Quick Six: Pardew’s headbutt, Arsenal’s tumble, and the rest of the headlines from the Premier League weekend

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1. Pardew headbutt overshadows teams rout in Hull

On Saturday, Newcastle found more goals than it’d scored in its previous five games combined, yet thanks to the antics of its manager, that’s a factoid you’re probably reading for the first time, over 24 hours after the Magpies took a 4-1 win out of the KC Stadium. Headbutting Tigers’ midfielder David Meyler in the second half of Newcastle’s visit to Hull City, Alan Pardew stole the weekend’s headlines while nearly seeing himself out of a job.

That possibility — one that would see him lose the security of a contract that runs through 2020 — seems slim after Newcastle said the six-digit fine it handed Pardew last night would be the last it’d have to say on the matter. Follow up reporting confirmed that owner Mike Ashley, while furious at Pardew’s lack of restraint, was unlikely to let him go, even if the incident does give the Magpies a chance to get out of that ill-advised extension.

But as the club said in its Saturday statement, the real shame of the situation is the distraction. Yes, the headbutt is egregious, but Meyler is unhurt, and Pardew will surely be handed an involuntary vacation by the Football Association. After that’s done and the fines are paid, people will have long forgotten Moussa Sissoko’s brace and complementing goals from Loïc Remy and Vurnon Anita. They’ll have forgotten a decisive result at Hull City has Newcastle threatening to claim a European spot.


2. Arsenal returning to 2012-13 leVels

Speaking of overshadowed, Stoke City’s incremental improvement over the last two months was relegated to subtext after their upset win over Arsenal on Saturday. With a late penalty controversially given against Laurent Koscielny, Jonathan Walters was able to snatch a 1-0 victory for their Potters, their second win over one of the Premier League’s titans since the calendar turned.

(MORE: Stoke City 1-0 Arsenal: Walters penalty enough to sink the Gunners)

But with Mark Hughes’ team inching toward that netherworld between relevance and relegation, all headlines focused on the loss’s implications for Arsenal. With one win in their last four, the Gunners have fallen four points behind Chelsea, with a goal difference 14 worse than Liverpool forcing Arsenal to cede second place in the Premier League. With Manchester City holding two matches in hand, fourth place suddenly looks like Arsenal’s most likely finishing spot.

Given the Gunners came entered the season with Champions League doubts, a top-four finish would have to be considered a successful campaign. Having spent much of the year in the top two, that spot would also represent a concession, one that becomes more likely with performances like Saturday’s at Stoke.

3. RODGERS PUSHES Reds INTO second place

Southampton’s regression from their strong start makes it easy to take results like Saturday’s for granted, but when you see Arsenal stumble at Stoke you can appreciate what a 3-0 result at St. Mary’s says about Liverpool. You can also appreciate why the Reds have tracked down Arsène Wenger’s team in the standings, with the continued maturation of Brendan Rodgers evident in Liverpool’s win over the Saints.

(MORE: Southampton 0-3 Liverpool: Reds slip into second)

Rodgers is a manager that regularly espouses a want to dictate games, but facing Southampton team which also enjoys their share of play, the Liverpool boss dropped Raheem Sterling in favor of Joe Allen, electing to go with four in the middle against Mauricio Pochettino’s side.  The move sent the Reds into halftime up one, with Liverpool doubling their lead once Sterling was brought on in the second.

After spending the first half of the season feeling out his squad — toying with three at the back while trying to figure out how to use Luis Suárez with Daniel Sturridge — Rodgers has gotten to a point where he can do no wrong. His team’s chances of claiming an unlikely title still rest behind Chelsea’s and Manchester City’s, but come the end of the season, no manager will have done more with their squad than Liverpool’s second year boss.

4. SchÜrrle eruption stains Mourinho’s narrative

Relegated to a substitute’s role for most of the season, Andre Schürrle received back-to-back starts this week, with the German international rewarding José Mourinho’s fate with a game-winning performance on Saturday. With goals in the 52nd, 65th, and 68th minutes at Craven Cottage, Schürrle led what’s become Chelsea’s trademark second half surge, the team’s 3-1 win leaving the Blues four points clear at the top of the Premier League.

(MORE: Fulham 1-3 Chelsea: Spectacular Schurrle extends Blues lead at the top)

Mourinho’s tried to mitigate the impact of that lead by noting Manchester City’s games in hand, but with only 10 rounds left in the Premier League season, time is running out for the Citizens to make their move. At a minimum, the 12 leagues game remaining on City’s schedule will come in a more compact period of time, increasing the chances the 2011-12 champions will drop points against lesser opponents. While Chelsea’s possibilities of advancing in Champions League could also crowd their fixture list, Manchester City remains alive in the FA Cup.

