MLS touch line drama: Porter flings tissue back at Pareja (video)

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No one’s going to confuse Caleb Porter and Oscar Pareja as middle of the road personalities, so it’s not a surprise the two controversial Major League Soccer bosses got a little heated at the end of Portland 3-1 win over Dallas on Saturday night.

Porter’s known for working referees ad nauseum going back to his days at the University of Akron, and his parlor tricks are oft-discussed by many who’ve managed against the 40-year-old Timbers manager.

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So when Pareja waved a tissue at Porter on Saturday night, there was zero chance of no response. Some overly-polite folks claim Porter said, “Look at the scoreboard.” But I’ll bet you a load of dough that Porter says, “Scoreboard, (expletive).”

Think “Chappelle Show”:

Here’s what Porter said about the incident:

“So, I was walking over to shake his hand and he had a tissue that he put over his nose and tried to hand me a tissue,” Porter said after the match. “So, I thought it was very poor sportsmanship out of him.”

Porter went on: “Obviously, he wasn’t happy with the loss, but I’ve never had a coach come up and disrespect me like that. So, that’s what happened.”

Never, huh? Porter is Major League Soccer’s off-field villain. In last season’s playoff-less run, Porter rarely credited the opposition for earning a win. And while Pep Guardiola didn’t cover himself in glory in the All Star Game dispute, it was no surprise that Porter was on the other end.

He’s also mixed it up with Bruce Arena and Carl Robinson on the touchline, a pair of well-respected MLS vets. While it’s possible that managers are so enraged at being outfoxed by Porter’s genius, it’s more likely related to Porter’s in-match personality. Either that, or Porter’s just got that “first win in five matches” swag.

And let’s not excuse Pareja. Tissue as a prop? Scorching hot burn, coach. Truly classy.

Then again, this is Porter’s captain (in super slow-mo):