Bundesliga roundup: Schalke’s terrible, horrible, completely understandable bad week

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Schalke just completed the most understandably horrible week in the short history of modern soccer, a pair games that left one of the most affluent clubs in Europe on the wrong end of a 11-2 scoreline over their last 180 minute. Perhaps the Miners aren’t in the same spending category as Real Madrid and Bayern Munich, its opponents over the last four days, but regularly ranked among the 12-20 most valuable clubs in the world, Schalke’s plight highlights the ever-growing divide between Europe’s elite and the merely enviably huge.

Real Madrid’s 6-1 win in the team’s UEFA Champions League Round of 16 opener was the low point – los Blancos putting up six goals in Gelsenkirchen before Jens Keller’s team got Klaas-Jan Huntelaar’s spectacular consolation. On Saturday, however, the Schalke boss had the misfortune of seeing his team move from Europe’s second-best team to its defending champions. Bayern Munich, having lost only once since Pep Guariola took over, welcomed the Blues on the Allianz Arena.

The result, superficially, wasn’t as embarrassing as their loss at the Veltins Arena, but after giving up four goals in the match’s first 29 minutes, the disappointment was far more swift. David Alaba, Arjen Robben, Mario Mandzukic, and a second from Robben had Bayern up 4-0 before Schalke even registered a shot, let alone an attempt on target. An own goal from Rafinha eventually provided the visitors some consolation, but when Robben completed his hat trick with a 77th minute penalty conversion, the Bundesliga’s leaders completed their 5-1 demolition of the league’s fourth place club.

Yet as disheartening as the last four days have been for Keller’s club, they’ll likely prove irrelevant to the team’s ultimately goal – getting back into Champions League. So Schalke can’t compete with Bayern or Real? That’s not exactly an above-the-fold revelation. The fact that they were so far behind Europe’s two best teams only amplifies something that wasn’t news in the first place. Schalke, despite their nine-goal deficit over the last 180 minutes, is still a team that should be favored to grab Germany’s final Champions League spot. Their horrible week was completely understandable.

Bayern, however, did offer us something interesting in Saturday’s game. If Real Madrid’s mid-week rout was a message to Europe, Bayern Munich’s first half hour at the Allianz was a rebuttal. Four goals and no shots allowed may not have led to a more lopsided final, but in its own way, it was more remarkable.

There’s still no doubt. Bayern is the best team in Europe.

Elsewhere

  • Hertha Berlin 0, Freiburg 0 – Admir Medmedi peppered the hosts’ goal with four shots on target, but thanks to five saves from Thomas Kraft, Freiburg stays in the drop.
  • Borussia Dortmund 3, Nurnberg 0 – BVB recovers from last weekend’s embarrassment in Hamburg with a second half outburst, with Mats Hummels, Robert Lewandowski, and Henrikh Mkhitaryan allowing Dortmund to claim second place.
  • Werder Bremen 1, Hamburg 0 – Whatever momentum HSV garnered from last week’s win was left at the Imtech Arena, with Werder extending their unbeaten streak to three thanks to a Zlatko Junuzovic’s 19th minute winner.
  • Augsburg 1, Hannover 1 – Mame Biram Diouf’s 21st minute opener allowed Hannover to end their three-game losing streak, with a second half response from Ragnar Klavan salvaging a point for the hosts.
  • Braunschweig 1, Borussia Mönchengladbach 1 – An own goal from Marc-André ter Stegen cancelled out Raffael’s opener, sending previously Champions League-competing Gladbach to seventh.
  • Bayer Leverkusen 0, Mainz 1 – Sami Hyypia’s team ran their losing streak to four, giving up second place in the process. Thanks to Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting’s first half winner, Bayer now have to worry about their top-four survival, with fifth place Wolfsburg only four points back.

Sunday
Hoffenheim vs. Wolfsburg
Einfracht Frankfurt vs. Stuttgart

Others
Bayern Munich 5, Schalke 1

Standings

Team GP W D L GF GA GD Home Away PTS
Bayern Munich 23 21 2 0 66 10 56 12-0-0 9-2-0 65
Borussia Dortmund 23 14 3 6 54 27 27 8-1-3 6-2-3 45
Bayer Leverkusen 23 14 1 8 39 26 13 8-1-3 6-0-5 43
FC Schalke 04 23 12 5 6 42 35 7 7-2-2 5-3-4 41
VfL Wolfsburg 22 12 3 7 38 26 12 8-1-2 4-2-5 39
FSV Mainz 05 23 11 4 8 32 35 -3 6-2-3 5-2-5 37
Mönchen 23 10 6 7 40 29 11 8-2-2 2-4-5 36
Hertha BSC Berlin 23 10 5 8 34 27 7 5-2-5 5-3-3 35
FC Augsburg 23 10 5 8 35 33 2 6-2-3 4-3-5 35
1899 Hoffenheim 22 6 8 8 46 46 0 3-5-3 3-3-5 26
Hannover 96 23 7 4 12 30 42 -12 6-3-2 1-1-10 25
Werder Bremen 23 6 7 10 26 46 -20 4-4-4 2-3-6 25
1. FC Nürnberg 23 4 11 8 27 40 -13 2-5-4 2-6-4 23
Eintracht Frankfurt 22 5 7 10 24 38 -14 2-5-4 3-2-6 22
VfB Stuttgart 22 5 4 13 35 47 -12 2-3-6 3-1-7 19
Hamburger SV 23 5 4 14 38 52 -14 3-1-7 2-3-7 19
SC Freiburg 23 4 7 12 22 44 -22 2-4-5 2-3-7 19
Eintracht Braunschweig 23 4 4 15 17 42 -25 3-2-7 1-2-8 16

Valencia extends Man Utd deal to great Mourinho praise

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Jose Mourinho has made no secret of his Antonio Valencia appreciation, and the Manchester United manager has rewarded his fullback with a new deal.

