Borussia Dortmund Training and Press Conference

Are you a football hipster? The Guardian lets you know.

Leave a comment

As we await the world football event of the day that is Arsenal v. Chelsea in the Capital One Cup, it’s worth taking 5 minutes to check out The Guardian’s new quiz which asks, ‘Are You A Football Hipster?

The quiz asks participants a series of 15 questions and awards one to four points based on the response, four being the most hipster.

The questions and answers are pretty hilarious. For example:

1. A friend is adamant that Manchester United’s deployment of Wayne Rooney as a false nine is hampering both the player and the team and that he should really be up there as a true 10. Your response is:

  • “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. If you’re going to move Rooney, you want him as a genuine trequartista with United employing inside-out wingers. And, anyway, the problem lies much deeper in their failure to control more than 55% of possession in any of their away games against teams who play a diamond in midfield.”
  • “Um … yeah. And did you see that ludicrous display last night? Thing about Arsenal is, they always try and walk it in.”
  • “Yeah – and if you moved him forward then Kagawa might get a game.”
  • Throw a pork scratching at him/her and storm to the bar

3. It’s a big midweek Champions League night. The curtains are drawn. The pizza has been ordered. The booze is in the fridge. But what are you going to watch?

  • Manchester United v Milan on ITV1
  • Athletic Bilbao v Shakhtar Donetsk on Sky Sports Red Button
  • Keflavik v Fylkir in the Icelandic first division on an internet streaming service (because Fylkir have been utilising an interesting variant of the double-pivot)
  • Chelsea v Viktoria Plovdiv on ITV4

10. For some reason you have bought yourself a goldfish. What do you call it?

  • Nemo
  • Gazza
  • Klopp
  • Lobanovsky

At the end of the quiz your hipsterdom is assessed by The Guardian, who concluded that I am nearly a ‘football hipster’, although apparently, I still have a way to go:

“You scored 43 out of a possible 60. Close but no cigar – YOU’RE A BIT OF A HIPSTER! You love a bit of tactical talk and wear your 1991-92 St Pauli away shirt with pride, but deep down there’s part of you who prefers a cavorting mess of a 4-3 to a well-disciplined 0-0. You heathen, you. Still, you’re well on your way to zen-like hipsterdom.”

All in all the quiz is a good time even if it flies in direct contravention of the fact that no real hipster would define himself as such. But I digress.

Take the quiz for yourself, right here.

MLS Snapshot: LA Galaxy 2-4 Seattle Sounders (video)

SEATTLE, WA - MARCH 06:  Jordan Morris #13 of the Seattle Sounders FC in action against Sporting Kansas City at CenturyLink Field on March 6, 2016 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images
Leave a comment

The game in 100 words (or less): While one American star continues to earn more time on the pitch, another is making his presence felt as his side pushes for a playoff position. Jordan Morris’ 11 and 12th goals of the season were the difference for the Sounders on Sunday afternoon, propelling his side to within three points of the six spot in the Western Conference. Despite trailing early on, the Sounders stormed back with three second-half tallies and now have the postseason very much in sight. For the Galaxy, Bruce Arena’s group remains in third place in the West.

[ MORE: David Villa discusses MLS playoffs, Guardiola and more ]

Three four five moments that mattered

20′ – Keane smashes home header — Sebastian Lletget has played a key role for the Galaxy in 2016, and the midfielder’s cross was everything it should be to help put the the hosts out in front.

35′ — Van Damme own goal levels it up before halftime — Call it lucky but with the playoffs on the line, the Sounders need all the help they can get as the regular season winds down.

63′ — Morris stuns StubHub crowd — It’s safe to say the Sounders are happy Jordan Morris opted to play in MLS this season. The American striker not only knocked in his 11th goal of the year but this beauty of a finish also propelled the Sounders to within three points of a playoff spot.

73′ — Morris tacks one on for good measure — Was it as pretty as the first one? No. Was it timely? We’ll let you judge.

73′ — Alonso caps off win with screamer — He got a little help from the referee but Osvaldo Alonso made no mistake with this finish.

