Open letter to Canadian soccer: Expect the “American treatment”

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Dear, Canada

ProSoccerTalk from the United States here. How are the ol’ maple leafs hangin’, guys?

Nice to see you enjoy a little World Cup qualifier lift. That win last Friday was close, but you’re almost into the big regional dance now! You got a shot at final round qualifying.

About time, too. Man, when it comes to World Cup qualifying, we’re used to watching you guys fall quicker than beauty pageant queens in a Spelling Bee.

But we’re really writing to give you a little heads-up. See, before, you weren’t much of a threat. About as threatening as one of those adorable little Fiat Abarths at a Monster Truck pull. Beep-beep!

But now that you look like a burgeoning threat, uh, seems you might get some of the ol’ “American treatment.”

Yes, in certain shops of Shanghia, that’s a good thing – but this is something very different. In this case, it means horn-honking or music blaring or drums beating or all of the noisy above. On the eve of a Double Whopper-sized big game. Right outside your hotel. All. Stinkin’. Night.

That’s what we heard, anyway.

So, good luck down there in Panama City. Nice place. More modern and vibrant than you might think. They damn sure know how to build a helluva ditch, don’t they?

Oh, and their soccer team is getting better and better, especially up front with Blas Perez. But you probably know that. Well, you will by Tuesday night, at any rate.

Sincerely,

The Yanks at PST