Valencia is nine appearances away from 300 in a Manchester United kit, with 22 goals and 61 assists as a Red Devil.

[ MORE: Monaco star’s Man City medical ]

Valencia said United has “been my life” since arriving from Wigan Athletic in 2009, while Mourinho heaped praise on the Ecuadorian captain’s character with glowing praise.

“It is no secret that I had been an admirer of Antonio’s long before I joined the club. I knew what a fantastic player he was and he has not disappointed me on that front. However, what I could never have imagined was what a great person he is. I know I have said this before but I truly believe it is a real privilege for us to have such a good player and such a good man. I am delighted he has extended his contract.”

Only Ander Herrera and Eric Bailly recorded better tackle rates at Old Trafford last season, and Valencia was credited with a team-best 1.5 crosses per game.

USMNT veteran Geoff Cameron extended by Stoke City

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Forget a return Stateside, as Geoff Cameron is sticking around the Potteries.

The versatile American midfielder and defender, 31, has extended his stay at Stoke City by two years, the Premier League club announced Friday.

Cameron has played 165 times for Stoke since arriving from the Houston Dynamo in 2012. He’s been capped 50 times by the USMNT.

Turning 32 next in mid-July, Cameron missed three-and-a-half months with a knee injury this season. That span saw Stoke go 6-5-5.

Advanced stats site WhoScored rated Cameron as Stoke’s best player — by far — this season. He was a bright spot along with loan man Bruno Martins Indi, and his extension is good news for both U.S. and Stoke fans.

Stoke goalkeeper Jack Butland is preparing for more banter:

Double the Silva? Monaco star undergoing Man City medical

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Pep Guardiola is looking to Monaco in his chase for (lowers sunglasses) Silvaware.

Thanks, we’ll be here all day.

Bernardo Silva is in Manchester on Friday, with the Manchester Evening News saying the playmaker is close to joining unrelated surname sharer David Silva in the Sky Blues’ attack.

[ MORE: Three key battles in FA Cup Final ]

“The 22-year-old arrived at Manchester Airport on Thursday night on a flight from Mallorca and is believed to have had a medical at the club’s academy on Friday morning,” writes James Robson.

At 22, Bernardo Silva has already made 124 appearances for Monaco, registering 25 goals. He scored eight goals in Monaco’s Ligue 1 title run, adding three in the Champions League.

He’s also been capped 12 times by Portugal.

Where does Silva fit? He featured heavily at right wing for Monaco this season — 43 of 56 apps — also spending time in an attacking central midfield role. In City’s final match of the PL season, Gabriel Jesus lined up wide right next to David Silva

MLS Snapshot: FCD lose 2nd in a row; Fire win 4th straight

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The game in 100 words (or less): After starting the 2017 season nine games without a loss, FC Dallas, the longest-lasting unbeaten team in MLS, has lost two straight. Saturday saw their unbeaten start come to an end, against the San Jose Earthquakes, just as Wednesday’s trip to Toyota Stadium saw Oscar Pareja’s side drop all three points to the Chicago Fire. All three of the game’s goals were scored during the opening nine minutes, as FCD fought back from 1-0, but couldn’t find a second equalizer on the night. Nemanja Nikolic bagged the opener, his 11th goal in 13 games to extend his lead in the Golden Boot race to two, in the 3rd minute. Roland Lamah brought FCD back to level terms three minutes later, but David Accam restored the home side’s advantage after three more minutes. Nikolic had every opportunity in the world to take his goals tally to a dozen during second-half stoppage time, but Chris Seitz denied the Hungarian international from the penalty spot. For the first time since Sept. 2012, Chicago have won four straight league games, and sit just two points back of Eastern Conference-leading Toronto FC (26 points).

[ WATCH: Chicharito-to-MLS in doubt due to $10M contract demands ]

Three moments that mattered

3′ — Nikolic redirects past Seitz for 1-0 — Nikolic ran 15 yards straight ahead without a single FCD player picking him up or impeding his path to the near post, and they paid for it.

6′ — Lamah taps it in to make it 1-1 right away — Lamah has been quite the disappointment since arriving in Dallas this winter, but he happened to eb in the right place at the right time in this one, as a failed clearance fell to the five-times-capped Belgian international for an easy tap-in, and his first MLS goal.

9′ — Accam cuts inside to make it 2-1 just as quickly — At some point, Accam will be properly rated by the wider MLS audience, as he’s been Chicago’s best player for two full seasons, and has only hit a new high with capable attackers all around him.

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Man of the match: Dax McCarty

Goalscorers: Nikolic (3′), Lamah (6′), Accam (9′)