Messi suspended three matches for criticizing CONMEBOL

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CONMEBOL has bravely suspended the world’s best player for three matches, all friendlies he may have opted to skip anyway.

Lionel Messi called the confederation corrupt during the Copa America, saying that CONMEBOL wanted host nation Brazil to advance to the final.

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Messi was also fined $50,000 for the words, according to, which came after a match in which he was given a comical red card which somehow withstood video review.

He was initially fined just $1,500, which was laughed off around the world. Messi earns about $2 million a week through salary, endorsements, and bonuses.

The friendlies against Chile, Mexico, and Germany are all hosted outside of Argentina. The first two are in the United States and the third is in Dortmund, and Messi’s absence is sure to thrill organizers and attendees alike.

Oh, and he’ll be back to face Brazil in Saudi Arabia. Funny thing, that.

Barcelona supporters, meanwhile, are probably thrilled.