Where in the world is Angel Di Maria? Man United boss Louis van Gaal has no idea

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Imagine purchasing a car that cost you $90 million in August of one year, then 12 short months later losing tracked of where you parked said car and not having a single clue where in the world it might be.

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That’s (kind of) the situation Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal finds himself in these days, only instead of a car, it’s an Argentine winger by the name of Angel Di Maria that the second-year Man United boss can’t seem to find.

As Di Maria’s protracted transfer saga continues to drag on, Van Gaal readily admitted on Wednesday that he hasn’t the faintest idea where Di Maria currently is. After competing for Argentina at the 2015 Copa America, Di Maria was scheduled for an extended break and a late arrival to United’s preseason preparations in the United States, but ongoing transfer negotiations with Ligue 1 powerhouse Paris Saint-Germain have apparently caused Di Maria to go AWOL.

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When asked about Di Maria’s whereabouts, Van Gaal had the following to say, from the Telegraph:

“You can ask that every week, but it is the same answer. Maybe you know? I don’t know that either.”

Coincidentally, the two sides faced one another Wednesday night in their final International Champions Cup game. Following the game, PSG manager Laurent Blanc seemed quite hopeful that negotiations were reaching the latter stages and an agreement would soon be struck. Van Gaal, however, was bullishly mum on the situation.

Blanc: “You know negotiations are in tandem. But as United and Paris Saint Germain are both big clubs, that can be difficult. But we feel we are close to the end.”

Van Gaal: “I don’t know because I’m not the same manager as Laurent Blanc. I don’t want to answer these questions. With Manchester United, we shall announce something when it is already done and not when it isn’t done, because it’s a process.

“I have said that many times. We will have to wait and see and I don’t want to interfere.”

In summation, Di Maria is fed up with Man United; Van Gaal has no idea where his club’s $90 million investment has run off to; Blanc, thanks to his oil-rich employers, is going to be the one human being out of seven-plus billion to benefit most from the whole ordeal.

The soccer transfer market is a strange, crazy place.