Harry Kane: Thanks, but no thanks to Manchester United — “I am at a big club”

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Harry Kane ticks all the boxes as a potential transfer target for any number of Premier League clubs — he’s young, he’s English and he scored 31 goals in all competitions last season — except one: the 21-year-old Tottenham Hotspur academy product has no desire to leave for “greener pastures” this summer, or anytime soon.

[ MORE: Thursday’s transfer rumor roundup ]

Just last week, Manchester United were said to be after Kane, though we all knew that an actual bid — let alone Spurs accepting and Kane agreeing to leave Tottenham for anywhere else — was quite unlikely.

On Thursday, following England’s 1-0 loss to Portugal in the first game of the U-21 European Championship in the Czech Republic, Kane confirmed what many already knew, and Spurs fans across the globe exhaled loudly.

Kane, on his future and Tottenham’s standing, from the BBC:

“I am happy at Spurs and I look forward to the future with Spurs. I have seen there is interest but that’s all I know. It is flattering for other clubs to maybe be interested.”

“Tottenham are one of the big clubs. That is the way people have to see it. I am at a big club.”

Kane was never, ever, ever, ever going to leave White Hart Lane this summer, and we all knew/know it. I know it, you know it, everyone who doesn’t work for a UK newspaper knows it (even the people working for the papers know it, but they’ve got papers to sell).

[ MORE: Tottenham’s full 2015-16 Premier League schedule announced ]

Therefore, this shall be the final mention of the words of phrases “Harry Kane,” “transfer” and “[insert random club here]” for the rest of the summer of 2015. One of Tottenham’s own will remain as such when Aug. 8 rolls around and Spurs visit Old Trafford on the opening day of the season.