Offshore drilling, Italy: Inter Milan 4, Milan 2

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Man of the Match: Check my research on this, but Diego Milito recorded the first hat trick in a Derby della Madonnina (or, Milan derby) since José Altafini scored three for Milan in 1960. That day, Milan lost to Inter, 5-3. Today, Milan not only lost the game; they also lost the league.

Packaged for takeaway:

  • Possibly the match of the weekend if you consider the confluence of significance, history, and actual in-game entertainment. Please let me know if you saw a better game (and I will spend the rest of my Sunday trying to track it down).
  • Besides Milito and Milan’s lost title defense, penalty kicks were the story of the day. The match featured three: one a blown call; one obvious; and one sparking an old debate;
    • Milan’s equalizer (44′, converted by Zlatan Ibrahimovic) saw midfielder Kevin Prince Boateng dive a millisecond before goalkeeper Julio César touched him while coming up to swallow a pass played behind Inter’s defense. It was a very convincing performance – perfectly timed such that only a few replay angles conclusively showed the fraud.
    • The obvious call was the second, right back Ignacio Abate pulling Milito down from behind after the Inter striker had beaten him in the left of Milan’s area. It was a terrible piece of defending. Then again, most given penalty kicks are.
    • The final penalty awarded, the one which led to the match winner, was more debatable, bringing  “ball to hand” into the conversation. A high pass from the right to Inter forward Giampaolo Pazzini was flicked onto defender Alessandro Nesta’s shoulder-high right arm. The hand ball was clearly unintentional, but it’s one that’s almost always given: arm in an unnatural playing position; the defending team benefitting from the play (the ball not allowed to go into the middle of the area). However, it was not an intentional hand ball, Nesta’s arm made no movement toward the pass, so some of the letters of the law are on Milan’s side.
  • Milan hadn’t given up four goals in a Serie A match since last January’s 4-4 draw with Udinese. One of the reasons they did so today: Three changes in a defense that also lost their starting right back (Daniele Bonera) and goalkeeper (Christian Abbiati) in the first half. Disorganization at the back played a part in each of the first two goals, while an outright error gifted a third.
  • The two early, forced subs meant Max Allegri’s hands were tied. He couldn’t make any changes until late, bringing on Antonio Cassano for Sulley Muntari in in 77th minute. Andrea Stramaccioni was able to start changing his side at the hour mark, after which Inter outscored Milan 2-0.
  • If Milan was hamstrung by their lack of substitutions for much of the second half, they were hamstrung by their tactics for beginning of the first. True, having Ibrahimovic play opposite right back Yuto Nagatomo could have worked, especially if Ibra had put him Robinho’s cross in the 12th minute. But taking Ibra out of the middle is always a risk. He could end up lost. For much of the fight half, Milan was overly reliant on Robinho because they had shifted their focal point out of the middle.
  • While Milan carried the burdens of tactics and a title race, Inter played like a team freed by lowed expectations, even if their Champions League lives were on the line. Particularly in the play of Esteban Cambiasso and Fredy Guarin in the middle, you could see Milan were going to have trouble matching Inter’s energy level.
  • As a result, Allegri was left to try a number of different configurations with his top three (Ibrahimovic, Robinho, Boateng) in order to promote his attack, but ultimately, it his problems at the back were too much to overcome. With no Thiago Silva, a backup goalkeeper in net (Marco Amelia), and an 18-year-old (Mattia Di Sciglio) making his third appearance at right back, Milan didn’t have enough to contain their rivals.
  • With the loss (and Juventus’s win), Milan’s title defense ends. They will finish second, next week’s visit from Novara rendered meaningless.
  • Inter’s season is basically over, too. They sit sixth, only three points back of third place Udinese, but they can’t finish in the top three (Udinese wins the head-to-head tiebreaker, Napoli wins a three-way tiebreak). Five points ahead of Roma and Parma, they have nothing to play for next week at the Olimpico, though given Lazio is still fighting with Udinese for Italy’s last Champions League berth, Inter will be expected to give the requisite effort.

