File photo of Britain's Alex Ferguson at the British Academy of Film and Television Arts awards

Calling the police is not a proper reaction to Manchester United losing a Cup tie, nor will they patch you through to Sir Alex Ferguson

1 Comment

“Hello you’ve reached the police, how can I help?”

“Yeah, could I speak to Sir Alex Ferguson, please?”

“Not by the 999 line, I’m afraid.”

So begins an entertaining, yet completely inappropriate, call to the GMP Manchester North after Manchester United’s loss to Sunderland in Thursday’s second leg of the Capital One Cup semi-finals. A supporter was so filled with alcohol disgust at the Red Devils performance that he needed to speak with Sir Alex Ferguson.

And what better way to get a hold of him than by dialing 999 (England’s version of 911)?

The Manchester Evening News has the audio here, and it’s might as well be a radio show’s comedy bit.

After the initial exchange of pleasantries, the caller goes on to ask for his hero again.

CALLER: “Sir Alex Ferguson… the result is all wrong. You have extra time and it was a total and utter load of rubbish.”

OPERATOR: “Sir, you’re actually on the 999 police line. Is there any crime you need to report to the police this evening?”

CALLER: “Yeah, a crime. I’ll report a crime.”

OPERATOR: “And what crime is that?”

CALLER: “The crime is that Manchester United, Manchester United, were absolutely knackered.”

Look, I’d be troubled, too, if I just watched my favorite team put on a show that could’ve been titled, “My First Penalty Kicks,” but I like to think that even a 100 bottles of single malt wouldn’t have me on the horn with the local emergency line (Seriously, the call is funny for the absurdity of it but I don’t need to hear about it happening in your town, despite what Chuck D. might proffer).

If you’re doubting the validity, here’s the Facebook page for the police (who are gifted in both dry humor and social media):

source:

Truly.

Watch Live: Man City, Spurs looking for opener after scoreless half

during the Barclays Premier League match between Manchester City and Tottenham Hotspur at Etihad Stadium on February 14, 2016 in Manchester, England.
Clive Brunskill / Getty Images
Leave a comment

Three points push either Manchester City or Tottenham Hotspur within a win of the Premier League’s top spot, but Sunday’s first half at the Etihad Stadium shows both look quite cognizant of what the reverse would mean to their title hopes.

A loss for City or Spurs would see the defeated side five points back of Leicester City with three teams ahead with 12 to go in the PL season.

WATCH LIVE ONLINE VIA LIVE EXTRA

The first half featured plenty of cautious play and feeling out from both sides, as well as some testy tackles.

Danny Rose paid for making a great shot block on Raheem Sterling in the 24th minute. The Spurs defender slid hard to get in Sterling’s blast radius and took the shot off his chest.

Rose also pushed forward plenty in giving City’s left side fits.

[ MORE: Latest Premier League standings ]

[ MORE: Full lineups, stats, box score ]

WATCH: USMNT’s Bobby Wood scores fast-break goal for Union Berlin

BERLIN, GERMANY - JULY 15:  Bobby Wood poses during the offical team presentation of 1.FC Union Berlin at Stadion an der Alten Foersterei on July 15, 2015 in Berlin, Germany.  (Photo by Matthias Kern/Bongarts/Getty Images)
Photo by Matthias Kern/Bongarts/Getty Images
Leave a comment

When the United States takes on Guatemala in next month’s World Cup qualifiers, might we see Bobby Wood go from super sub to starter?

The Union Berlin striker with a pair of memorable USMNT goals to top the Netherlands and Germany is doing more of the same in 2.Bundesliga.

[ MORE: Fabian Johnson nabs fifth goal of Bundesliga season ]

The 3-0 win saw Wood race down the field for this fast break goal, his fourth in as many matches. On the season, the Hawaiian-born 23-year-old has nine goals and four assists, though Union doesn’t have a look at promotion this season.

Still, as Dr. Dre might say, “Bobby Wood… Bobby Wood always up to no good.” If Jurgen Klinsmann is thinking 4-4-2 with Wood and in-form, slimmed-down Jozy Altidore, we’d be happy to have a look at it.

Aston Villa 0-6 Liverpool: Reds demolish out-of-sorts Villans in historic fashion

BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND - FEBRUARY 14:  Daniel Sturridge of Liverpool scores the opening goal during the Barclays Premier League match between Aston Villa and Liverpool at Villa Park on February 14, 2016 in Birmingham, England.  (Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images)
Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images
Leave a comment
  • Milner, Sturridge score early
  • Villa eight points off 17th place
  • Can scores great low goal in 59th
  • Most home goals allowed by Villa in PL history

Even Kolo Toure scored!

Six different Liverpool players scored a goal as Liverpool piled misery on Aston Villa with a 6-0 win at Villa Park on Sunday.

Daniel Sturridge, James Milner, Divock Origi, Nathaniel Clyne, Emre Can and Toure scored for the Reds.

The loss is Aston Villa’s first in five at home, and stops them from moving toward 19th place Sunderland.

The Villans are seven back of the Black Cats, and Liverpool pulls into eighth. The Reds sit three points back of fifth-place Manchester United.

[ MORE: Watch full PL match replays ]

Sturridge’s celebratory dance was back on display, as he nodded down Coutinho’s cross to make it 1-0 in the 16th minute.

Milner’s free kick from the right slipped just over Mamadou Sakho‘s head but tricked Mark Bunn enough to give Liverpool a 2-0 lead after 25 minutes of play.

Villa was booed off the pitch at halftime after struggling to show any semblance of a comeback pulse.

[ MORE: Latest Premier League standings ]

[ MORE: Full lineups, stats, box score ]

Liverpool added a third on a counterattack, as Can picked up a square pass from Roberto Firmino and buried a low shot past Bunn.

Origi subbed on for Sturridge, and scored moments later. Twenty-seven seconds after the move, the Belgian buried a goal. Clyne netted a minute later to make it three goals conceded in less than seven minutes.

By the time Toure added his first goal in five years, it was clear this was an onslaught. In a year that could see Villa relegated for the first time in Premier League history, the club added another first.

VIDEO: Man City youngster’s glee at Dad’s surprising gift of tickets

Man City kid dad
Leave a comment

This Man City fan dad gets high marks for Valentine’s Day after he combined with mom to give a big Etihad Stadium surprise for their son.

[ WATCH: USMNT’s Fabian Johnson scores fifth for ‘Gladbach ]

The child’s reaction could even warm a United fan’s heart, as he leaps into dad’s arms after learning their Sunday morning trip to the team shop was really a date at the big game against Spurs.

Now will their club make it an even better day? Doubt it matters all that much to the kid right now!