The world's most expensive soccer player hails from Cardiff. Gareth Bale's success has helped put South Wales on the map.

Spain roundup: Ronaldo hat trick, Bale double lead Real Madrid’s rout of Sevilla

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Jokes about Gareth Bale’s failed move to Real Madrid had become so odious that the Welsh international’s Wednesday performance should be seen as an act of charity. His two goals within 27 minutes at the Bernabéu not only silenced that tedious analysis but ignited a breakout from the Blancos, Real Madrid going on to win 7-3 over visiting Sevilla.

Bale, that unskilled clot truly prescient analysts rightly passed judgment on after five La Liga matches, is now up to three goals in six Primera Division game – an unacceptable one-in-two rate from a wide attacker. Though he’s only been in the Spanish capital for a couple of months, this far-fetched experiment has gone on for too long. Its time to ship him back to Tottenham — nay, Southampton — once and for all.

In the real world, Real’s world record had them up two within a half-hour, with Cristiano Ronaldo adding the first of his three goals from the spot in the 32nd minute. Sevilla, however, would respond with a pair before halftime, Ivan Rikitic (penalty) and Carlos Bacca making it a one-goal game at intermission.

By the hour, Real Madrid had restored their there-goal lead, with score from Karim Benzema and Ronaldo making it 5-2. Rakitic’s second brought Sevilla within two before a third from Ronaldo, a missed penalty kick from Rakitic, and a Stephane M’Bia sending off ended the visitor’s hopes. When Benzema completed his double in the 80th minute, Real Madrid had their highest scoring day of the season.

For Bale and Benzema, their contributions went beyond the goals column, Each player added two assists while giving their best performances of the season. For Bale, the performance helps the winger move beyond the injury-riddled start to his Real Madrid career, while Benzema’s day comes after being excluded from the starting XI for this weekend’s Clasico.

As for the team, coming into the contest El Real had scored 20 times in 10 games – a prodigious rate, but one that put them behind Barcelona and Atlético Madrid on the league’s goal scoring charts. With today’s outburst, Real temporarily pass their crosstown rivals, who will try to improve on their 26 goals against Athletic tomorrow.

Defending, however, is still a problem for Carlo Ancelotti’s side. In today’s shootout, they gave up three goals, an unconverted penalty, and 16 shots (six on target). While Barça and Atlético have held their opponents to seven goals each, Real Madrid has now conceded 14 times this season.

Elsewhere today in Spain:

Real Valladolid 2-2 Real Sociedad: A pair from Antoine Griezmann had the visitors up two by the 53rd minute, but a three-minute outburst that produced goals from Daniel Larsson and Javi Guerra left the match even in the 78th minute. Sociedad were ultimately denied their third-straight win.

Valencia 1-2 Almería: Los Che suffer the indignity of being the first team to lose to Almería, with goals from Marco Torsiglieri and Aleix Vidal giving Spain’s cellar dwellers three points at the Mestalla. Jonas opened the scoring in the first half with a conversion from the spot after a Rodri penalty, but with six saves in Almería’s goal, Esteban Suárez never conceded from open play. Already under pressure, Valencia coach Miroslav Djukic could see a pink slip after this one.

Osasuna 3-1 Rayo Vallecano: Osasuna came into the match with Spain’s second-worst attack, an ailment cured by Rayo’s league-worst defense. Oier’s first minute goal gave the home side an immediate lead, an edge Oriol Riera doubled 12 minutes later. Early in the second, Roberto Torres completed Osasuna’s scoring, with Alejandro Gálvez pulling one back after Miguel Angel de las Cuevas had been sent off.

Manchester United said to be offering $12 million bonus to Zlatan Ibrahimovic

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - APRIL 12:  Zlatan Ibrahimovic of Paris Saint-Germain beats Eliaquim Mangala (20) and Joe Hart of Manchester City to score, but his goal is disallowed during the UEFA Champions League quarter final second leg match between Manchester City FC and Paris Saint-Germain at the Etihad Stadium on April 12, 2016 in Manchester, United Kingdom.  (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)
Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images
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The Premier League sometimes seems to deal in funny money, and it might take just that to bring Zlatan Ibrahimovic across the English Channel.

The Swedish superstar, 34, is leaving Paris Saint-Germain this summer and is reportedly being targeted by several Premier League clubs.

[ MORE: LVG issues statement ]

With his old pal Jose Mourinho expected to take over at Manchester United, there’s been a natural batch of gossip linking the pair. Goal.com has claims of extraordinary dollar signs for the trophy-collecting Ibrahimovic.

