Antonio Cassano in form during Parma introduction

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At his point in his career, Parma seems like a good fit for Antonio Cassano. While there’s cause to thing he could still contribute at Inter or AC Milan (his last two stops), there’s little reason for either of those times to take on that risk when they’re capable of signing more reliable options. But Parma, a team that finished 10th in Serie A and could use a boost in attack? Acquiring a temperamental player who could get more out of Nicola Sanone and Jonathan Biabiany is worth the risk.

At Cassano’s introduction at the club last Thursday, the club were reminded what they’ve acquired, with the highlights of his public appearance with the club encompassing the confounding, often difficult, mostly entertaining personality that’s seen the only 30-year-old make six stops since leaving Bari in the summer of 2001.

On his arrival a Parma:

I’m not sure exactly where we’ll end up, but I’m sure that things will go extremely well. And it’s World Cup year. I hope that this is the last club I play for. I’m convinced we will achieve great things – this is a challenge that I’m convinced I’ll win. People said I was finished as a player following my time at Madrid, however, I’ve won.

More on his arrival, including some vintage third-person:

I’m not here to put my feet up and have a holiday! The more responsibility I’m given the better I react and the more I give. When I’m made to feel useless, then I create havoc! If I play as Cassano can play, then everyone will benefit.”

On Inter Milan’s new boss, Walter Mazzarri, and his departure from the Nerazzurri:

I’d like to thank Branca, Ausilio and Moratti. But not Mazzarri. Before agreeing to take over at the club he called me and told me that I’d be an automatic starter this season with him. Then, after he’d signed his contract, he said that I would be an automatic choice – but to be on the first bus home!

On his last coach, Andrea Stramaccioni:

Stramaccioni? Oh, I see – you want controversy…! Let’s just say I left a lot of friends (at Inter). I had a fantastic relationship with the players there. But I’ve no comment to make about the coach…

On his career and potential:

So far in my career I’ve only achieved 30-40% of what I could have achieved. I’ve played for great clubs, even Real Madrid. I’m always telling myself: ‘Had you done more, where would you have played? Perhaps the moon, on your own?’

Over the years, Cassano has given fans a number of reasons to turn their back on him, but amid a season to vapid quotes and vacuous insight, Il Gioiello’s blend of honestly and egotism is a nice change. He’s honestly, if self-involved. And that self-involvement, not uncommon to athletes at his level, is part of the reason he’s at Parma:

Making the World Cup squad will be my big motivation. If I play the way I can, everyone will reap the benefits

MLS Three Things: RBNY beats Atlanta, is a special club right now

Photo by Refugio Ruiz/Getty Images
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At this point, Jesse Marsch could take the USMNT job, Tyler Adams could bolt for the Bundesliga, and we’d still have to select the New York Red Bulls to finish with a home playoff game.

[ MORE: Willian’s shot at Conte ]

That’s how well run RBNY is these days, which is to take nothing away from their coach and 19-year-old star, but considering they navigated a solid CONCACAF Champions League run en route to this start… well…. wow.

On a night when Luis Robles’ ironman streak ended, Kaku recorded two assists, and Ezequiel Barco bagged his second goal in three matches, they don’t even meet the requirements of our three things.

Form giants deliver more goals

Marsch’s men have been shutout once this season, and most multiple goals in four-consecutive wins. Three of those four wins have come on the road, at LA, Colorado, and now Atlanta.

RBNY has the best points-per-game in Major League Soccer, has scored the joint-most goals despite playing in the second-fewest games, and is allowing barely more than a goal-a-game.

Bet against ’em. We dare ya.

BWP delivers the goods

RBNY’s 33-year-old English star scored twice and won a penalty that Daniel Royer converted as he continued his assault on all future Red Bulls’ hopes of becoming the club’s leading scorer.

Bradley Wright-Phillips has almost 50 more goals than his nearest competitor, Juan Pablo Angel, and he makes headers look like child’s play.

Victory comes with a price

Kemar Lawrence was lost with a scary-looking face-plant on a clearance, and needed to be stretchered off the pitch. Hopefully it’s not long-term for the Jamaican back.

Willian “edits” Conte out of FA Cup champions photo

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Willian is not a fan of Antonio Conte.

Come to another conclusion if you like, but it’s hard to argue the Brazilian wizard’s feelings following his Instagram post after Chelsea beat Manchester United in the FA Cup Final.

[ MORE: Matic wants squad changes at Man Utd ]

Willian covered his manager in trophies following the win, and it’d be a stretch to call that a tribute to the Italian’s tactical brilliance.

The player recorded seven goals and six assists despite playing less than all but 12 Chelsea players in league play (12th place Alvaro Morata had 11 and 6).

We’re accepting alternative explanations for the since-deleted Instagram photo below:

Elis scores twice as Dynamo beat Fire 3-2

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BRIDGEVIEW, Ill. (AP) Alberth Elis scored two second-half goals to help the Houston Dynamo beat the Chicago Fire 3-2 on Sunday for their first road win of the season.

Elis, on a one-on-one breakaway, cut back to evade defender Johan Kappelhof and ripped a right-footer from the center of the box into the back of the net to give Houston (4-3-3) a 3-2 lead in the 74th minute.

[ MORE: Man Utd youngster gets USMNT call-up ]

The Dynamo’s Romell Quioto opened the scoring in the fourth, running onto a long through ball from Tomas Martinez and rolling the finish past sliding goalkeeper Richard Sanchez. Nemanja Nikolic tied it in the 14th minute and then fed Diego Campos for a goal about two minutes later. Elis converted from the spot to make it 2-2 early in the second half after Mauro Manotas drew a foul in the area conceded by Sanchez.

Chicago (3-6-2) has lost three of its last four games.

 

Inter Milan back in the Champions League after late heroics (video)

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It’s been more than a half-decade since Inter Milan qualified for the UEFA Champions League, an infamous run that ended on Sunday.

Inter scored twice in the final 13 minutes to beat fifth-place Lazio and advance into the Top Four via head-to-head record.

[ MORE: Man Utd youngster gets USMNT call-up ]

Lazio held 1-0 and 2-1 leads, but could not get the job done at home, collecting red cards in the 79th minute and stoppage time.

Uruguayan midfielder Matias Vecino scored his third goal of the season, redirecting a corner kick home in the 81st minute, as Inter clinched fourth place in Serie A.