(MORE: Jose Mourinho on Chelsea going four points clear at top: “It is a fake advantage”)

With City’s depth, there’s reason to think the Sky Blues can manage their work load. It’s a case José Mourinho makes every match day. As the months come off the calendar, however, the Chelsea boss is running out of time to convince us his team won’t win the Premier League.

source: AP5. Villa reverses fortunes, routs Norwich City

The up-and-down season of Aston Villa took another sharp turn for the better on Sunday, with a team that had one point and one goal in its four previous matches taking out its frustrations in the first half against Norwich City. After conceding within three minutes to January target Wes Hoolahan, Villa got two before the half hour mark from Christian Benteke (right), with goals from Leandro Bacuna and Sébastien Bassong (own goal) putting the match away before the teams hit the dressing room. With a 4-1 win at Villa Park, Paul Lambert orchestrated an embarrassing afternoon for his former team, enacting a small piece of revenge for the uneasy feelings that have lingered since his departure from Carrow Road.

(MORE: Aston Villa 4-1 Norwich City: Christian Benteke leads first half Villa flurry)

For Norwich City, coming off a 1-0 victory over Tottenham, the result adds to the confusion that has defined Chris Hughton’s time with the Canaries. The team looks on track for survival, if barely so, though results like today’s hint a collapse could come at any time. But give him a few more weeks, and Hughton will find a way to produce another upset, one that will underscore the uneasy security the former Newcastle and Birmingham manager has brought to Norfolk.

Should Norwich move on from Hughton? More than a few Canaries fans are in this camp, but there seems to be some certainty that comes with staying the course. That contentment might make for disappointments like Sunday’s, but it also avoids the risks that come with trying something new.

source: AP6. Not-so-moving day at the bottom of the league

Sunday’s schedule looked like an opportunity to shake up the relegation race, but after the day’s three games, the league’s bottom six remained unchanged. Fulham still occupy the cellar, with Cardiff’s loss at Spurs leaving the Bluebirds in 19th. Sunderland’s place in the Capital One Cup final meant their status would go unchanged, while West Brom, Crystal Palace, and Norwich held their ground. Palace’s draw at Swansea was the only point claimed by the league’s bottom six.

(MORE: Tottenham 1-0 Cardiff City: Roberto Soldado puts scoring woes in past)

(MORE: Swansea City 1-1 Crystal Palace: Late Swans blunder allows Palace to snatch a point)

That’s good news for the Baggies, Eagles, and Canaries, who see another week tick off the schedule without falling into the drop. For the bottom three, however, spring is coming. Felix Magath, Ole Gunnar Solskjær (right), and Guy Poyet are running out of games to figure out solutions. Even if they do find the right formula before the season closes, they may not have enough time for their answers to prevent drops into the second division.

Biggest omissions from the Ballon d’Or shortlist

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 24: Alexis Sanchez of Arsenal (R) is chased by N'Golo Kante of Chelsea (L)  during the Premier League match between Arsenal and Chelsea at the Emirates Stadium on September 24, 2016 in London, England.  (Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images)
Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images
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France Football released the 30-man shortlist for the Ballon d’Or award given to the world’s best player.

As expected in a EURO year, there are several Portuguese standouts to go with the usual suspects.

There are also some odd omissions.

[ MLS: Pre-playoff power rankings ]

Alexis Sanchez was Arsenal’s second-leading scorer as the Gunners finished second in the Premier League, and the South American attacker scored three goals as Chile won its second-straight Copa America, this one on American soil. It’s baffling that he’s not on the list.

N'Golo Kante enjoyed a season as the engine of the best story in Premier League history, manning the midfield for Leicester, and followed it up by helping France reach the EURO 2016 final. Pretty good, right?

Javier Mascherano and Ivan Rakitic were key pieces in Barcelona’s run to the La Liga crown despite being limited by the transfer ban. Mascherano followed it up by captaining Argentina to the Copa America Centenario final, while Rakitic starred alongside Ivan Perisic as Croatia won a tricky EURO 2016 group before falling to eventual winners Portugal.

BARCELONA, SPAIN - JANUARY 11: Fernando Torres of Club Atletico de Madrid is surrounded by (L-R) Javier Mascherano, Sergio Busquets, Ivan Rakitic, Gerard Pique and Luis Suarez of FC Barcelona during the La Liga match between FC Barcelona and Club Atletico de Madrid at Camp Nou on January 11, 2015 in Barcelona, Spain. (Photo by Alex Caparros/Getty Images)
Mascherano (far left) and Rakitic (second from right) are among several Barcelona players who didn’t make the cut (Photo by Alex Caparros/Getty Images).

