Consider this an open letter to all the goals hoping to be scored this weekend in Major League Soccer’s final acts of the regular season.
Here’s what you have to top.
We spent hours devouring goal footage from this season, narrowing the list to 49. From a Week Two headed goal courtesy Thierry Henry to a neat dribble by Chivas USA’s Kris Tyrpak last week, we were thorough.
In no way are we trying to say this order is anything other than subjected, nor that we’ve really spent loads of time deciding whether a Valeri volley was truly a more unique and stunning goal than a borderline accident courtesy of Jack McInerney. But we’ve got a good idea.
And here we go.
10. Kamani Hill, Colorado vs. Houston, Week 13
Touch of class from the bottom of a boot to the back of the net.
9. Will Johnson (and Fanendo Adi), Portland vs. Vancouver, Week 13
Adi’s juggle is what this is all about, the middle act to a strong finale.
8. Gyasi Zardes and friends, L.A. vs. Chivas USA, Week 25
This one would be much higher if we weren’t half-convinced it’s offsides. Brilliant build-up either way.
7. Diego Valeri, Portland vs. Chivas USA, Week 22
He could’ve had five on this list, maybe more.
6. Bradley Wright-Phillips, New York Red Bulls vs. NE, Week 22
Just wrap it around the keeper, as if he was meant to be traced.
Intermission: Let’s take a break from our countdown and ignore whether Jack McInerney had any intention of doing this to Houston in Week 15. It just looks wonderful:
5. Mauro Diaz and friends, FC Dallas vs. DC united, Week 8
Fabian Castillo starts the wonderful build-up, but it’s the faked shot that does it for us.
4. Robbie Keane, L.A. vs. NYRB, Week 29
Side-a-chips, if ya need one.
3. Obafemi Martins, Seattle vs. Portland, Week 24
Nice of Oba to let Clint touch the ball in the middle of this, being a team player and all.
2. Erick “Cubo” Torres, Chivas USA vs. Montreal, Week 16
More of a tricycle than a bicycle, but all gorgeous stuff from the one of the most underrated strikers in MLS.
1. Erik Hurtado, Vancouver vs. Seattle, Week 12
The whole play has “truth” written all over it. If only he could put it together full-time.