Spain roundup: Ronaldo hat trick, Bale double lead Real Madrid’s rout of Sevilla

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Jokes about Gareth Bale’s failed move to Real Madrid had become so odious that the Welsh international’s Wednesday performance should be seen as an act of charity. His two goals within 27 minutes at the Bernabéu not only silenced that tedious analysis but ignited a breakout from the Blancos, Real Madrid going on to win 7-3 over visiting Sevilla.

Bale, that unskilled clot truly prescient analysts rightly passed judgment on after five La Liga matches, is now up to three goals in six Primera Division game – an unacceptable one-in-two rate from a wide attacker. Though he’s only been in the Spanish capital for a couple of months, this far-fetched experiment has gone on for too long. Its time to ship him back to Tottenham — nay, Southampton — once and for all.

In the real world, Real’s world record had them up two within a half-hour, with Cristiano Ronaldo adding the first of his three goals from the spot in the 32nd minute. Sevilla, however, would respond with a pair before halftime, Ivan Rikitic (penalty) and Carlos Bacca making it a one-goal game at intermission.

By the hour, Real Madrid had restored their there-goal lead, with score from Karim Benzema and Ronaldo making it 5-2. Rakitic’s second brought Sevilla within two before a third from Ronaldo, a missed penalty kick from Rakitic, and a Stephane M’Bia sending off ended the visitor’s hopes. When Benzema completed his double in the 80th minute, Real Madrid had their highest scoring day of the season.

For Bale and Benzema, their contributions went beyond the goals column, Each player added two assists while giving their best performances of the season. For Bale, the performance helps the winger move beyond the injury-riddled start to his Real Madrid career, while Benzema’s day comes after being excluded from the starting XI for this weekend’s Clasico.

As for the team, coming into the contest El Real had scored 20 times in 10 games – a prodigious rate, but one that put them behind Barcelona and Atlético Madrid on the league’s goal scoring charts. With today’s outburst, Real temporarily pass their crosstown rivals, who will try to improve on their 26 goals against Athletic tomorrow.

Defending, however, is still a problem for Carlo Ancelotti’s side. In today’s shootout, they gave up three goals, an unconverted penalty, and 16 shots (six on target). While Barça and Atlético have held their opponents to seven goals each, Real Madrid has now conceded 14 times this season.

Elsewhere today in Spain:

Real Valladolid 2-2 Real Sociedad: A pair from Antoine Griezmann had the visitors up two by the 53rd minute, but a three-minute outburst that produced goals from Daniel Larsson and Javi Guerra left the match even in the 78th minute. Sociedad were ultimately denied their third-straight win.

Valencia 1-2 Almería: Los Che suffer the indignity of being the first team to lose to Almería, with goals from Marco Torsiglieri and Aleix Vidal giving Spain’s cellar dwellers three points at the Mestalla. Jonas opened the scoring in the first half with a conversion from the spot after a Rodri penalty, but with six saves in Almería’s goal, Esteban Suárez never conceded from open play. Already under pressure, Valencia coach Miroslav Djukic could see a pink slip after this one.

Osasuna 3-1 Rayo Vallecano: Osasuna came into the match with Spain’s second-worst attack, an ailment cured by Rayo’s league-worst defense. Oier’s first minute goal gave the home side an immediate lead, an edge Oriol Riera doubled 12 minutes later. Early in the second, Roberto Torres completed Osasuna’s scoring, with Alejandro Gálvez pulling one back after Miguel Angel de las Cuevas had been sent off.

Report: Toronto to send Giovinco to Tigres for Valencia, cash

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An Mexican site reports that Tigres UANL is ready to send Enner Valencia and cash to Toronto FC to land Sebastian Giovinco.

Normally that’s seem a bit wild for TFC to send their perennial MLS MVP candidate packing, but the club has been hesitant to meet Giovinco’s terms on a new contract.

[ MORE: PL Manager Power Rankings ]

And Valencia is nearly three years younger and a bit bigger than Giovinco.

Valencia scored in bunches for Tigres after arriving from West Ham, scoring nine goals with an assist in 16 Apertura matches including three multi-goal games. He then saw his numbers dip to two goals and three assists in 11 Clausura appearances.

Giovinco, meanwhile, has six goals and six assists in 15 matches between MLS and the CONCACAF Champions League.

It would be a significant risk for TFC, though the idea of pairing up Enner Valencia and Jozy Altidore is a physical nightmare for MLS defenses.

Whoops! Unai Emery puts up Arsenal message on web site

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Arsenal’s next manager is very close to being officially Unai Emery.

That is unless, the Gunners’ brass has its mind changed by his sloppy web savvy.

[ MORE: Brighton nabs World Cup defender ]

Emery — or his people, or hackers — mistakenly put up a graphic featuring the Spanish coach, the Arsenal logo, and the phrase “Proud to be a part of the Arsenal family” before taking it down in short order.