Harry Kane may’ve not been a good choice to take corner for England, but he also was one of the best all-around attackers in the world as Tottenham surged into the Top Four of the Premier League.

With four goalkeepers making the cut, it shows that club success is more important than performance. David De Gea‘s season was certainly on the same plane as Buffon, though the latter won the league with Juventus and edged Spain at EURO 2016.

Marcelo, Leonardo Bonucci, and David Silva were also players who succeeded for both club and country and could’ve found their way onto the 30.

[ MORE: MLS Cup predictions ]

Finally, let’s see how I fared in projecting the 30 men back in mid-September:

— I got 24 on the nose, wrongly guessing that Kante, Kane, Alexis, Mascherano, Rakitic, and Olivier Giroud would make the cut. Giroud led Arsenal and France in scoring, but if Alexis wasn’t going to make it the coiffed Frenchman had no hope.

— Of the six I didn’t get, only one brings me great shame: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang should’ve been in the first 15 names on any list, not missing the post entirely. Paulo Dybala is a bit of a shocker from the crew, and Koke is a tricky miss. Luka Modric was our No. 31, while Rui Patricio was our 35. Diego Godin was a bad miss.

— What to learn from this: Atletico Madrid was obviously credited for its return to the UCL final, so Godin and Koke prove that carried a bit more weight than Kante and Giroud making the final with France, and Alexis thriving at the Copa America.

Whose historic hiccup was worse: Portland or Columbus?

PORTLAND, OR - MARCH 6: Kei Kamara #23 of Columbus Crew and Liam Ridgewell #24 of Portland Timbers go after a ball during the second half of the game at Providence Park on March 6, 2016 in Portland, Oregon. The Timbers won the match 2-1. (Photo by Steve Dykes/Getty Images)
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It’s been less than a year since we discussed who was best suited to return to the MLS Cup Final following Portland’s 2-1 win over Columbus in the 2015 title match.

Now we’re wondering who’s fall was more shameful, the Portland Timbers and Columbus Crew each missed the playoffs, just over 11 months after contesting the final. That’s never happened before.

[ MORE: Pre-playoff power rankings ]

We asked our staff to take a stand on the matter of who flubbed worse: Gregg Berhalter’s Crew or Caleb Porter’s Timbers.

Andy Edwards

Columbus: 2016 was Gregg Berhalter’s third season in charge in Columbus, and in each of his first two years, Crew SC took a gigantic step forward — from non-playoff side to in the playoffs in 2014; from young, naive playoff team to MLS Cup hosts in 2015 — which meant 2016 was supposed to be the culmination of a truly great revolution in Columbus.

They started the season slow, with no wins in their first five games. But they had done the same thing just 12 months earlier and there they were playing for the Cup in December. The Crew looked to be slowly turning this season’s corner when the Kei Kamara/Federico Higuain thing exploded and effectively ended their season in May.

Photo by Steve Dykes/Getty Images)

The big knock on Crew SC last year, at least for me, was that they never seemed to figure out a Plan B — if “hit it long for Kei, he’ll knock it down, and Ethan Finlay and Justin Meram will run onto it and toss the alley-oop back to him inside the six” wasn’t working, you’d already beaten them.

[ MORE: MLS Cup predictions ]

2016 exposed Berhalter, perhaps more than any player on the roster, because of the elongated nature of those struggles — literally the entire season. Finlay (6 goals, 9 assists) and Meram (5 goals, 13 assists) put up fine numbers once again, but they rang hollow for a losing team going nowhere all season long.

Wil Trapp’s age-23 season was completely wasted — he’s no longer “a young player” — and I’d take a long, hard look at Europe this winter if I were him. The defense has been an unmitigated disaster the last two season (53 and 58 goals conceded), mostly due to the all-out attacking nature of Berhalter’s game plans — hint: defending 2-on-4 against counter-attacks almost never ends well. The “other” Kamara, Ola, actually panning out was the saving grace that kept them within a mile of the playoff race.

Nick Mendola

Portland: Maybe it’s an odd year thing; Portland won the 2015 MLS Cup after claiming the West’s best record in 2013.

Or maybe, just maybe, the Timbers ran out of luck under newly-extended Caleb Porter in his fourth season on the job. This time, no one bailed them out.

Portland came out of nowhere to claim the West’s No. 1 seed in 2013, as Porter engineered an astounding 15 draws including 10 on the road. The tactics and lineup selection helped, but so did the arrivals of Diego Valeri and Will Johnson (pretty important, no?).