Goal’s French site claims that Ibrahimovic would get close to a $12 million signing bonus to go with a huge weekly salary of approximately $363,000. Add that up, and you’re talking more than $560,000 a week.

The report spreads rumors of a $400,000-per-week offer from Major League Soccer for Zlatan, and that acquisition would certainly quell the minor storm caused by China’s acquisition of many big names.

We’ve always thought Ibrahimovic was more an Arsenal-style player, but imagine Mourinho running the Swede with Anthony Martial and Marcus Rashford? Bonkers.

Ajax hires Peter Bosz as new coach to replace Frank de Boer

SOUTHAMPTON, ENGLAND - JULY 30:  Peter Bosz manager of Vitesse looks on ahead of the UEFA Europa League Third Qualifying Round 1st Leg match between Southampton and Vitesse at St Mary's Stadium on July 30, 2015 in Southampton, England.  (Photo by Jordan Mansfield/Getty Images)
Photo by Jordan Mansfield/Getty Images
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AMSTERDAM (AP) Ajax has signed Peter Bosz as its new coach, replacing Frank de Boer who announced earlier this month he was leaving the club after nearly six years in which he won four Dutch league titles.

Bosz, a former player and technical director at Ajax’s arch rival Feyenoord, is leaving Maccabi Tel Aviv to join the Amsterdam club on a three-year contract.

[ MORE: USMNT-Ecuador preview | Klinsmann eyes semis ]

In a statement late Tuesday, Bosz says it is an honor to join Ajax. He says, “I am very ambitious and so is Ajax.”

Ajax director Edwin van der Sar says that in Bosz, Ajax has hired a coach “who can make our talented squad even better.”

Ajax finished second behind PSV Eindhoven in the top flight Eredivisie season that has just ended.

WATCH: Neymar caught a bit offguard in first look at his wax figure

MADRID, SPAIN - MAY 22:  Neymar of FC Barcelona celebrates aftr scoring Barcelona's 2nd goal during the Copa del Rey Final between Barcelona and Sevilla at Vicente Calderon Stadium    on May 22, 2016 in Madrid, Spain.  (Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images)
Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images
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I remember the first time I saw the first of many life size wax replications of my body.

That is a sentence I am unlikely to ever utter, but Neymar is a different story.

[ MORE: USMNT-Ecuador preview | Klinsmann eyes semis ]

The 24-year-old Brazilian superstar was caught on camera witnessing his wax figure for the first time, and we can watch it thanks to FC Barcelona.

Look at this guy, looking at that guy. The most interesting part for me is his fascination with how well they did with his tattoos, which of course are easier to duplicate than, you know, a face:

Morris “completely respects” Klinsmann’s keeping him off USMNT roster

SEATTLE, WA - APRIL 20:  Seattle Sounders FC forward Jordan Morris speaks on stage during We Day at KeyArena on April 20, 2016 in Seattle, Washington.  (Photo by Mat Hayward/Getty Images for We Day)
Photo by Mat Hayward/Getty Images for We Day
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Seattle Sounders striker and USMNT star-in-waiting Jordan Morris struck a mature note when asked about his exclusion from Jurgen Klinsmann’s 23-man roster for this summer’s Copa America Centenario.

Some will have considered the youngster a lock for the roster, with Morris already boasting rarefied air as a college player to become something close to a national team regular while still in school.

[ MORE: USMNT-Ecuador preview | Klinsmann eyes semis ]

But Klinsmann opted for in-form San Jose striker Chris Wondolowski, and it has become old hat for MLS players to gripe when their name is not called by the German boss (See: Benny Feilhaber, Brad Evans and Landon Donovan).

Don’t count Morris in that group. Of course the youngster doesn’t have the tenure to rally against the man who gave him his shot in the first place, but that hasn’t stopped others from acting entitled to a roster spot.

From MLSSoccer.com:

“[Klinsmann] told me not take it too hard and that there was a lot of competition,” Morris said. “I completely respect his decision. There were a lot of good forwards playing and they’re all playing really well. I wish those guys all the best. It’s going to be a lot of fun to watch this summer.”

Morris can still end up on the roster through injury, and it’s easy to see him as the next name up should an attack-minded player take a knock. Stefan Frei told us last week that Morris is remarkably professional, and this is no exception.

The youngster did admit increased motivation from his omission, stating that “it gives you fuel to your fire to try and get back in the mix a little bit”. We have a feeling he won’t be out of that mix for long.