MLS Snapshot: New England Revolution 1-1 Portland Timbers (video)

AP Photo/Steven Senne
1 Comment

The game in 100 words (or less): The New England Revolution are the new Colorado Rapids and/or Chicago Fire (just kidding, the Fire are still the Fire, but the Revs are still the Rapids), which is to say, “who did you say was playing? Oh, the Revs? Yeah, never mind.” Not only is Gillette Stadium an atrocious backdrop for Major League Soccer — doubly triply quadruply so for weeknight games — but given the amount of attacking talent at Jay Heaps’ disposal, the Revs should be a brilliant team to watch. They are not. I’ll say this for the Rapids, though: at least when they were the league’s favorite punchline and punching bag, they were so in spectacular and hilarious fashion. The Revs can’t even give us that these days. Speaking as someone who added a pair of Revs players to his MLS fantasy team, due to their double-game-week status — and even captained one of them, to boot — the Revs are the worst.

[ MORE: Monday’s MLS Rewind column  ]

Three Two moments that mattered

64′ — Barmby’s volley bounces over the line for 1-0 — Have you ever seen a more cleanly hit volley? Jack Barmby, have some of that!

89′ — Taylor bundles the ball into his own goal — If the Revs were going to “score” an equalizer, it was always going to look like this. So, a hearty “good job” to both teams for sticking to the script.

[ FOLLOW: All of PST’s MLS coverageStandings | Stats | Schedule ]

Man of the match: Jack Jewsbury

Goalscorers: Barmby (64′), Taylor (89′ – OG)