Zlatan promises “a lot of big things” this summer … “It’s like a marriage”

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic is almost definitely certainly coming to the Premier League — that’s what he wants everyone to believe, at least, as he continues to toy with the hearts of so many supporters around the world.

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The big Swede’s contract with Paris Saint-Germain is up this summer — this much we’ve known for quite a while — and he’s already confirmed he’ll be leaving the Ligue 1 giants ahead of the 2016-17 season. But where will he go? Which will be the club lucky enough to sign world football’s most interesting man?

Half the clubs in the Premier League want Zlatan, according to the 34-year-old, though he won’t yet reveal which ones. Is it Manchester United? Manchester City? Chelsea? Arsenal? What about the champions-elect, Leicester City? The world may never, ever know!

In typical Zlatan fashion, Zlatan is speaking very cryptically — and very publicly — about his future — quotes from the Guardian:

“There’s interest, I can confirm that. We’ll have to wait and see what happens. I’ll look at every offer on the table and then make a decision. It’s like a marriage. Both parties need to want it just as much.

“I think the Premier League is the league that attracts the most interest in the world. No doubt about it. I’ve played in fantastic countries and leagues. Every league has its pros and cons and that goes for the Premier League as well.

“I will not lie to you, Mino [Raiola], my agent, handles everything regarding my future right now. I am playing football and he is focusing on that. Then, in the summer, we will look at all the options. I have a contract until the end of June, when contracts normally run out. And I believe I have a lot of options. A lot of big things will happen this summer.”

“If you just have a little patience, there will be a lot to write about. The future looks very bright.”

Zlatan is one of the few professional athletes who doesn’t actually need to hire a publicist, because he’s so good at singing his own praises and selling himself to the masses. That said, we know you’re leaving PSG and that a number of clubs will undoubtedly want to sign you, Zlatan, but unless you’re ready to tell us which clubs are after you or where you’re headed, please stop pimping yourself out.