DC United v New York Red Bulls

D.C. United makes it two-in-a-row with 1-0 win over New York (video)

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After going eight months without a win, D.C. United has won two in a row for the first time since 2012, with a 1-0 win over the rival Red Bulls vaulting United into fourth in the Eastern Conference. Converting a corner kick in the fourth minute, Ben Olsen’s team ran its record to 2-2-1, moving within one win of its entire total for the 2013 season.

The goal came off the match’s first real chance, with D.C. executing one of the most common corner kicks drawn up. Off a short corner from Fabian Espindola, Bobby Boswell beat Roy Miller to flick a ball far post, where Eric Alexander had lost Davy Arnaud. The veteran’s diving header from beyond the upright left Luis Robles with little chance to prevent one of the most straight forward of openers,  giving D.C. a lead it’d carry to the final whistle.

All of a sudden, those “#sadstats” people were tweeting after United’s 0-2-0 start have dried up, with the current reality looking far less gloomy:

  • With two wins, D.C. United have as many victories as last year’s MLS Cup finalists (Sporting Kansas City and Real Salt Lake) and more than the two teams that finished the 2013 regular season on top of the conferences (New York, Portland).
  • The team’s five goals are as many as Sporting Kansas City, Toronto FC, and the LA Galaxy.
  • D.C.’s -1 goal difference is better than New York (-4) or Portland (-3).

For New York, on the other hand, the excuses have started to run out. While the team was still without Tim Cahill, Thierry Henry and Jámison Olave were back after sitting out last week’s trip to Montréal. With those stars back, the Red Bulls may have actually played better than they did in the 2-2 draw at Olympic Stadium, though the result was worse. After falling to 0-2-4 on the season, only the Impact sit between the Supporters’ Shield holders and last place in the Eastern Conference.

Given how much tinkering Mike Petke’s already done, it’s unclear what else he could try. At some point, all that’s left to do is wait for Tim Cahill to get healthy, urge his team to play better, and hope the age we’re seeing on his squad is just the product of a slow start.

But he’s probably doing all of those things already, yet here we are. Though six games, New York’s team looks flawed in a way tactics, inspiration, and preparation can’t address. When you watch a Red Bulls game, you don’t sit there and think, “Wow, Petke should be doing better.” Instead, it’s “this team just isn’t that good.”

Maybe they’ll snap out of it, but having lost to a D.C. United team that didn’t exactly show a new, more dangerous side, it’s hard to see New York making a quick turnaround. The lack of quality in the middle along with an aging Henry means there’s only so much this team can do.

Maybe there’s another side we’re not seeing. Or maybe the Red Bulls front office need to try harder to address the problems it carried into the offseason. It looks like Petke needs help.

Social media reacts to Jamie Vardy’s Premier League history-making goal

LEICESTER, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 28:  Jamie Vardy of Leicester City celebrates scoring his team's first goal during the Barclays Premier League match between Leicester City and Manchester United at The King Power Stadium on November 28, 2015 in Leicester, England.  (Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images)
Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images
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The Internet exploded at around 12:50 p.m. ET on Saturday after Jamie Vardy — yes, Jamie Vardy — broke Ruud van Nistelrooy’s Premier League record for most consecutive games with a goal.

[ WATCH: The goal | The game — Leicester City vs. Manchester United ]

Yes, an Englishman is back atop the charts. An Englishman who was playing for Stocksbridge Park Steels, Halifax Town and Fleetwood Town before heading to Leicester.

He’s perhaps the reminder, as Rio Ferdinand Tweeted below, that the most unlikely of scenarios is still not impossible.

Well done @vardy7! You're number one now and you deserved it. #11inarow.

A photo posted by Ruud van Nistelrooy (@rvnistelrooy) on

VIDEO: Vardy sets Premier League record, scores in 11-straight games

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He did it. He actually did it.

Jamie Vardy made Premier League history on Saturday, scoring for the 11th consecutive game to become the first player in history to achieve that magnificent feat.

[ MORE: Twitter reacts to Vardy ]

Tied with Manchester United legend Ruud van Nistelrooy heading into Leicester’s clash against United on Saturday, it took Vardy just 24 minutes to set the new record as Christian Fuchs played a delicate ball in-behind United’s defense and Vardy did the rest.

[ MORE: Can Vardy, Leicester achieve unthinkable? ]

Watch the video below to see the King Power Stadium erupt as a truly memorable moment arrived.

Now, the next record for Vardy to break is from the 1931-32 English top-flight season, before the PL was formed. Sheffield United’s Jimmy Dunne scored in 12-straight games way back then.

Anyway, congratulations Mr. Vardy for making PL history.

WATCH: Insane finish as Everton, Bournemouth trade stoppage time goals

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This was an all-timer.

Bournemouth came back from a 2-0 halftime deficit only to watch Ross Barkley hand Everton a one-goal lead with a score in the final minute of stoppage time.

[ MATCH RECAP: Bournemouth 3-3 Everton ]

But after fans were cleared from the field, Junior Stanislas provided the dramatic answer for Bournemouth to force a 3-3 draw at Dean Court.

Pardew: “I don’t want to say a lot about” Newcastle after thumping his old employer

LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 08:  Alan Pardew, Manager of Crystal Palace celebrates towards the fans following the Barclays Premier League match between Liverpool and Crystal Palace at Anfield on November 8, 2015 in Liverpool, England.  (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)
Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images
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Crystal Palace boss Alan Pardew tried hard not to throw shade on his former side, or at least put in a post-match press conference that choked down his passive aggression.

The Eagles thumped Newcastle United 5-1 on Saturday at Selhurst Park behind braces from Yannick Bolasie and James McArthur, as well as a tally from Wilfried Zaha.

[ MATCH RECAP: Crystal Palace 5-1 Newcastle United ]

And the former Newcastle boss held back, mostly, from further embarrassing his old side, instead heralding the starring role of former Sunderland forward Connor Wickham, who put in a Team of the Week performance despite not scoring himself.

“We caused problems everywhere,” Pardew said. “Connor Wickham gave a centre forward’s performance we always hoped he would. We were irresistible today.”

“We are sixth in the division because we are a good team, it was not about the opposition today. I have a lot of friends and family at Newcastle but I don’t want to say a lot about them because I get criticised whatever I say.”

Newcastle, for its part, was mostly useless after scoring early on a classy chip pass from Daryl Janmaat to Papiss Cisse. Could Steve McClaren be fired after just 14 games in charge? Newcastle’s 19th place status says it wouldn’t be unfair.

And after losing to Sunderland last week, Pardew doubled-down on his status as a Newcastle plague in the Northeast.