The Timbers missed the playoffs by a point in 2014, a 3W-1D end to the season not enough to make up for a horrible start to the season.

The next season saw the Timbers win it all, but not without needing a three-match winning streak to leap ahead of four teams and claim the third-seed (Seattle, LA, and KC all finished two points back). Six games later, they went from almost out to on top of the MLS world.

So what happened this year, with many falling all over ourselves to praise the long-term prospects of a Timbers dynasty? A giant failure. The Timbers failed to win a single road game, tossing aside their strong home field advantage (Portland was 12W-3L-2T at Providence Park).

SANDY, UT - APRIL 19: Head coach Caleb Porter of the Portland Timbers encourages his team during their game against Real Salt Lake at Rio Tinto Stadium April 19, 2014 in Sandy, Utah. (Photo by Gene Sweeney Jr/Getty Images)
(Photo by Gene Sweeney Jr/Getty Images)

The Timbers scored the second-most penalties in the league this year, with five, so it’s not like fortune avoided them (The Red Bulls didn’t score one).

But, oh, this was ugly.

Portland took three of its the final 12 points available to it. The Timbers lost big in Vancouver and Houston, two non-playoff destinations. In its last 13 games, Portland lost nine and won four.

[ MORE: Yedlin on Newcastle, EFL Cup ]

The Timbers completed the fewest passes in Major League Soccer, 400 less than the closest competitor and 4,300 behind the league-leading Revs. Portland couldn’t take the ball away, either, with the second-fewest interceptions in the league.

You could even argue that losing 4-1 in Vancouver on Decision Day — a loss to a knocked-out Cascadia Cup rival — makes it worse than Columbus’ season alone. This was awful stuff, albeit schadenfreude for the anti-Porter brigade.

Oh, and they bombed out of a poor CONCACAF Champions League group without a Liga MX or MLS opponent in it.

Alright, so Andy tabbed Columbus and Nick took Portland. Let’s get a tiebreaker in here.

Matt Reed

Every champion has a target on its back but the Timbers managed to essentially bring back all of its key starters from a season ago, despite losing Maxi Urruti. The Timbers were involved in 22 games separated by one goal or less in 2016, with Caleb Porter’s side winning only seven of those contests. Had one more game gone in their favor the Timbers would likely be back in the postseason. 

The case for (and against) every Eastern Conference playoff team

NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 13: Benoit Cheyrou #8 of Toronto FC defends Andrea Pirlo #21 of New York City FC free kick at Yankee Stadium on March 13, 2016 in the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images)
Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images
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Of the six teams remaining in Major League Soccer’s Eastern Conference, you could argue there are three distinct pairings.

You have red-hot traditional sides in DC United and the New York Red Bulls; There are the big-name driven, deep squads from Toronto FC and New York City FC, and finally the two relative unknowns truly deserving of “wildcard” status in the Philadelphia Union Montreal Impact.

[ MORE: Yedlin on Newcastle, EFL Cup ]

Sure the table tends to tell us who’s who in the pecking order. It’s hard to bet against the Red Bulls seeing they haven’t lost since July 3, and Frank Lampard has somehow quietly been a wrecking ball thanks to dynamite performances from captain David Villa and world-class maestro Andrea Pirlo.

But there are reasons those teams may not be the true favorite to advance to the MLS Cup final, just as there are ways to imagine Philly can punch their way through the East. We’re here to give you both.

Philadelphia Union (6)

Why they’ll win: The young unit might be too green to know it isn’t expected to knock off Toronto in Toronto, or a New York team in New York or New Jersey. Chris Pontius and Tranquillo Barnetta add veteran skill and savvy, while Andre Blake is capable of stealing some of the league’s more terrific strikes.

[ MORE: MLS Cup predictions ]

Why they won’t: Their last win was Aug. 27, and we’re supposed to expect the Union to win on the road at Toronto, RBNY, and then either NYCFC or DC. Nah, dog (though it’d be quite a story and we’d be happy to watch it).

Montreal Impact (5)

Why they’ll win: Didier Drogba may not be mentally in it, but he’s still a fierce competitor who can score with the best of them. By the way, the “best of them” definitely includes Ignacio Piatti. The Argentine has been one of the top players in the league this season, and can take over any game (Yes, even three on the bounce).

Why they won’t: The dysfunction and fall-out from Drogba’s benching permeates the room before match against red-hot DC United, and an average road team fails to meet expectations.

