Dispatches from the Beer Line: A fan’s view of NY Red Bulls

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This if from Red Bulls backer Arjan Roghanchi, his slightly unorthodox New York player ratings through MLS Round 2. Enjoy a fan’s take on things:

By Arjan Roghanchi

Rating players on a 1-10 scale, decimals included, means 100 possible ratings for each player each match. I like a slightly different approach: one word. Please enjoy, and consider using these as SAT analogy prep.

Ryan Meara: Wunderkind – Slightly dodgy on a clearance or two, but otherwise very happy with his game. Shep Messing thinks he is a dead ringer for Larry Bird.

Jan Gunnar Solli: Distressing –Terrible outing against Dallas, but better at RSL. Maybe more effective in a purely midfield role?

Markus Holgersson: Lost – No confidence, no vision, seems totally out of his element.

Stephen Keel : Solid ­ – Vincent Kompany he is not. But Keel has been disciplined in his positioning, reliable (if conservative) in his distribution, and peerless in his hustle.

Roy Miller: Defcon 1 – It’s not getting any better for Roy. Massive liability.

Joel Lindpere: Disinterested? ­– Sounded like he wanted out this offseason, and he has re-dedicated himself to the Estonian national squad. Through two games he has been ineffective.

Teemu Tainio: Alliterative – When on the pitch he provides stability, quality distribution, and rough and tumble defensive work. Made some great runs at RSL, with no reward. I think he is a winner, but could be overworked.

Dax McCarty: Industrious – As with Keel, Dax will never be Ryan Giggs. But his hustle is unimpeachable and he is capable of making good runs and playing good passes.

Dane Richards: Delayed – The pace merchant consistently waits a beat too long to make a decision and promising moves wither away. Does well to move defenders. If he can’t start playing balls in sooner, it’s all for naught.

Victor Palsson: Lost – See Holgersson, Markus.

Mehdi Ballouchy: Efficient – Has done well in two appearances as a sub, maximizing his impact-to-minutes ratio. Red Bull supporters love to hate the Morrocan international, but his performance off the bench has been good.

Juan Agudelo: Incomplete – Juan is a victim of the hype machine in a country desperate to find the Great American Striker. He will miss a huge chunk of the season with Olympic duty. That may help his transfer prospects but will do little for the Red Bulls.

Kenny Cooper: Motivated – Cooper has the lone goal of the 2012 campaign and he has proven he can be a goal-scorer in this league. Something more to prove in his first appearance in the white and red at RBA on Sunday?

Thierry Henry: Coiled – My favorite thing about Titi’s London loan spell: all those things which are viewed by supporters here as problems, as evidence of Thierry’s disdain for the league and it’s players, were on display at Arsenal.

The bottom line:  Supporters groups are calling for Hans Backe’s head on a platter loaded with the Portuguese grilled meats widely available in and around RBA. But losing two games away to quality opponents does not a catastrophe make. After all, the Red Bulls have been known to get a result when Backe’d into a corner.