Club Atletico de Madrid and FC Bayern Muenchen at Vincente Calderon on April 27, 2016 in Madrid, Spain.  (Photo by Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno/Getty Images)
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Bayern Munich midfielder Arturo Vidal has declared “ugly” Atletico Madrid unworthy finalists in the UEFA Champions League.

Bayern was eliminated in the Champions League semifinal by Atleti on Tuesday, with Diego Simeone’s Spanish side advancing on away goals.

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s UCL coverage ]

However, Vidal believed Bayern were the better team in the second leg, saying Atletico played “ugly football” to get through.

Today ugly football – Atletico – played against the best football in the world. The only time they saw the ball was for the goal.

They are going to be dreaming about us right up to the final. They did not have the ball, they took on the best team in the world, they took their chances and got to the final.

The best does not always win in football, like today. They are not deserved finalists.

Bayern Munich controlled more than 70-percent of possession and had 33 shots compared to Atletico’s nine, but those stats mean little as Antoine Griezmann’s away goal was enough to send Atleti to the final.

[ MORE: Former England striker Joe Cole headed to NASL’s Tampa Bay Rowdies ]

Atletico may not play the most attractive football, but after eliminating Barcelona and Bayern Munich in consecutive legs, it’s hard to argue anyone deserves this more than Simeone’s men.