Not need to write your congressman about Offshore drilling. You can get more examples of PST’s version here.

MLS Three Things: RBNY beats Atlanta, is a special club right now

Photo by Refugio Ruiz/Getty Images
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At this point, Jesse Marsch could take the USMNT job, Tyler Adams could bolt for the Bundesliga, and we’d still have to select the New York Red Bulls to finish with a home playoff game.

[ MORE: Willian’s shot at Conte ]

That’s how well run RBNY is these days, which is to take nothing away from their coach and 19-year-old star, but considering they navigated a solid CONCACAF Champions League run en route to this start… well…. wow.

On a night when Luis Robles’ ironman streak ended, Kaku recorded two assists, and Ezequiel Barco bagged his second goal in three matches, they don’t even meet the requirements of our three things.

Form giants deliver more goals

Marsch’s men have been shutout once this season, and most multiple goals in four-consecutive wins. Three of those four wins have come on the road, at LA, Colorado, and now Atlanta.

RBNY has the best points-per-game in Major League Soccer, has scored the joint-most goals despite playing in the second-fewest games, and is allowing barely more than a goal-a-game.

Bet against ’em. We dare ya.

BWP delivers the goods

RBNY’s 33-year-old English star scored twice and won a penalty that Daniel Royer converted as he continued his assault on all future Red Bulls’ hopes of becoming the club’s leading scorer.

Bradley Wright-Phillips has almost 50 more goals than his nearest competitor, Juan Pablo Angel, and he makes headers look like child’s play.

Victory comes with a price

Kemar Lawrence was lost with a scary-looking face-plant on a clearance, and needed to be stretchered off the pitch. Hopefully it’s not long-term for the Jamaican back.

Willian “edits” Conte out of FA Cup champions photo

John Walton/PA via AP
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Willian is not a fan of Antonio Conte.

Come to another conclusion if you like, but it’s hard to argue the Brazilian wizard’s feelings following his Instagram post after Chelsea beat Manchester United in the FA Cup Final.

[ MORE: Matic wants squad changes at Man Utd ]

Willian covered his manager in trophies following the win, and it’d be a stretch to call that a tribute to the Italian’s tactical brilliance.

The player recorded seven goals and six assists despite playing less than all but 12 Chelsea players in league play (12th place Alvaro Morata had 11 and 6).

We’re accepting alternative explanations for the since-deleted Instagram photo below:

Elis scores twice as Dynamo beat Fire 3-2

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BRIDGEVIEW, Ill. (AP) Alberth Elis scored two second-half goals to help the Houston Dynamo beat the Chicago Fire 3-2 on Sunday for their first road win of the season.

Elis, on a one-on-one breakaway, cut back to evade defender Johan Kappelhof and ripped a right-footer from the center of the box into the back of the net to give Houston (4-3-3) a 3-2 lead in the 74th minute.

[ MORE: Man Utd youngster gets USMNT call-up ]

The Dynamo’s Romell Quioto opened the scoring in the fourth, running onto a long through ball from Tomas Martinez and rolling the finish past sliding goalkeeper Richard Sanchez. Nemanja Nikolic tied it in the 14th minute and then fed Diego Campos for a goal about two minutes later. Elis converted from the spot to make it 2-2 early in the second half after Mauro Manotas drew a foul in the area conceded by Sanchez.

Chicago (3-6-2) has lost three of its last four games.

 

Inter Milan back in the Champions League after late heroics (video)

Giuseppe Lami/ANSA via AP
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It’s been more than a half-decade since Inter Milan qualified for the UEFA Champions League, an infamous run that ended on Sunday.

Inter scored twice in the final 13 minutes to beat fifth-place Lazio and advance into the Top Four via head-to-head record.

[ MORE: Man Utd youngster gets USMNT call-up ]

Lazio held 1-0 and 2-1 leads, but could not get the job done at home, collecting red cards in the 79th minute and stoppage time.

Uruguayan midfielder Matias Vecino scored his third goal of the season, redirecting a corner kick home in the 81st minute, as Inter clinched fourth place in Serie A.