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s MLS coverageStandings | Stats | Schedule ]

Man of the match: Jordan Morris

Goalscorers: Robbie Keane (20′, 84′), Jelle van Damme (OG 35′), Jordan Morris (63′, 73′), Osvaldo Alonso (78′)

La Liga roundup: Atletico edges Deportivo, Pato propels Villareal

MADRID, SPAIN - SEPTEMBER 25:  Antoine Greizmann of Club Atletico de Madrid reacts after his goal was declared offside during the La Liga match between Atletico Madrid and Deportivo La Coruna at Vincente Calderon stadium on September 25, 2016 in Madrid, Spain.  (Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images)
Denis Doyle/Getty Images
Leave a comment

Antoine Griezmann was the difference for Atletico Madrid on Sunday as Atletico Madrid narrowly defeated 10-man Deportivo La Coruna, 1-0, to move up to third place in La Liga. The visitors were reduced a player prior to halftime, as Faycal Fajr was sent off in first-half stoppage time after picking up his second yellow card.

[ MORE: Schalke misery continues, Leipzig earns road point ]

A clinical first half performance from Villareal gave the hosts a 3-1 win over Osasuna, who remain at the bottom of the table. Alexandre Pato kicked off the impressive offensive display from the Yellow Submarine after five minutes, before Bruno and Nicola Sansone also tallied before halftime. Roberto Torres pulled one back for Osasuna before the break but it wasn’t enough to capture a share of the points for the road side.

After trailing inside of the opening half hour, Valencia battled back for a 2-1 win over Leganes. Alexander Szymanowski handed the hosts the lead after 21 minutes, but it was Nani and Mario Suarez that had the final say for Valencia as they wound up with the points on the day. The victory pulls Valencia out of the relegation zone temporarily, with the club currently sitting on six points in as many matches.

It looked like the two sides were on pace for a share of the points, but late stoppage time finishes from Giuseppe Rossi and Pione Sisto gave Celta Vigo a 2-0 win over Espanyol. Rossi, who entered the match in the second half, knocked Celta into the lead in the 91st minute, before Sisto doubled the lead two minutes later.

Sagna praises Aguero as “one of the best players I have played with”

SWANSEA, WALES - SEPTEMBER 24: Sergio Aguero of Manchester City celebrates scoring his sides second goal  during the Premier League match between Swansea City and Manchester City at the Liberty Stadium on September 24, 2016 in Swansea, Wales.  (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
Michael Steele/Getty Images
Leave a comment

Everything about Manchester City’s start to the 2016/17 Premier League season has been right, and Bacary Sagna is already praising the squad’s biggest attacking threat.

[ MORE: Podolski displeased with Mourinho’s treatment of Schweinsteiger ]

With the Citizens already on 18 points and unbeaten in their opening six matches, the veteran defender was quick to note the importance of Argentine striker Sergio Aguero — who has already notched five tallies.

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s PL coverage ]

Aguero, 28, has posted nine straight double-digit goalscoring seasons, dating back to his time in La Liga with Atletico Madrid. Last season, the Argentine netted 29 goals across all competitions, including 24 finishes in the PL.

“He is one of the best players I have played with, not just because he scores goals but also because of his attitude – he always wants to give his maximum for his team and bring the team up,” Sagna said of Aguero’s effort.

“His two goals showed his class. He has such desire in front of the box, and in the box itself. He is great.”

Podolski displeased with Mourinho’s treatment of Schweinsteiger

LEICESTER, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 28:  Bastian Schweinsteiger of Manchester United in action during the Barclays Premier League match between Leicester City and Manchester United at The King Power Stadium on November 28, 2015 in Leicester, England.  (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
1 Comment

The Jose Mourinho-Bastian Schweinsteiger relationship is a very puzzling situation for Manchester United, and most outsiders appear to be taking the German’s side.

[ MORE: De Bruyne sidelined a month with hamstring injury ]

Former teammate Lukas Podolski has chimed in on the matter, pointing out Schweinsteiger’s decorated career for both club and country.

[ MORE: Lewis Baker stuns Twente with long-distance golazo ]

Since the arrival of Mourinho this summer, the Portuguese manager has made it clear that the 32-year-old isn’t his plans, including dropping Schweinsteiger to United’s reserves.

Podolski recently spoke to Bild about the situation:

“When you look at the career Bastian has had, I can only say that what is happening there is simply not right for a player of his stature,” Podolski said.

“I do not know what Mourinho has discussed with Bastian. But is clear that it is not okay to drop someone like Basti to the reserves.

“A coach should always keep his door open to all players, and especially to players like Schweini.”

While Schweinsteiger’s contract doesn’t run out until 2018, the volatile relationship between the Red Devils midfielder and Mourinho certainly looks to be one that won’t last much longer.