MLS Snapshot: MNUFC throttled by Atlanta Utd, 6-1, in home debut

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The game in 100 words (or more): It’s going to be a long, long, long season for Minnesota United if head coach Adrian Heath doesn’t find a fix for the Loons’ terrible, disastrous, atrocious backline — and fast. What more needs to be said?

They did it in their first two games. Having been throttled by the Portland Timbers on their MLS debut a week ago, Minnesota suffered yet another embarrassing defeat on Sunday, this time by the final score of 6-1, at the hands of fellow expansion side Atlanta United. Josef Martinez bagged his first three MLS goals, a hat trick on the snowy afternoon at TCF Bank Stadium on the campus of the University of Minnesota, while Miguel Almiron, Atlanta’s 23-year-old, $8-million Designated Player signing, notched a brace of his own. For the non-math majors among us, 11 goals conceded in 180 minutes works out to a goal conceded every 16 minutes, 27 seconds.

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Three moments that mattered

3′ — Martinez skates past everyone, makes it 1-0 — 93 minutes minutes into Minnesota’s MLS tenure, a theme emerges.

13′ — Almiron does the same for 2-0 — Said theme recurs with alarmingly regularity.

52′ — Almiron smashes on the volley for 4-1 — Having pulled themselves back to 3-1 before halftime, the next goal was always going to determine this game’s direction. It went Atlanta’s way, surprisingly.

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Men of the match: Josef Martinez

Goalscorers: Martinez (3′, 27′, 75′), Almiron (13′, 52′), Peterson (90+3′)