Newcastle captain pens open letter apologizing for recent nosedive

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Fiery player yet reserved speaker Fabricio Coloccini has written an open letter to Newcastle fans following their late-season divebomb down the table.

Newcastle has lost eight games in a row to shockingly put them just two points above the relegation zone, and with John Carver taking untold amounts of heat alongside villainous owner Mike Ashley, Coloccini has come to the defense of his team. However, the letter did come off somewhat awkwardly.

He begins right away by clearing the air, saying “Firstly, on behalf of the squad we would like to apologize for the moment we are going through. Needless to say this is not anything intentional.” Obviously the issues surrounding Mike Williamson’s sending off against Leicester City maybe required touching on, but for Coloccini to even entertain the thought that his entire squad was intentionally tanking is a touch concerning.

He then asked fans to move on, but also oddly contradicted himself. “Neither players nor staff would like to be in the position that we are in at the moment,” Coloccini wrote. “This is something that has happened for many reasons and right now there is no time to look back and correct those mistakes.” Ok, so there’s no time to correct the mistakes. Or is there? “The time we have left to turn around this situation is short but after the end of the season we will try to learn from the mistakes we made so that we don’t have to go through this again.”

Huh?

You can read the entire letter here on Newcastle’s official site

It was even awkward when Coloccini admitted things were getting awkward. “Today we are in a delicate situation, one that we have been through before, and it is one of the most uncomfortable situations in the world of football.” Yep. Yep it is.

He finishes with an appeal to fans to support the club despite all the turmoil, boycotts, and dissent. “Today we need you more than ever. In these three games we need to be together, we need to be united, to be a family – a family that fights together against adversity, a family that strives to achieve the success that you and this Club deserve. The players are committed to this and if you stay with us, if you join us, we are going to fight together for our black and white family”

Also noteworthy, there is no mention of manager John Carver, or owner Mike Ashley. He only refers to his teammates on the field during the letter. Good luck to Newcastle. They’re probably going to need it.