WATCH: Claudio Pizarro’s bicycle darkens Hamburg relegation nightmare

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You can just see Claudio Pizarro’s thoughts as the rebound rises into the air and then begins to drop. With his back to goal and not a single Hamburg defender interested in bodying up on the 35-year-old Bayern Munich striker, they go something like this.

“Well, if you guys are just gonna watch, I might as well bike it.”

So he did.

Defending like this is why Hamburg is on the brink of relegation.