Montreal Impact forward Didier Drogba heads the ball in front of D.C. United midfielder Marcelo Sarvas during the second half of an MLS soccer match Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2016, in Montreal. (Paul Chiasson/The Canadian Press via AP)
(Paul Chiasson/The Canadian Press via AP)

DC United (4)

Why they’ll win: A four-match win streak earned most of DC’s starters a well-deserved rest on Decision Day, and there will be a “Why not us?” cry coming from the DC dressing room. Patrick Nyarko has been a lot of fun to watch. Luciano Acosta is legit as well. Bill Hamid is an excellent shot stopper, and the four-time champion Black-and-Red is overdue for a final, having been absent since beating KC in 2004.

[ MORE: Pre-playoff power rankings ]

Why they won’t: Let’s be honest, most arguments against DC sound quite political. “Well, they can’t win because of the other guys being so good.” DC doesn’t have the firepower of TFC, NYCFC, and RBNY; Would you bet on them beating two of the above, which they likely would have to? (Actually, kinda).

Toronto FC (3)

Why they’ll win: Frankly, this is the best defensive team in the East, with a minimum of three game attacking breakers in Sebastian Giovinco, Michael Bradley, and Jozy Altidore. Imports Drew Moor and Clint Irwin aren’t scared of the spotlight, and Will Johnson will be putting on for his city. And they’re good away from BMO Field. This could be TFC’s season, y’all.

Why they won’t: This is Toronto’s 10th season, and happens to be the first one in which it won more matches than it lost. TFC’s debut home match comes on Wednesday evening, and there’s something to be said for experience. While some of its players have plenty, the club does not possess much at all.

New York City FC (2)

Why they’ll win: One of only two teams (Toronto) to finish their road schedule with a .500 record, Patrick Vieira has been able to get the best out of the superstars and the lesser-known members of NYC’s squad. Tactically, we’re not sure there’s another coach in the East with his acumen.

Why they won’t: It’s also Vieira’s first playoffs as a manager, and the whole franchise hasn’t done that dance, either. They have one win in five combined matches against RBNY and TFC.

New York Red Bulls

Why they’ll win: Frankly, as stated above, because they don’t lose. Jesse Marsch hasn’t overseen a loss in three-and-a-half months, has two legit claimants to MVP honors in Bradley Wright-Phillips and Sacha Kljestan, and have been reinforced by one of the deepest Academy production lines in MLS.

Why they won’t: New York won just three road matches all year, even if it managed 7 draws away from Red Bull Arena. On top of that, this is year No. 20 of MLS, and founding members RBNY have zero titles and one final appearance. Those ghosts could come creeping up to the door.

USMNT’s Yedlin talks Newcastle challenge, EFL Cup quarters

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - JULY 26:  DeAndre Yedlin of Tottenham Hotspur controls the ball during the 2016 International Champions Cup match between Juventus FC and Tottenham Hotspur at Melbourne Cricket Ground on July 26, 2016 in Melbourne, Australia.  (Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images)
Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images
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USMNT standout DeAndre Yedlin is gaining valuable experience fighting for promotion with Championship-leading Newcastle United, and will likely get the chance to help the Magpies into the EFL Cup quarterfinals this week.

Newcastle hosts Preston North End on Tuesday at St. James Park, and the 23-year-old Yedlin has been providing plenty to the Magpies under Rafa Benitez.

[ MORE: EFL Cup Tuesday preview ]

Yedlin has appeared four times at right mid and four more at right back as Newcastle sits atop the Championship through 14 matches. He’s been in the 18 for every match since he arrived from Tottenham.

Manager Rafa Benitez has employed a lot of rotation in his squad given the congested schedule, and Yedlin has competed for time at the back with Magpies veteran Vurnon Anita and ex-Atleti back Jesus Gamez. The club’s right-sided attackers include even more options, headlined by the electric Matt Ritchie.

From The Chronicle:

“If you aren’t in form there’s always one guy will step in. They could take your place,” Yedlin said.

“That means every opportunity you get you must take and make the best of it.”

That’s the sort of competition we like to see abroad, and the reason players like Perry Kitchen (Hearts) and Matt Miazga (Vitesse via Chelsea) are lauded for taking steps out of their insta-starter status domestically (and again, I hate having to repoint out that it’s okay to feel this way and love MLS).

As for Tuesday’s match against Preston, here are Yedlin’s thoughts on being in the final 16 of the EFL Cup:

“It’s an important game. We are getting to the final stages of the cup now and obviously we want to win everything we can.

“It’s important to us. Like I’ve said the depth in this team is unbelievable. So I am sure whatever team goes out there will be extremely strong.”