AP Photo/ Moises Castillo

Three things from Guatemala’s shockingly easy win over the USMNT

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I’ve gotta warn you, we’re going to be wading into snark-infested waters over the course of these “Three Things” after the United States struggled to string multiple attacking passes together in a woeful 2-0 loss to Guatemala on Friday.

[ MORE: Match recap | Player ratings ]

But we can wade together, right? You’ll come with me?

Let’s wade…

W-T-J?!? (WHAT THE JURGEN)

What was he thinking? Even hamstrung by the injuries — see Thing No. 3 below — Klinsmann started a number of players in precarious positions.

He also started Geoff Cameron (right) at right back. The Stoke City man is capable there, but DeAndre Yedlin actually plays that position for Sunderland.

United States' Geoff Cameron, right, and Guatemala's Jose Contreras jump for the ball during a 2018 Russia World Cup qualifying soccer match at Mateo Flores Stadium in Guatemala City, Friday, March 25, 2016. (AP Photo/ Moises Castillo)
(AP Photo/ Moises Castillo)

Yedlin couldn’t play there, though, because he was playing right wing. And Mix Diskerud couldn’t play on the wing, because he was playing as, essentially, a box-to-box midfielder.

[ OLYMPIC PLAYOFF: Match recap | 3 things ]

Here’s the worst part: He made substitutions that made the team not only more competitive, but more logical. Michael Orozco was terrible and hadn’t been playing for his team, and Gonzalez isn’t a natural partner for him.

So Klinsmann moved Cameron central, dropped Yedlin to right back and moved Michael Bradley a bit further back in the midfield. He brought on Gyasi Zardes and Darlington Nagbe to open things up for Bobby Wood and Clint Dempsey. And it kinda worked (as much as it could in a horrific 2-0 loss).

None of the above is good. Hamstrung by injuries or not — he was, this team has the depth of a kiddie pool — Klinsmann’s critics deserve the field days they will stretch through at least Tuesday. It bears asking: Is there a chance Klinsmann won’t make it to Columbus?

INJURIES (IT MUST BE SAID)

This is no way excuses Friday’s performance, but the U.S. is having a horrible run of luck. John Brooks has been thriving with Hertha Berlin, but was sent back to Germany after picking up a knock. Matt Besler was also hurt, and both Fabian Johnson and Jozy Altidore were unfit to start.

With the exception of Besler, those guys were major absences for a side already without Aron Johannsson and Terrence Boyd. Even Christian Pulisic, breaking through at Borussia Dortmund, got sick ahead of this one and only might be available for Tuesday’s return match in Ohio.

The United States men’s national team does not have good depth on the whole, and we’re seeing that they will struggle when down to their second-choice unit.

MOTTA WAS GOOD, YANKS MADE HIM LOOK BETTER

Paulo Motta won’t have to buy a meal in Guatemala any time soon after he made some terrific saves on Friday, but it was certainly American-aided.

Clint Dempsey should’ve pulled the Yanks to within one early in the second half after Darlington Nagbe and Bobby Wood combined to lay a ball right into the Clint Zone, but the American forward hit the ball right at Motta.

United States' Clint Dempsey, right, controls the ball against Guatemala's Jean Marquez during a 2018 Russia World Cup qualifying soccer match at Mateo Flores Stadium in Guatemala City, Friday, March 25, 2016. (AP Photo/ Moises Castillo)
(AP Photo/ Moises Castillo)

And while Motta made a tremendous save on Jozy Altidore late, you do want you striker to find a way to put that ball home.

That said, Motta was decisive and claimed seemingly every ball within his reach. He was vocal and, frankly, had me pumped up with his gesticulations. Sometimes, you’ve gotta tip your cap to the victor. I’m doing that now.

FOLLOW LIVE, Gold Cup: USMNT closes out group v. Panama

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It’s a fully-changed starting XI for the U.S. Men’s National Team as it closes out the group stage against Panama at Children’s Mercy Park in Kansas City, Kansas.

Omar Gonzalez and Matt Miazga start together in the backline, Jozy Altidore returns to the starting lineup up top, and Jordan Morris and Jonathan Lewis feature on the wings alongside Altidore. Ten of the 11 players now ply their trade in MLS, including the Gonzalez, who recently moved to Toronto FC.

[ FOLLOW LIVE: USMNT takes on Panama in Kansas City]

Hit the link above to follow along for the next two hours, and check back on PST for a full recap and in-depth analysis after the final whistle.

Must-See Goal: Wayne Rooney v. Orlando City

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say it. Wayne Rooney just scored the most amazing goal in Audi Field’s young history.

In the 10th minute of D.C. United’s match against Orlando City SC on Wednesday evening, Rooney noticed Orlando’s Brian Rowe straying way off his line. And so, with an audacious but accurate attempt, Rooney let fly from 65 yards and SCORED. Just check this goal out below.

[FOLLOW LIVE: USMNT v. Panama]

Rooney took advantage of a crazy bounce and with his literal first touch, unleashed a thunderbolt that Rowe couldn’t catch up to. It automatically becomes one of the top contenders for the MLS Goal of the Year, and should make it on every top ten countdown this evening and tomorrow.

Benfica: Atletico Madrid make $143 million bid for Felix

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The legend of Joao Felix appears to have reached full market value potential.

The 19-year-old Portuguese striker is coming off a breakout year for Benfica, and now the Portuguese giants have received an impressive $143 million offer from Atletico Madrid for Felix. The club confirmed the offer in a statement on its website, stating it was analyzing the deal. Felix has a $136.5 million release clause in his contract, but it appears the additional $7 million is in processing costs.

[READ: Kroos wants to retire at Real Madrid]

Felix was outstanding at Benfica last year, scoring 15 goals with seven assists in 26 league games and three goals and one assist in five Europa League game. Felix has already made his international debut for Portugal.

If confirmed, Felix would become the fifth-most expensive transfer in world history, and the second-most expensive transfer for a teenager behind Kylian Mbappe.

AFCON: Nigeria 1st team through to round of 16 at African Cup, joined by host Egypt

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CAIRO (AP) Former champion Nigeria became the first team to reach the last 16 at the African Cup of Nations after defender Kenneth Omeruo‘s second-half goal delivered a 1-0 win over Guinea on Wednesday.

The Nigerians were unimpressive in the first half in Alexandria but lifted their game in the second. Alex Iwobi‘s rasping shot was pushed away by Guinea goalkeeper Ibrahim Kone and Ahmed Musa almost set up Odion Ighalo on a counterattack.

The former Chelsea defender Omeruo did what the forwards had not been able to do when he beat Kone with a glancing header at the near post off Moses Simon’s corner in the 73rd minute.

Nigeria, which won the title in 2013, has two wins from two games in Group B. It beat Burundi 1-0 in its first match and now needs a draw from its last fixture against Madagascar to finish top and stay in Alexandria for the last 16.

There was more good news for Nigeria when Samuel Kalu came on as a substitute near the end. The midfield player collapsed at a training session the day before the first game, suffering from dehydration, and was hospitalized.

Coach Gernot Rohr rested captain John Obi Mikel against Guinea.

Elsewhere, Egypt also confirmed a place in the knockout stages with a 2-0 win over the Democratic Republic of Congo. Ahmad Elmohamady and Mohamed Salah each scored in the first half to lead the Pharoahs to victory, the hosts second-straight win in the competition.

In the other match of the day, Uganda tied Zimbabwe, 1-1.