Emery is expected to take over for Arsene Wenger at the Emirates Stadium this summer. Something tells us we’ll have an announcement on Wednesday or even later tonight…

State TV: Ghana president orders arrest of FIFA executive

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ACCRA, Ghana (AP) Ghana President Nana Akufo-Addo on Monday ordered police to arrest football federation head Kwesi Nyantakyi, a member of the powerful FIFA Council, over allegations of fraud.

Akufo-Addo’s order was announced by the state-run Ghana Broadcasting Corporation.

[ MORE: Brighton nabs World Cup defender ]

Abu Jinapor, deputy chief of staff at the president’s office, said the order for Nyantakyi to be arrested and investigated related to an undercover documentary that purports to show the football official asking businessmen for money in return for access to the president and other senior government officials.

“It was a clear case of defrauding by false pretense,” Jinapor said, adding that Akufo-Addo’s order came after he watched excerpts from the documentary, which has not yet been broadcast.

Nyantakyi is president of the Ghana Football Association, a vice president of the Confederation of African Football, and has been a member of the ruling FIFA Council since 2016. He was the FIFA official chosen to oversee the football competition at the 2012 London Olympics.

Ghanaian media reported that Nyantakyi was not in Ghana at the time of the president’s order but was returning home.

Nyantakyi has been accused of improper behavior before when a British media investigation just before the 2014 World Cup claimed he had been willing to allow the Ghana national team to play in games that could be fixed by others. He denied the allegation.

Premier League managerial power rankings

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There’s a new sheriff at West Ham United, and it’s no small-time boss.

Former Premier League champion manager Manuel Pellegrini is taking over the London side, which had us wondering how high he’d move up the acclaim ladder upon hiring (as of post time).

[ MORE: Brighton nabs World Cup defender ]

With the 20th spot still open — will it be Fulham or Aston Villa — the Arsenal and Everton jobs vacant for now, and both Neil Warnock and Nuno Espirito Santo yet to manage their clubs in the top flight, we rank the power status of the 15 other active Premier League bosses.

15. Javi Gracia, Watford — Manager don’t usually last long at Vicarage Road, and Gracia doesn’t have a record for sticking around clubs for too long himself.

14. Mark Hughes, Southampton — Saints stayed in the Premier League, and Hughes deserves credit for pushing the buttons on a talented squad.

13. Claude Puel, Leicester City — A disappointing finish to his season keeps Leicester outside the Europa League, and so he has a bit more to prove after an impressive reclamation job at the King Power Stadium.

12. David Wagner, Huddersfield Town — Keeping Town in the Premier League was impressive, but we’re not sure how much we learned about the long-term prognosis of Jurgen Klopp‘s best pal.

11. Chris Hughton, Brighton and Hove Albion — He’d led several clubs to Premier League promotion, and coaxed fine seasons out of what appeared to be a subpar defense at season’s open.

10. Eddie Howe, Bournemouth — One of the brightest young managerial minds, can he take the next step on the South Coast?

9. Roy Hodgson, Crystal Palace — What he did upon inheriting and then overseeing one of the worst starts in Premier League history was nothing short of brilliant. Clearly he hasn’t stopped learning unlike many other PL “retreads.”

8. Manuel Pellegrini, West Ham — What will a few years outside the Premier League, if anything, have done to the one-time Man City leader. Don’t forget: The season City won the PL season, he coaxed 20-plus goal campaigns in all competitions from Sergio Aguero, Edin Dzeko, Alvaro Negredo, and Yaya Toure.

7. Antonio Conte, Chelsea — Tactically and experience-wise, he’s so much higher on the list. Regardless of the mess at Chelsea, better was needed this season.

6. Sean Dyche, Burnley — Guiding tiny Burnley to the Europa League is as impressive a feat as any outside of what Guardiola did this year and Claudio Ranieri did at Leicester City.

— BONUS — 6b. Unai Emery, if hired at Arsenal —

5. Rafa Benitez, Newcastle United — Considering his resume, it shouldn’t be as surprising that he kept United up despite his owner refusing to green-light a real answer at center forward. Worked career years out of Mo Diame and Jonjo Shelvey.

4. Jurgen Klopp, Liverpool — The Champions League final says something, especially in a year he sold Philippe Coutinho, but his team still lacks the consistency of the three men in front of him.

3. Mauricio Pochettino, Tottenham Hotspur — Spurs have smartly spent and kept their stars around, but their financial outlay arguably should not have them consistently finishing ahead of Liverpool and Arsenal.

2. Jose Mourinho, Manchester United — Still a defensive marvel, still a genius, still somewhat hilarious… but we all know who No. 1 is…

  1. Pep Guardiola, Manchester City