In case you were wondering, Tim Cahill makes more than you do

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The MLS Players Union updated salaries for some late-season signings and, well, damn it feels good to be so freaking good at soccer.

Case in point: Tim Cahill, who is raking in a cool $3.5 million per year to hang out in New York City and play a sport he loves. We totally missed the boat on this whole career choice thing.

Elsewhere, Columbus Crew sensation Federico Higuain is making $160,000 (but $324,000 in guaranteed compensation), which is about $7 for every totally sweet thing he does on the field.

(Serious question: Who would you rather have? Cahill at $3.5 million if you’re the money-flowing Red Bulls — who are also dishing out $142k for Lloyd Sam — or Higuain at $324,000 if you’re Columbus?)

Marcus Hahnemann, the Seattle Sounders new goalkeeper all the way from England, seems to get the short straw, making just $60,000. But honestly, he just wants to hang out and ride around on his sweet trucks, so we imagine he’s good with whatever. Can he get paid in tires? He’s the best, seriously.

Soccer Insider has plenty more specifics on Ricardo Clark, Marcus Tracy (deal!), Juan Toja, and more. So get over there, yo.