MLS Snapshot: Real Salt Lake 0-1 Portland Timbers (video)

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The game in 100 words (or less): Go home, MLS. You’ve lost your mind tonight, you know that? Late drama and heartbreaking goals are all the rage in Major League Soccer these days, haven’t you heard? To match the above linked games on Saturday night, the Portland Timbers — and Nat Borchers in particular — broke Real Salt Lake hearts at Rio Tinto late into the night, as the visitors snatched all three points in the fifth minute of second-half stoppage time, through the hosts’ ex-bearded wonder. Nick Rimando is, and always will be, a superhero in goal. For 94 minutes, RSL’s superstar shot-stopper put in a Herculean effort (four massive saves), only to see his night’s work undone by one dagger-esque header. With the victory, the Timbers (39 points) leapfrog FC Dallas and take sole possession of fourth place in the ever-competitive Western Conference. Meanwhile, RSL’s (29) soul-crushing season slips further and further into the dark, which just so happens to match their playoff prospects. Roll that beautiful Rimando footage.

[ WILD NIGHT IN MLS: SKC 4-3 VAN | FCD 1-2 LAG | RBNY 3-0 TFC ]

Three moments that mattered

71′ — Rimando touches the sky to thwart Valeri — This is an incredible save, even by the ridiculous standard of Nick Rimando. When he turns his first-time shot on goal, Diego Valeri is, at the very most, four yards away from Rimando and closing in quickly. No problem, Rimando reacts, leaps, reaches up and pushes the ball over the crossbar in the time it takes the ball to travel four measly yards.

85′ — Rimando at full stretch to deny Urruti — Maximiliano Urruti was two Rimando hands from scoring a stunning winner of his own in the 85th minute, but as established above, the US national team’s eternal no. 3 ‘keeper is, and always will be, the best goalkeeper in MLS.

90+5′ — Borchers heads home from a corner kick — RSL fans, look away. Fans of the other 19 MLS teams, you don’t ever want this to happen to you.

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Man of the match: Nick Rimando

Goalscorers: Borchers (90+5′)