MLS Snapshot: Real Salt Lake 0-1 Portland Timbers (video)

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The game in 100 words (or less): Go home, MLS. You’ve lost your mind tonight, you know that? Late drama and heartbreaking goals are all the rage in Major League Soccer these days, haven’t you heard? To match the above linked games on Saturday night, the Portland Timbers — and Nat Borchers in particular — broke Real Salt Lake hearts at Rio Tinto late into the night, as the visitors snatched all three points in the fifth minute of second-half stoppage time, through the hosts’ ex-bearded wonder. Nick Rimando is, and always will be, a superhero in goal. For 94 minutes, RSL’s superstar shot-stopper put in a Herculean effort (four massive saves), only to see his night’s work undone by one dagger-esque header. With the victory, the Timbers (39 points) leapfrog FC Dallas and take sole possession of fourth place in the ever-competitive Western Conference. Meanwhile, RSL’s (29) soul-crushing season slips further and further into the dark, which just so happens to match their playoff prospects. Roll that beautiful Rimando footage.

[ WILD NIGHT IN MLS: SKC 4-3 VAN | FCD 1-2 LAG | RBNY 3-0 TFC ]

Three moments that mattered

71′ — Rimando touches the sky to thwart Valeri — This is an incredible save, even by the ridiculous standard of Nick Rimando. When he turns his first-time shot on goal, Diego Valeri is, at the very most, four yards away from Rimando and closing in quickly. No problem, Rimando reacts, leaps, reaches up and pushes the ball over the crossbar in the time it takes the ball to travel four measly yards.

85′ — Rimando at full stretch to deny Urruti — Maximiliano Urruti was two Rimando hands from scoring a stunning winner of his own in the 85th minute, but as established above, the US national team’s eternal no. 3 ‘keeper is, and always will be, the best goalkeeper in MLS.

90+5′ — Borchers heads home from a corner kick — RSL fans, look away. Fans of the other 19 MLS teams, you don’t ever want this to happen to you.

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Man of the match: Nick Rimando

Goalscorers: Borchers (90+5′)

WATCH: Camila’s wicked swerving goal for Brazil

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The Tournament of Nations got underway earlier Thursday, with Brazil and Japan drawing 1-1 in Seattle.

While some in the crowd may’ve been waiting to see the United States women’s national team and Australia in the second game of the twin bill, they got an absolute treat from Brazil’s Camila.

[ MORE: Galaxy’s season-changing signing ]

The Orlando Pride midfielder is yet to scoop up 10 caps, but blasted this 25-yard goal home with a wicked outside bend.

The aesthetics are terrific.

LA Galaxy’s second Dos Santos signing is a season-changer

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Remember this day, MLS fans, as one that perhaps helped determine an MLS Cup Finalist.

The LA Galaxy have signed Villarreal midfielder and Mexican national teamer Jonathan Dos Santos, and he’s the sort of player who could alter the landscape of the Western Conference.

Like Nicolas Lodeiro to Seattle last season and New England’s addition of Jermaine Jones in 2014, Dos Santos’ move comes with the distinct possibility of elevating LA into the next stratosphere.

[ MORE: USMNT’s Arriola attracting transfer interest ]

Take the Galaxy’s history of winning, and toss in a midseason coaching improvement from Curt Onalfo to Sigi Schmid, as well as MVP-in-their-own-right caliber teammates Giovani Dos Santos, Romain Alessandrini, and Jelle van Damme.

Don’t sleep on the fact that Schmid might be gathering momentum from inheriting a talented and underachieving roster and a brand new game-changing midfielder, which feels a bit like karmic retribution for Seattle firing him and signing Lodeiro the next day last season. Seattle only went and won the MLS Cup.

Schmid has used any number of formations, but could deploy a 4-3-3 with Jona Dos Santos, Jermaine Jones, and Joao Pedro in the midfielder and Giovani Dos Santos, Alessandrini, and Gyasi Zardes up top (Sebastian Lletget could return at some point, too).

Now FC Dallas is very deep, Sporting KC looks powerful, and Seattle won it all last year — plus, may be adding Derlis Gonzalez?!? — but LA’s move to add Dos Santos creates a quartet of teams with proven mettle (Houston looks decent, too, but I have concerns about their first-time as a unit in the playoffs).

Joey Barton’s gambling ban lowered by almost 5 months

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Joey Barton’s 18-month ban for betting on almost 1,300 soccer-related events has been lowered to 13 months and one week.

Putting aside the hilarity of grown men and women discussing whether an extra week was necessary, the alteration means he’ll be eligible to return to football on June 1, 2018.

[ MORE: USMNT’s Arriola attracting transfer interest ]

While that still hampers the idea of the 34-year-old playing again — he’ll be 36 when the ban ends — it’s a significant change if he’s open to the idea of returning to the game.

Barton’s original ban expired in late October 2018, well into a season. From Sky Sports:

The appeal board also agreed: “It was clear that Mr Barton was not involved in any cheating, he did not influence any games and there was nothing suspicious about his bets.

“(The reduction) reflects the overall seriousness of the breaches and also the mitigation of Mr Barton’s addiction.”

Barton’s remarkably controversial career has including several suspensions and imprisonment, but he always found his way back to the field and was very good when in form. After time at Manchester City and Newcastle United, Barton fended off naysayers with stints at QPR, Marseille, Burnley, and a regrettable move to Rangers.

We may see him on the field in August 2018.

FIFA fines Qatar after players’ political support for Emir

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ZURICH (AP) FIFA has fined Qatar’s soccer federation after national team players breached rules against political statements by displaying T-shirts of the country’s Emir at a World Cup qualifier.

FIFA says its disciplinary panel imposed a 50,000 Swiss francs ($51,800) fine and reprimanded Qatar, the 2022 World Cup host.

[ MORE: Nainggolan staying at Roma ]

The incident happened in Doha on June 13, amid a dispute with regional rivals Saudi Arabia, Bahrain and the United Arab Emirates.

Qatar’s players warmed up for a 3-2 win over South Korea wearing white T-shirts with an image of Emir Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad Al-Thani to show their support for him.

FIFA says the charges related to “displaying a political image” and “political displays” by spectators.