MLS roundup: Last-place beats 1st-place; Toronto FC top Timbers; Revs, D.C. split points

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Another week, another friendly reminder from Major League Soccer that none of us know anything about MLS. In what other league on this planet do the country’s bottom teams beat the top teams with such regularity? To the point where it’s not even a surprise when it happens? You simply think, “That makes absolutely no sense, so of course it happened.” Just look at those smiling Impact faces.

[ MORE: Previewing the rest of Week 12 ]

If you missed out on any of Saturday night’s MLS action, don’t worry, because we’ve got you covered with a roundup of all the night’s games.

Montreal Impact 2-1 FC Dallas

Coming into the night, the Impact ranked 20th of 20 teams in MLS, while FC Dallas sat atop the league in first place. It only makes sense that the former knocked off the latter, and for much of the night, actually looked the better team in doing so.

Some might say “MLS is crazy” because of what transpired at Stade Saputo. To them, I say, “It makes perfect sense, it’s MLS.” | FULL RECAP WITH HIGHLIGHTS

Toronto FC 1-0 Portland Timbers

Sebastian Giovinco is the most talented, biggest difference-making player currently doing his thing in MLS. With Jozy Altidore likely unavailable for the next two months (injury, followed by Gold Cup), Giovinco’s going to have play that way every week until he’s back.

On Saturday, Giovinco scored a peach of a long-range blast to give the Reds a much-needed home victory. Meanwhile, it is no long “early, still plenty of time left” for the Timbers, who by the grace of tiebreakers, are one spot out of dead last in the Western Conference| FULL RECAP WITH HIGHLIGHTS

[ MORE: Latest MLS transfer gossip: Del Piero, Cisse, De Rossi | Dani Osvaldo ]

New England Revolution 1-1 D.C. United

One red card = bad/diminishes your chances of winning a fair amount. Two red cards = disaster/you’re probably not going to win. Before the Revolution saw a pair of reds on Saturday night, they were vastly superior to D.C. United and held a 1-0 lead.

Following the sendings-off of Chris Tierney and Lee Nguyen (both deservedly so), they were probably still the better teams (blame D.C. for that one), but saw their slim lead dissipate late.| FULL RECAP WITH HIGHLIGHTS

Seattle Sounders 0-0 Sporting Kansas City

An extremely shorthanded Sporting KC ground out a 0-0 road draw against the red-hot Sounders, which is a fantastic result for them. As for the Sounders, the words “uninspiring,” “apathetic” and “indifferent” come to mind. | FULL RECAP WITH HIGHLIGHTS

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s MLS coverageStandings | Stats | Schedule ]

Real Salt Lake 2-0 New York City FC

The return of Jason Kreis to Rio Tinto Stadium was anything but kind for the former RSL head coach, as New York City FC lost for the seventh time in nine games.

John Stertzer and Alvaro Saborio provided the goals for RSL, who now find themselves in seventh place in the Western Conference, on the outside looking in only on the basis of disciplinary points, MLS’s fourth standings tiebreaker (who know?). As for NYCFC, they now find themselves 20th of 20 teams in the league with just 7 points from 12 games.

Colorado Rapids 1-0 Vancouver Whitecaps

Well, I’ll be…you know how this one ends. Two of the league’s “worst” teams beat two of the league’s “best” on Saturday night. As I said already, just another night in MLS, hence the facetious quotes around “worst” and “best.”

Lucas Pittinari scored the game’s only goal, a finish from close range, to give the Rapids just their second victory of the season. Coincidentally, those two wins? They’ve come against FC Dallas and Vancouver, the Western Conference’s top two teams coming into the night. MLS makes no sense.