Midway through the article, it becomes more about the punishment than the crime.
A 34-year-old probable Charlton fan got way too excited during a League Cup loss to Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park.
His angry eyes spotted Palace mascot Kayla, an American bald eagle, and his brilliant idea was…
To punch it.
Fortunately, the fan failed. And was caught. And is in trouble.
A 34-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of violent disorder and attempted criminal damage.
Six other men were also arrested on Wednesday in connection with the violence, Scotland Yard said.
In terms of his sentence, here’s my thought: Bind the man, give him some sunglasses, some protection for his major blood vessels, and spray him with some fish musk (Do fish have musk?).